09/29/13

Year 1924 (MCMXXIV) was a leap year starting on Tuesday.

on December 10th of 1924 Charles Schuch was born.

This morning at 3:40am September 29th of 2013 Charles Schuch died at the age of 88.

He was my father's father.
My grandpa.
I don't know what I feel or think right now.

09/26/13

Time
Money
Relationships
Passion

168 hours in a week.
-40 hours of work
128 hours in a week.
-56 hours of sleep
72 hours in a week.

72 hours to fit
prayer
driving time
meals
friendship
family
church
interests for myself
romantic life
TV shows/sports
Movies
reading
exercise

72 hours...

I can't have it all...so what gives? What is the order on the totem pole? The things of this life are so intertwined that removing one causes the whole stack to tumble.

If I cut out meals I die
If I cut out drive time I don't go anywhere
If I cut out prayer my spirit starves
If I cut out friends, family, romantic life, church, the same happens
If I cut out TV/sports, movies, my friend life suffers
If I cut out reading my mind suffers
If I cut out exercise my body suffers
if I cut out my passion, interests for myself, who I am suffers

what do I do? what do I do when I am pulled every way and I want to have it all in my life?

on top of all of this I am told not to be too busy, I am told to make room in my life for peace and to calm the schedule...

72 hours to live...

Time
Money
Relationships
Passion

which one goes? again they are all connected... in a strange way its a list but yet it is one thing...

Life.

if any of it is taken away can I still have life?

how can I expect to pour love into a woman when I can't dedicate the time required?
If I give up my passions to focus that time on this person, then who she was originally attracted to dies. Thus the relationship will shortly follow.

How are we suppose to live?
What would the ideal weekly schedule look like in the Kingdom of God on Earth as it is in Heaven?

I can barley find the time to write once a week what is on my heart. This place I use to view as an oasis to unload my self I now view as another task that must be scheduled.

am I suppose to be single?
am I meant to be with someone?
It doesn't seem to be naturally working. It seems to demand more and more of me and even still I find myself lacking, disappointing, letting down, hurting, wounding.

By trying to care for someone, I end up hurting them the most through my physical limitations and constrictions of time. What is the more loving thing to do? Be with them and disappoint, or let them go?

the bible, the "handbook for life" the "instruction manual" seems to be lacking a couple chapters I'd like to read...

Sigur Rós: Fjögur Píanó

09/18/13

faith by itself isn’t enough. Unless it produces good deeds, it is dead and useless. Now someone may argue, “Some people have faith; others have good deeds.” But I say, “How can you show me your faith if you don’t have good deeds? I will show you my faith by my good deeds.” You say you have faith, for you believe that there is one God. Good for you! Even the demons believe this, and they tremble in terror. How foolish! Can’t you see that faith without good deeds is useless?
-James

“Teacher, which is the most important commandment in the law of Moses?”
Jesus replied, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.”
-Matthew

Faith without deeds is useless.
The deeds are to love God and neighbor.
Love is a verb.
Love does.
What does love look like?

the Lord has told you what is good, and this is what he requires of you: to do what is right, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God.
-Micah

Seek Justice
Love Mercy
Walk Humbly

All verbs.

Even while you fast, you keep oppressing your workers. What good is fasting when you keep on fighting and quarreling? This kind of fasting will never get you anywhere with me. You humble yourselves by going through the motions of penance, bowing your heads like reeds bending in the wind. You dress in burlap and cover yourselves with ashes. Is this what you call fasting? Do you really think this will please the Lord? “No, this is the kind of fasting I want: Free those who are wrongly imprisoned; lighten the burden of those who work for you. Let the oppressed go free, and remove the chains that bind people. Share your food with the hungry, and give shelter to the homeless. Give clothes to those who need them, and do not hide from relatives who need your help. “Then your salvation will come like the dawn, and your wounds will quickly heal. Your godliness will lead you forward, and the glory of the Lord will protect you from behind. Then when you call, the Lord will answer. ‘Yes, I am here,’ he will quickly reply. “Remove the heavy yoke of oppression. Stop pointing your finger and spreading vicious rumors! Feed the hungry, and help those in trouble. Then your light will shine out from the darkness, and the darkness around you will be as bright as noon. The Lord will guide you continually, giving you water when you are dry and restoring your strength. You will be like a well-watered garden, like an ever-flowing spring.
-Isaiah

Faith without Deeds is dead
Deeds are love
Love is a verb.
Love Does.

Sigur Rós: Dauðalogn

09/11/13

Stand sit, Stand sit, shake hands, smile, repeat.

They say living for Christ is life and having it to the fullest...

Then why do I feel so bored?

They say once you have Christ at the center of your life He fills that void, that hole in your heart, and you are satisfied.

But week in and week out it is the same, there is no adventure, there is no passion.

We wake up and we herd into the building and we raise our hands and we bow our heads, it's always the same. Then we split up and head to our small groups throughout the week but it's staring at words on a page and sitting comfortably in a seat.

It's the same worship songs,
It's the same commentary
It's the same prayers

I read the book of Acts in the bible and I can't help but feel that if we were to write a book of the bible about the current American church "acts" would be far from the title choice. It would be more like "studies" or "words"

I think there is benefit to reading the bible it isn't like I'm against it. But I feel bored when it comes to the ratio of talk vs act.

I think Sunday service should be visiting the imprisoned
The homeless
The widow
the orphan
the atheist
the sick
the lonely

The gospel should be preached not examined and autopsied

And I have my doubts about prayer,

When You walked the earth You couldn't resist healing anyone who begged, who approached, who asked. They on Your way out You said we would be able to do above and beyond what You have done. It's been 2000 years with the Holy Spirit and I don't see instant miraculous answers as often as it was when You put on skin.

I guess it's frustrating. Why don't You? You know You can. Is it America? Does it happen elsewhere I'm just not there?

I don't know, help me with my faith so that I may pray earnestly!

I'm only 25 and I'm already bored with the Sunday routine, I need some life breathed into this faith. I need some "Acts" to go with this faith.

Why aren't we nonviolently protesting for things?
Child slavery to be abolish
Human trafficking to be eliminated
Hunger to be eradicated
Clean drinking water for everyone
American prison reform
...to name a few

I want my life to come alive!
I want my faith to move to acts!
I want a community, a body of Christ, that cares
I want a Kingdom that pushes back
I want light to enter darkness

That's what I pray for Jesus, I pray that Your church would wake up, myself included!


Sigur Rós - Ekki múkk