Sunday, February 26, 2017

02/26/17

Applying for teaching jobs is exhausting. It has been interesting answering these open response questions. I wanted to keep these answers somewhere so when I am in my 15th year teaching I can look back on them and see how much my ideas and goals of teaching has changed. Even as I was answering these questions I realized to myself how much my philosophy and goals for teaching have changed. It's strange how we grow and chance as we experience and live through more. How awful would it be if we were stagnant beings if we were unable to be shaped by our experiences and environment, the people around us. Who we were is not who we are and who we are is not who we will become. What a tragedy it would be to remain the same to never learn never grow. They say with age comes wisdom but it isn't mere passage of time that bestows wisdom. As a kid I use to think adults thought they were better than us simply because they were older. Now I see with age comes wisdom through experience. These adults have had more practice on the planet. They have met more people, they have tried more things, and most importantly, they have failed many, many more times. The sun, it does not cause us to grow, it is the rain that will strengthen your soul, it will make you whole.

Wisdom is the fruit bearing from the seeds of mistakes grown in the rain.

"What are your three most important reasons for wanting to be a teacher?"

The most important reason I want to be a teacher is the children. Children are the future of our world and I’d like to put my time towards investing in them. I’d like to help the future generations cultivate a healthy positive attitude towards learning along with a safe and consistent environment in which to explore new concepts.

Along with the individual, another important reason I want to be a teacher is to contribute to the community around the school building. Teachers have the ability to be leaders and role models in communities. This gives the opportunity to lead by example volunteering at local events and getting to know the families of the students in the school. It’s important that education doesn’t stop at the walls of the building. I’d like to help the parents and guardians of the students express appreciation and value for education.

Lastly, the third most important reason is that teaching and working with students is a lot of fun. As the saying goes: "If you do what you love, you'll never work a day in your life.” Teaching certainly is a lot of work but that work is very fulfilling and enjoyable to me. I’ve had parents approach me and tell me they don’t know how I do it. I think that is a very positive sign because the work of planning and collecting data is something I enjoy along with the interactions and teaching with the students.

"How much do you want to know about your students in order to be most helpful to them?"

The more information a person has on a topic the more informed their decisions can be in life. This is why I think education is so valuable. Having said that I’d like to have as much information about my students as possible. This would help me to get a full picture of each student. I believe activating prior knowledge before each lesson is best practice. In order to achieve this and build upon their learning I need to know what they have already learned in previous school years. I’d also like to know what they have learned in their homelife.

"What three things do you most want to know about your students?"

The most important information I would like about each student is their cultural backgrounds. A student’s culture is paramount so that I could begin to shape the classroom environment to send the message of inclusivity and comfort.

Secondly, A student’s home life ties into this concept. The parent-teacher relationship is just as important as the student-teacher relationship. Who knows a child better than their own parent? As I mentioned earlier, education doesn’t end within the building’s walls. This is why taking the time to build a relationship with the families and finding the best medium for open communication is important.

Finally, I’d like to know each individual student’s interests. Having all of this information would help me in both designing the classroom and the lesson planning. I believe it is very important to anchor the learning to the individual student’s interests in order to give value to the learning from the student’s perspective.

"What do you need to know in order to begin your lesson planning for a class?"

In order to effectively lesson plan for a class I need to know a lot of information. First I need to know the learner profile. The lesson needs to be within each student’s range of comprehension. Next I need to know the objective of the lesson. A lesson must be goal oriented with a clear measureable result. Prior learning is another factor. What has the class already learned how do I best activate that knowledge and build upon it. Differentiation, not only for the students on the lower end of the classroom but also including the higher students in order to keep the entire class challenged and engaged. Lastly, I need to know how best to measure the learners’ grasp of the new content. Which form of assessment would accurately portray the student’s comprehension?

"What four key components do you believe you must include in your plan?"

The first component I must include in the plan is the academic content standard. Why am I teaching this lesson to the classroom?

The second component I must include is the student’s interest. How can I frame this learning to connect with the personal value code of the student? If I can align the lesson with the student’s dream career or a desired skill then the student’s attention will not be an issue.

Third component is assessment. I need to be able to measure the success of my lesson. Did the students reach my state standard content goal?

Finally and most important reflection. Professional development is something that should continue throughout a person’s entire teaching career. Carving out time at the end of the day to reflect on a lesson is important. What did I do well that I want to keep for next year and what do I need to change to make the lesson more effective next year?

"When you think about your students, in what major ways do you most want to influence their lives?"

As an educator I wouldn’t want to influence a student’s life towards any specific personal agenda I may hold either culturally or politically. I would like each of my students to leave my class equipped with the understanding and value of being educated and informed. I’d like to influence their lives by giving them the beginning scaffolding and tools to question and think for themselves. My hope is that each class I teach will leave feeling encouraged and empowered. I want them to feel they can trust me and come to me with questions and also not be afraid to try. Failure isn’t the worst thing that could happen to them, rather never attempting.

"What do you find to be the most effective ways to assess student learning?"

I think the most effective ways to assess student learning is from a whole picture perspective. I think formative and summative assessments certainly have their place in data collection but I also wouldn’t want to exclude portfolios and the individual student as a person. Sometimes focusing on assessment information can take the humanity out of the child. It’s important to take into account the grit and work ethic of the student and most importantly the individual student growth. The child may not be performing well according to a norm-reference assessment but could have made major gains in performance growth individually. All of this to say I think the most effective ways to assess student learning varies greatly on the individual student.

I'm so nervous about interviewing and landing a contract. I hope my answers are what schools are looking for in a teacher.

Turning Page - Sleeping At Last

Wednesday, February 22, 2017

02/22/17


Reminder of how much things change.

July to February it's strange to think about.
July I found and messaged a stranger for a Christmas gift for someone I will now never see or talk to again.
I wonder who I will be this July.
I wonder who I will be this Christmas.
I wonder if I will be alive, life is so rare.

February finds me missing a married woman.

I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly at first, and then all at once.

I'm a mess. I'm sitting here hoping and waiting for a text from someone who loves and lives with another man. Was it even real or was it all in my head? I miss her drunk snaps, I miss our late night existential talks. I miss hearing about the job she hates and her time in Europe.
c'est la vie

Jason Mraz - A World With You

Sunday, February 19, 2017

02/19/17

Lunch ends we walk downstairs to collect the class the usual loud and rowdy attitudes afterwards as they get in the line. We before we start to return to the classroom one of the students steps out of the line, one of my favorite kids to talk to, I tell him to settle down and get back in line as the line goes up the steps and near the balcony he threatens to throw a student, one of my other favorites, over the railing. The mentor teacher stops the line and tells him he will not be throwing anyone over the railing. The line continues until finally he steps out of line turns around and gets face to face with the other student the two students noses are touching

The mentor teacher steps in to pull him away they start to shove each other and eventually he raises his hand and connects with the other child's face. I step in to separate the other child as the mentor teacher walks him down the stairs to the office. The other student slips past me and starts jawing off to the first much larger other kid as he is following behind eventually I stick my arm up in front of him and yell his name. He halts dead in his tracks against my arm and the wall. I knew he wouldn't try anything with me, he likes me, and I like him...he is really good hearted, the other child is too...

"Just breath kid" I tell him exactly as I do to the preschoolers at the center. His huffing and I remember what it felt like to get worked up like that as a child to feel the rage. I remember getting in fights under the bleachers during the basketball games. I stand there with him silently. I can't believe my eyes two eight year olds acting like they are 18. No more than an hour ago had I witnessed both of them laughing about some immature kid joke now they are threatening to shoot each other or throw one over a second story railing.

My first fight I had to break up and they are only little third graders, well one of them was on his second year of third grade...But still. I stood there for a while as he looked towards the floor and took deep breaths. He had completely shut down. I asked if he wanted to talk, I asked what the other student did to make him so upset but none of it worked, He was frozen, so I stood there with him, it's all I could do. Finally my mentor teacher came up the stairs told me to head back to the classroom. I didn't want to. I wanted to stay and see if he would talk to me or if I could help him calm down. I listened and turned back.

I want my own classroom. I want to create a learning environment where anger and aggression is opening addressed and expressed in healthy and productive ways. I want to let these kinds of children know they are valued and welcomed. I want them to know there are other ways. My heart feels heavy when I think about these kids. I want to build a relationship of trust and consistency I want to offer strict rules with room for student expression.

This kind of thing makes me so sad, I feel helpless and small.
Times like this I have to remind myself all I can do is be present, reliable, and receptive

I must always remember my locus of control.
Do everything I can within it and the rest, there is always hope.

Oh Wonder - Without You

Tuesday, February 14, 2017

02/14/17

Do you think of me when you look to the sea?
I know it's hard to grow when you're pushed to your knees.
I know our time will pass, your love it will last.
Darling, we will never break.



"I do need space though...I promised Josh that I would message him instead of you every time I had the urge to tell you something over him...I guess that's working on my marriage or something. But anyway we can't talk for real this time...and Josh checks my phone everyday anyway.
Find someone amazing with no baggage. I'll be alright.
Continue being the amazing human that you are
Also...I have to text you to tell you we can't talk anymore so Josh can read it. I just wanted to be honest with you on here but if you can respond to that text that would be awesome.
If you ever need anything don't hesitate to reach out...I hope I get my life figured out
You are amazing
I'm super sad :(
I don't want to be married anymore but I feel stuck. So that's my life. :(
But I'll stop talking now..."

s p a c e

s i l e n c e

I miss her and I don't know what to do.
There is nothing I can do.

I feel so strange. It feels like a break up but we never dated. We never kissed. But it hits me in my gut and it shows all the symptoms of a break up within me.

again I am faced with this confusing cross road in my life
Do I wait like the loyal Sagittarius I am for the chance to be with a married woman I value and feel something towards?
Do I move on and risk the chance of missing each other?
I feel dumb for catching feelings in the first place.
It's over but was it even anything?

Why do I do this?
What was I thinking even talking to a married woman?
I knew this would happen didn't I? I had to.
Kept the walls up for months but eventually I opened up showed her who I am and it only got worse
Meeting for coffee was even more dangerous

July 9th 2016
186 days when I first met her until we got coffee.
I can't manage to hold consistent interest or text conversations with friends or other women but when I tried to shut her out and avoid deep conversations we still found a way to message back and forth for over six months. And now I haven't heard from her in almost a month.

I knew the whole time too, I told her I didn't want to get coffee I deflected vulnerable questions for months.

But to love is to risk and the risk must come first for any chance of love.
I risked, and it hurts.

s p a c e

that's what I get for taking the risk
but it's what we all must do for love
Over and over we are asked the question what will we do
We must get up, dust off, and risk again
we must

The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral,
begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy.
Instead of diminishing evil, it multiplies it.
Through violence you may murder the liar,
but you cannot murder the lie, nor establish the truth.
Through violence you may murder the hater,
but you do not murder hate.
In fact, violence merely increases hate.
So it goes.
Returning violence for violence multiplies violence,
adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars.
Darkness cannot drive out darkness:
only light can do that.
Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.
-Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

True strength is found in restraint. When hurt, when knocked down, we must not react with hurt, with a closing or a putting up of walls.
We must remain vulnerable, we must remain loving.

To live is to love.

Where there is love there is life.
― Mahatma Gandhi

We never had the chance at a real goodbye...
I guess we never had a chance at a real anything
I'm stuck here all hung up and jealous but I feel all mixed up and confused because it wasn't anything in the first place.

Each time my hands mechanically find their way to her insta it messes me up.
I guess I'm glad she got things worked out with him.
She needed that coffee conversation to grip reality.
She kept stressing that someone was going to get hurt.
She was right.

I do miss talking to her.
I feel like such a sucker.
get up, dust off, risk again.

Valentine's Day 2017

Seafret ft. Rosie Carney - To the Sea

Sunday, February 5, 2017

02/05/17

2016 was the warmest year on record since 1880.
It beat the previous record held by 2015.
which beat the previous record held by 2014.

In fact 9 of the top 12 warmest years on record are in the 21st century
the other year being 1998.

Smart boards in every classroom
Chromebooks on every desk
lights on in empty skyscrapers
more intersections putting in stop lights
smart phones in every hand
with a lap top on every lap
with the TV on in every living room
all connected to wifi
all connected to servers
all using energy

I try to be a hopeful man, but as this January has pasted and February starts up
these week long stretches of 60° days makes me feel uncomfortable

I want to look out my window in the winter and see inches upon inches of snow covering the Ohio ground for weeks and sometimes months in a row, but instead I wake up and wonder if I should even bother with the coat since a long sleeve shirt or a sweater will suffice.

2017 doesn't seem to be off to a calming start, in fact it looks like it's on it's way to beating the record held by the previous year.

I'm nervous because it seems like we keep finding ways to use energy for very simple tasks.

Writing on a dry erase board seemed to work fine when I was in school but now every class is using power.

I've seen more and more Overhead traffic Smart Signs that give drivers and estimated time of arrival to intersecting highways, but all of us are already using the energy from our smart phones to give us an estimated arrival time to our destinations.

People once used manual tools to do work around their homes
Garden shears turned to hedge trimmers
screwdrivers turned to cordless power drill

We all use them, we all own them and we consume energy so simply so senselessly that we can hardly see the connection between our power consumption and the record breaking annual climates

There use to be a time when people would pile on layers of clothes and blankets during the winter, how everyone has the heat cranked high not only that but every vacant commercial building has furnace after furnace working ceaselessly through the night.

But it isn't only the winter months, once the temperature finally rises and you think we would give relief to our power consumption we go the other way, now rather than strip off layers and walk our homes barefoot and shirtless we have the air conditioner set down low.

The more I look around my life the more I see we have found a way to put energy use into everything we encounter and we do it in the name of "smart" but at what cost?

Certainly not financial, I think that is the biggest problem it is so cheap to leave the lights on in the buildings, it costs nearly nothing (financially) for the state to install smart signs all across the roads.

But the reality of it seems to become more and more nervously obvious to me, there is a very very heavy price we are paying for these worthless and sometimes pointless "smart" energy consuming devices.

I wish we could see that the low cost for energy (financially) is a high cost environmentally.

I keep thinking of us as a planet like a man who would sell his own house in order to buy an enormous TV.

What good are any of our modern conveniences if they will one day destroy the only place we know to enjoy them?

What good is our state of the art amazing gigantic television if it costs us our only home?

We continue to mow down forests and ecosystems to make room for more mono culture farming techniques.

We already know these types of agriculture are unsustainable yet we push on.

We already know that genetic diversity is necessary it enhances food security and promotes the preservation of existing foods from disease and climate change.
We know we must continue to artificially input fertilizer on these fields causing run off and algae blooms, using more energy to create, transport, and apply on to these once rich bio diverse lands.

Yet we continue to push mono cultures.

We know it is only a matter of time before bananas become a thing of the past because there is no genetic diversity in the crop we are one disease away from the entire fruit being wiped and extinct from the planet.

I think we each have an obligation to both all living things on this rare planet and to the future generations of tomorrow. We must care for this rare beautiful live giving and sustaining planet.

To do this we must get a little bit colder in the winter by turning the furnace down.
We must get a little warmer in the summer by turning the air conditioner down.
We must turn off lights in rooms we are not occupying.
We must go back to manual tools both around the house and in the kitchen.
We need to start treating electronic devices as a luxury not a right.

If the entire world consumed energy the way America does this planet would already be gone.
It is only a matter of time before underdeveloped countries begin to gain access to energy.
We need to all share this luxury and use it wisely energy should be reserved for the hospitals and the elderly. The youth and the needy.

If we are able bodied to walk, we should take the stairs
If we are able bodied with hands, we should twist the screwdriver
I will do my best to do my part but this is so much bigger than me and it is so much more urgent than a slow movement

May we each sweat a little more so our planet can cool off.

in love with a ghost - we've never met but, can we have a coffee or something?