I should be doing homework.
I never write on here anymore.
I wish I did.
often.
Nights have been hard for me lately.
I can't stop thinking about death.
Every morning I wake up and I try to imagine what it would be like to not.
What was it like to be asleep.
Did I feel like I was missing out?
Did I miss those I love?
Did I exist?
I can't stop thinking about God.
This struggle within me. How can anyone with any certainty know what's next?
The bible teaches divorce is bad, but I have seen how good it can be.
The bible teaches homosexuality is bad, but I have seen beautiful love there.
The bible teaches not to get drunk, but I have seen community in the party.
The bible teaches a man is the head, but I have seen such leadership from women.
My tiny little lens. It's all I have, my speck of experience. What do I know? What can I know? My brain thinks with such authority within me. I convince myself I am so wise. My brain drawling conclusions, making decisions, ha what does my brain know?
What happens when we die?
What is all of this? Life?
Are you telling me that this tiny blue planet swinging around the sun in the middle of an expanding nothing just happened thanks to gravity and time?
This is it? Every word, every brush mark, every kiss, all of this when we end it ends?
Why do we do what we do?
Why love if they will die?
Why build if it will fall?
Why learn when I will forget?
If this is it then why?
What are we doing?
What can we do? What makes life worthwhile if life is all that we have?
This can't be. I can't accept this.
There is more, something. There must be. We are more than dust. There is something different about us. We bare an image. The image. This is what's false. This, not after, now. This life must be the illusion.
doubt, faith, how tiresome.
I miss you God.
Kodaline - High Hopes
I never write on here anymore.
I wish I did.
often.
Nights have been hard for me lately.
I can't stop thinking about death.
Every morning I wake up and I try to imagine what it would be like to not.
What was it like to be asleep.
Did I feel like I was missing out?
Did I miss those I love?
Did I exist?
I can't stop thinking about God.
This struggle within me. How can anyone with any certainty know what's next?
The bible teaches divorce is bad, but I have seen how good it can be.
The bible teaches homosexuality is bad, but I have seen beautiful love there.
The bible teaches not to get drunk, but I have seen community in the party.
The bible teaches a man is the head, but I have seen such leadership from women.
My tiny little lens. It's all I have, my speck of experience. What do I know? What can I know? My brain thinks with such authority within me. I convince myself I am so wise. My brain drawling conclusions, making decisions, ha what does my brain know?
What happens when we die?
What is all of this? Life?
Are you telling me that this tiny blue planet swinging around the sun in the middle of an expanding nothing just happened thanks to gravity and time?
This is it? Every word, every brush mark, every kiss, all of this when we end it ends?
Why do we do what we do?
Why love if they will die?
Why build if it will fall?
Why learn when I will forget?
If this is it then why?
What are we doing?
What can we do? What makes life worthwhile if life is all that we have?
This can't be. I can't accept this.
There is more, something. There must be. We are more than dust. There is something different about us. We bare an image. The image. This is what's false. This, not after, now. This life must be the illusion.
doubt, faith, how tiresome.
I miss you God.
Kodaline - High Hopes