12/29/12

NOOMA Store | 016

Jesus gets angry

Jesus identifies himself is an injustice, something larger than himself.

Jesus anger increases the peace in the world. It leads to this deed that makes things better.

Does my anger make the world a better place?

The more and more I read, I watch documentaries, I see the world, the more I feel the void between the kingdom of God and what we on Earth settle for.

Ain't no reason things are this way. It's how it's always been and they intend to stay. I can't explain why we live this way but we do it everyday.

I watch this video and I think about God's original plan for our emotions. God is emotional. Emotions are good they are motivating. They are godly. But if abused they can be hellish.

Anger used selfishly is sin and destruction to both me and the people around me.
Anger used selflessly is healing and heavenly.

The more I read "no impact man" the more I see how badly we are messing up the original plan.

We wonder why we feel so empty in our lives its because we've outsourced living to machines.
Heating our house, there is a machine for that
Washing our dishes, there is a machine for that
Washing our clothes, there is a machine for that
Interacting with friends, there is a machine for that
Gathering food, there is a machine for that
Cleaning our homes, there is a machine for that
Traveling to places, there is a machine for that
Every part of my live has been taken from me and done by a machine. But life isn't easier, it isn't more enjoyable in fact now it is filled with reality tv, or boredom. And the price that I pay for these machines besides the actual bills they cost is the wonderful creation God has for me to explore and enjoy.

Have you ever seen a dog concerned that its life just isn't going anywhere?
A cat reflecting?
A horse not feeling centered?
Animals have a physical body but no spirit.
-Sex God Chapter Three

Part of having a physical body is doing physical things!

What if I planted, watered, and picked every meal that I then prepared and fed to my friends and family?
What if I gathered, sewed, and created every piece of clothing I wore?
What if I chopped, built, and dwell in a structure I created?

Would I feel more satisfied with my life? Would I spend so much time wondering about the meaning of life or the point of it all if instead I had things that needed to get done or I wouldn't survive?

Would there be such a difference between financial classes?

What if money didn't exist or better yet lost it's illusion of value?

The more I watch documentaries like "Food Inc." and "Forks over Knives" the more I see again the way we've warped the original plan.

Is cancer a curse from God or a curse from ourselves? Is diabetes a natural part of life or is it another cost of the "cheap" lifestyle we've created for ourselves?

Are these natural disasters signs of "the end times" or are they results from the "convenient" lives we live?

Are Escherichia col, Salmonella, and other foodborne illnesses facts of life or the price we pay for the way we redesign the order of the planet?

Are pills a benefit of progress or a patch for an enormous hole we ourselves have created?

God's laws are good. The planet works in a certain order, a harmony. We can either break our backs fighting against nature in order to "improve" our lives; or we can learn to live with nature taking what the planet has to offer and now what we want.

Sex (I assume) is a very good thing. However in the wrong context and out of the order and harmony of the laws God has set for us and the planet it can be a very bad thing.

Are STDs God's way of punishing us for sinning? Or Are they one of the many reasons God demands we only share ourselves with our spouses?

Sex gives a part of yourself to another person. God doesn't want me to chip piece after piece to many people. Instead in order to fully enjoy the design of the life He has for us it is better and for our own good that we only give ourselves to one person until death.

Emotion,
Work,
Food,
Sex

All of these things are gifts from God.
They can also be curses from humans.

Jesus wants us to be free. The only way to true freedom and harmony is slavery to Messiah. It doesn't make sense to the kingdom of man but the kingdom of man is a broken, painful one. The kingdom of God is a loving peaceful kingdom that demands freedom and equality to all.

Abba, thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven.

Help me live in harmony with creation, with Your order.

12/27/12

Why are you more concerned with where you're going than where you are?
Why are you more concerned with what you're going to do than what you're doing?
Why aren't you paying attention to how you live your life right this very moment?
Why are you wasting this moment?
Why, indeed, are you wasting your life?
-Colin Beavan

I have spent this past week in Wauseon. I've found that I lack serious discipline. As soon as I am removed from the schmachelor pad my morning time with you is GONE! My prayer time, my thoughts and mind turning to You...gone.

I've been thinking about when Israel was taken from the promised land, out of their element, out of their routine. True discipline and pursuit of You doesn't depend on location, time, or feelings. I begin to see how fragile my faith is, how much I depend on Your grace for 100% of my salvation.

I keep thinking about once I get back to Columbus.
Once I get to this point or this place or this stage in life.
But that is wasting the gift You have given me of today!

Why do I always do this? No matter how hard I try to not worry about tomorrow I find myself tossing today away and looking ahead. I'm sorry I'm squandering Your gift of the present.

Where I am is the most important place.
What I am doing is the most important task.
This moment is all I have.

You are everywhere and I need You where ever I go.

I'm sorry I've gotten completely out of orbit. I am like a wild dog let off it's leash. I'd like to deceive myself otherwise but it isn't reality.

The reality, the truth of the matter is I am a sinner. I am broken. I turn so quickly from You.

Forgive me Jesus for returning to my vomit, for quitting the race and not enduring. Teach me patience. Teach me character. Teach me self control. Teach me wisdom. Teach me freedom.

I hate being a hypocrite but I can't help realizing how helpless I am about it.

Wash my shame, guilt, and sin from me Please Jesus, wash my feet again. Make me worthy to stand before Abba.

Carolina Tide - John Mark Mcmillan

12/24/12

Well, anyway, I looked up and saw the very last thing I expected: a huge lion coming slowly toward me. And one queer thing was that there was no moon last night, but there was moonlight where the lion was. So it came nearer and nearer. I was terribly afraid of it. You may think that, being a dragon, I could have knocked any lion out easily enough. But it wasn't that kind of fear. I wasn't afraid of it eating me, I was just afraid of it-if you can understand. Well, it came close up to me and looked straight into my eyes. And I shut my eyes tight. But that wasn't any good because it told me to follow it.

And I knew I'd have to do what it told me, so I got up and followed it. And it led me a long way into the mountains. And there was always this moonlight over and round the lion wherever we went. So at last we came to the top of the mountain I'd never seen before and on the top of this mountain there was a garden-trees and fruit and everything. In the middle of it there was a well. I knew it was a well because you could see the water bubbling up from the bottom of it: but it was a lot bigger than most wells-like a very big, round bath with marble steps going down into it. The water was as clear as anything and I thought if I could get in there and bathe it would ease the pain in my leg. But the lion told me I must undress first.
I was just going to say that I couldn't undress because I hadn't any clothes on when I suddenly thought that dragons are snaky sort of things and snakes can cast their skins. Oh, of course, thought I, that's what the lion means. So I started scratching myself and my scales began coming off all over the place. And then I scratched a little deeper and, instead of just scales coming off here and there, my whole skin started peeling off beautifully, like it does after an illness, or as if I was a banana. In a minute or two I just stepped out of it. I could see it lying there beside me, looking rather nasty. It was a most lovely feeling. So I started to go down into the well for my bathe.

But just as I was going to put my feet into the water I looked down and saw that they were all hard and rough and wrinkled and scaly just as they had been before. Oh, that's all right, said I, it only means I have another smaller suit on underneath the first one, and I'll have to get out of it too. So I scratched and tore again and this underskin peeled off beautifully and out I stepped and left it lying beside the other one and went down to the well for my bathe.
Well, exactly the same thing happened again. And I thought to myself, oh dear, how ever many skins have I got to take off? For I was longing to bathe my leg. So I scratched away for the third time and got off a third skin, just like the two others, and stepped out of it. But as soon as I looked at myself in the water I knew it had been no good.

Then the lion said "You will have to let me undress you" I was afraid of his claws, I can tell you, but I was pretty nearly desperate now. So I just lay flat down on my back to let him do it. The very first tear he made was so deep that I thought it had gone right into my heart. And when he began pulling the skin off, it hurt worse than anything I've ever felt. The only thing that made me able to bear it was just the pleasure of feeling the stuff peel off. You know-if you've ever picked the scab of a sore place. It hurts like billy-oh but it is such fun to see it coming away. Well, he peeled the beastly stuff right off-just as I thought I'd done it myself the other three times, only they hadn't hurt-and there it was lying on the grass: only ever so much thicker, and darker, and more knobbly-looking than the others had been.
And there was I as smooth and soft as a peeled switch and smaller than I had been. Then he caught hold of me-I didn't like that much for I was very tender underneath now that I'd no skin on-and thew me into the water. It smarted like anything but only for a moment. After that it became perfectly delicious and as soon as I started swimming and splashing I found that all the pain had gone from my arm. And then I'd saw why. I'd turned into a boy again.

After a bit the lion took me out and dressed me in new clothes.

-The Voyage of the Dawn Treader Chapter 7



I've been trying to remove my dragon skin sin by my own strength but only You can peel back the sin. Only You can wash me clean.

I doubt You were born anywhere near December 25th but that isn't the point of Christmas. It isn't about being archaeologically correct, although me and the western world would like to be. The point is You came to save us. You clothed yourself in our skin, You came to our level and You washed our sins and healed our sick.

It's crazy to think You were only 8 years older than I am now when You gave up Your life for us. 33, That isn't very old.

Jesus I love who You are. I know I say this all the time but my first idea of God was a harsh distant Father demanding too much and never satisfied with me. But the more I read Your heart. The more I seek, and knock, The more I see that You are love!

Through and through You are love. You love Your children, all of them. The blind, the greedy, the lost, the homeless, the proud, the forgotten, the ugly, the orphan. You seriously love them. You seriously love us.

Even when we've been dragons You still want to see Your children well. You still want to help us remove the sin and wash us clean. Even if we try to do it without You. Your patience, Your grace, Your love. It's too much, but it's who You are.

I find myself beside Peter asking You to wash my whole body. But You have already made us clean we need only our feet washed.

Sitting back and allowing the creator of the universe to wash my feet takes some serious humility and acceptance of grace.

Thank You for Christmas, whenever it was and whatever others call it. Thank You for willingly giving up Your life so that we may have life.

12/22/12

NOOMA You | 015

Today is Brock's wedding. This is my eighth and final wedding for 2012. The year of the weddings is coming to a close.

The Kingdom of Heaven.
It is about serving not ruling.

Who's kingdom do you find more compelling?

Church. This group of people who by their compassion their generosity the grace that they extend to others, you find yourself believing when you're around them that God hasn't given up on the world. That's the gospel.

God wants to put it all back together.

God accepts us just the way we are, but loves us way to much to let us stay that way.

You are the good news, You are the gospel.

I hope that Your love shines through me. I hope I haven't lost my saltiness. Spirit make me salty, let me bring flavor and truth.

12/18/12

"Aslan," said Lucy, "you're bigger."
"That is because you are older, little one," answered he.
"Not because you are?"
"I am not. But every year you grow, you will find me bigger."
-Prince Caspian Chapter 10

God You are big,
You are good

The more and more I grow with You each year the more and more I begin to uncover how big You are.

What am I suppose to do? I always feel so lost, and I never seem to hear Your voice about things I would really like to have answered.

I've heard Christians say God answers prayers in three ways:
Yes
No
Wait
Is that true? In the bible I see You answering prayers in all kinds of ways. Maybe that's just American Christianity.

If that is the case then I seem to be getting all the Nos and Waits.

Maybe my sin is too great, that You won't or can't speak to me?

That never seemed to stop You when You loved the hookers and the tax collectors.

Maybe I have my answer I just don't see it because I don't like it.
Maybe You don't care what I do. Maybe no matter what it'll be great.

Even so, I'd like some confirming support from my Abba.

I don't want to wait forever when You don't care what I choose.
I don't want to act when You had something better if only I waited.

God I know You are big, You see the big picture, You see all time, You are big.
And I know You are good, You want good for me, You know how to give good gifts.

So what do You want me to do? Should I wait, or should I carry on?
If You want me to wait, how long will it be?
If You want me to carry on, What's the next step?

I need more grace to wash my sin, and I need more Spirit to guide my steps.

I hear these stories about other Christians praying and asking for confirmation and pastors randomly walking up to them and completely confirming their prayers. But how many times have I deceived myself with false confirmation? Or how many times have people spoke into my life only to have the door shut?

How do I know when something is from You and when it is from man?

Maybe we'll never know for sure? Maybe everything is from You? You certainly are big enough. If everything is from You then I ask for wisdom to understand how to interpret everything no through my own lens but how You planned it.

Am I over thinking this? Did Abraham ever ask questions like this? Did the first Adam question his call, or purpose?

Maybe the true sign of a relationship with You is complete contempt.
If that's the case I'm not doing a good job. I worry about this sort of thing often.

As I grow weary and impatient, You grow bigger and bigger in my perspective.

What the heck am I suppose to do? Wait, or carry on?

12/15/12

NOOMA Breathe | 014


Wow, Good stuff.

12/12/12

The least the lost the lepers


I miss my brothers and sisters in Zambia.

God is an artist.

Your heart is so full that it must express itself.

We as humans can only express ourselves within the world You have created for us to enjoy.

But You, Abba, are not bound by limitations. When You express Yourself is comes in the form of stars, sunrises, trees, flowers, elephants, whales, ants, mountains, beaches, love and most beautifully, humans.

As You created Your piece of art as You put the finishing touches on it You looked at humans and You said very good.

As I look at my own heart and the hearts of my brothers and sisters I see the many layers of what being made in Your image is all about.

Humans must also express themselves.

Through poems, songs, paintings, sculptures, carpentry, stories, and countless other ways. We've learned to express ourselves with everything You've given us on this Earth even down to using our own bodies to dance and move in an expression.

But the interesting thing to me is why? Why do I feel the need to express myself? More importantly why do I express myself even without an audience?

I sing to myself in the car, I've written in hopes that no one would ever read, I've gotten dressed on a day that I stayed inside. We must express ourselves.

Why do people shout in concerts or sports events? Can their voice be heard? But they must still voice it.

I think You've given us the desire to express ourselves alongside a completely free will so that love may be expressed.

Love cannot be forced, if it is then it becomes self defeating thus it isn't love.

So in the purest form of the expression of love and risk, You let us choose.

Now the question becomes how will I express myself?

God must express love by creating the art of humans. God is love and love loves love.

But love is free, it has to be or else it is no longer love.

so amazingly, You've breathed in us the breath of life and with it the freedom to choose.

This is why you desire to be desired. I've seen this part of your heart most commonly in women. I've heard women say "I want to you to (fill in the blank)" to which a man will reply "ok I will do that" to which the woman will always reply "No I don't want you to do it because I told you to, I want you to do it because you want to."

And thus the exact portion of the image of God in a woman is revealed.

As a man I flip through the bible with the lens "Ok God what does it take to make it in to Heaven? just tell me what I need to do and I will obey"

And time and time again You always respond with "No I don't want you to obey because I told you to, I want you to obey because you want me."

I've seen this in my own life, If I could force someone to love me would I do it? or if the woman I loved told me to simply do and don't do these things and she will be with me by default would I even want that?

I want a woman who wants me. I want a woman who can look me in the eyes and say "I've seen my options, I know I can choose any man I please, but that's exactly what I've done and I choose you"

I think that is why rape is a crime committed mostly by men. Women have the side of God's heart that wants to be captivating. While men have the task oriented part.

Thus sex becomes more of a task to accomplish more than an expression of free will and unconditional love.

Rape is the complete perversion of love. It is the opposite of selfless free will.

If God forced all humans to love Him He would essentially be spiritually raping us. He would get what He wants and at the exact same time get nothing of what He wants.

God wants all of His children, He wants them all to love him as much as He loves them. He went 100% of the way by paying for their sins on order to be with them. But ultimately if God truly is love and love is not self seeking, then all He can do is give his children their inheritance when they ask and stand by the road waiting for his prodigal children.

How painful it must feel to be God. I've loved someone with my tiny human heart only for them to freely not choose me and that feeling in the pit of my stomach, that loss of appetite, those sleepless nights, making every attempt to win them back, and fight for them.

It's enough to make me question why would God even create humans? It most be so painful when even one sheep strays from the flock. But without the choice, without free will, there can be no love.

God must express love by creating the art of humans. God is love and love loves love.

So He took the risk and wrote His love letter to His bride in the bible. But He didn't stop there He showed up to his brides house, served her with every ounce of energy his limited human body could then He freely died for her. But He didn't stop there He gave her His Holy Spirit to be with her always.

But God cannot force love. He wants us to want Him. I can't imagine how terribly Your heart breaks Abba when the creation You love so limitless don't desire You in return.

Jesus, help me desire You. Help me express my love for you freely with the environment You've placed me in with the body You've placed me in.

I want to shout, dance, paint, write, think, tell, sing, work, hear, taste, see, feel, smell, express how much I love You. No matter the circumstance or my lot in life I want a love towards You as sturdy as the rock which You are to me.

I want to walk with God.

Passion Pit - Take a Walk

12/08/12

NOOMA Rich | 013

mitzvot - refers to a moral deed performed as a religious duty. As such, the term mitzvah has also come to express an act of human kindness.

Tiny banal acts of human kindness are what bringing the Kingdom of Heaven on Earth is all about.

It's about a Samaritan man walking down the street and seeing someone in need.
It's about having two shirts and seeing someone without and giving one.
It's about the little things. It's about having God's eyes and trying with every blessing we've been given to dish out mitzvot every chance we get.

Jesus doesn't ask us to start some non-profit. Jesus doesn't ask us to become the founder of (fill in the blank) ministries. Jesus doesn't ask us to write some magnificent book or solve a problem globally.

The Kingdom is all about the banal. Becoming ordinary radicals.

Bringing the Kingdom isn't just for the wealthy, or the educated. In fact I'd say it is for the poor and the uneducated. They are the ones who are more available to stop on the side of the road and help a stranger.

If we get to important, too busy, we become worthless in performing banal mitzvots.

The Kingdom is about treating people the way you'd like to be treated. It's about treating every stranger as if they were your closest sibling,

because they are.

12/02/12

Dear 26 year old Adam,

I've just turned 25. A quarter of a century. My mid twenties. As my 24th year comes to a close and my 25th begins I can't believe how much has changed since I turned 24.

Things I'm doing now:
I'm co leading Good Fellas with Matt. I'm helping out at Better Way on Friday nights. I just finished a quarter of children's ministry with 4 year old kids. I lead a bible study at the juvenile prison every third Thursday of the month. I'm in the teaching rotation for the Monday night service at the pantry. I started my own small group discipleship program on Wednesday nights at the pantry. I'm still doing landscaping for Scott although I'm not sure how many more weeks we have left. I'm completely single without a future wife anywhere near my radar. I'm living with Brian in the Schmachelor pad. I'm working out at Soar four times a week. Tyler got married this September. In fact I went to six wedding this year with Brock's still to come in 20 days. I'm trying to make every purchase with human rights in mind. Fair trade clothes, food, toiletries, trying to shop local every chance I get. I think that's pretty much every important thing I'm doing now that I might forget about in the future.

Things I hope you're doing
I really, really, really hope you are in Tanzania right now. I hope you've spent your entire 25th year in Africa actually. If not then I hope you got hooked up with a WWOOF and have enjoyed working God's earth and soil. If not that then I hope you got a job with the Mid Ohio Food Bank, Franklinton Gardens, or a men's shelter. I hope you spent the summer living in your car down town.

Things I've learned since turning 24
2012 has been a massively educational year for me. It's funny because it's one of the few years of my life I've spent outside of school. I've grown leaps and bounds in my relationship with God. My point of view on God's heart and what the Kingdom on earth should look like has been drastically changing and broadening each month! This was also the year that Whitney got married. God taught me a lot about failure, grief, and just how good They really truly honestly are. I've learned to pick my fights. Which I should stand firm on and which I should turn the other cheek to. I've learned that a low price to me is at the expense of a high price to my brothers and sisters around the world. I've learned that God can take brokenness aside and make it beautiful. In fact I've learned that He loves to do it. I've learned that God can and will redeem! And He can and will set captives free! I've learned what love is and how much I don't understand about it. I've learned that love is about free will on both sides. I've learned how difficult forgiveness can be. I've learned forgiveness is the path to freedom. I've learned that life isn't about getting a well paid job and a pretty wife. I've learned that planning and looking forward to tomorrow costs me today. I've learned I hate money. I've learned you can spend your whole life working for something just to have it taken away. I've learned that we don't get all the answers and we don't get to understand why things happen. I've learned to be content with my lot.

1987 Born
1988 00
1989 01
1990 02
1991 03
1992 04
1993 05
1994 06 Started Grade School
1995 07
1996 08
1997 09
1998 10
1999 11
2000 12
2001 13
2002 14
2003 15
2004 16
2005 17
2006 18 Graduated High School
2007 19
2008 20
2009 21
2010 22 Graduated College
2011 23
2012 24

12/01/12

NOOMA Matthew | 012

For the tawny face was bent down near his own and (wonder of wonders) great shining tears stood in the Lion's eyes. They were such big, bright tears compared with Digory's own that for a moment he felt as if the Lion must really be sorrier about his Mother than he was himself.
-The Magician's Nephew, Chapter 12

God sits shiva with us.

I've never lost a sibling, a grandparent, a parent, a cousin, an aunt, an uncle, a close friend. I haven't experienced the grief of losing a loved one to dead.

The closest time I've ever had was almost a year ago. And during that time I experienced sitting shiva.

Life is not about what we don't have, what we've lost. It's about what we do have.

Death is a strange part of life. Once someone is dead (with the exception of miracles) they are not coming back. To have someone here one second and gone the next. All the things left undone. All the memories and experiences. Death is so final. Or at least it seems that way on this Earth.

I really love who You are God. I love Your love. I love the way You sit with us during grief. I love the way You let us wrestle. And at the end of the day I love Your grace. As You allow me to wrestling, sin, fail, You have new mercies for me everyday.

No matter what happens in this life, You will restore. We shall overcome.

You have allowed me to suffer much hardship,
but you will restore me to life again
and lift me up from the depths of the earth.
You will restore me to even greater honor
and comfort me once again.
-Psalm 71