Do you think of me when you look to the sea?
I know it's hard to grow when you're pushed to your knees.
I know our time will pass, your love it will last.
Darling, we will never break.
"I do need space though...I promised Josh that I would message him instead of you every time I had the urge to tell you something over him...I guess that's working on my marriage or something. But anyway we can't talk for real this time...and Josh checks my phone everyday anyway.
Find someone amazing with no baggage. I'll be alright.
Continue being the amazing human that you are
Also...I have to text you to tell you we can't talk anymore so Josh can read it. I just wanted to be honest with you on here but if you can respond to that text that would be awesome.
If you ever need anything don't hesitate to reach out...I hope I get my life figured out
You are amazing
I'm super sad :(
I don't want to be married anymore but I feel stuck. So that's my life. :(
But I'll stop talking now..."
s p a c e
s i l e n c e
I miss her and I don't know what to do.
There is nothing I can do.
I feel so strange. It feels like a break up but we never dated. We never kissed. But it hits me in my gut and it shows all the symptoms of a break up within me.
again I am faced with this confusing cross road in my life
Do I wait like the loyal Sagittarius I am for the chance to be with a married woman I value and feel something towards?
Do I move on and risk the chance of missing each other?
I feel dumb for catching feelings in the first place.
It's over but was it even anything?
Why do I do this?
What was I thinking even talking to a married woman?
I knew this would happen didn't I? I had to.
Kept the walls up for months but eventually I opened up showed her who I am and it only got worse
Meeting for coffee was even more dangerous
July 9th 2016
186 days when I first met her until we got coffee.
I can't manage to hold consistent interest or text conversations with friends or other women but when I tried to shut her out and avoid deep conversations we still found a way to message back and forth for over six months. And now I haven't heard from her in almost a month.
I knew the whole time too, I told her I didn't want to get coffee I deflected vulnerable questions for months.
But to love is to risk and the risk must come first for any chance of love.
I risked, and it hurts.
s p a c e
that's what I get for taking the risk
but it's what we all must do for love
Over and over we are asked the question what will we do
We must get up, dust off, and risk again
we must
The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral,
begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy.
Instead of diminishing evil, it multiplies it.
Through violence you may murder the liar,
but you cannot murder the lie, nor establish the truth.
Through violence you may murder the hater,
but you do not murder hate.
In fact, violence merely increases hate.
So it goes.
Returning violence for violence multiplies violence,
adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars.
Darkness cannot drive out darkness:
only light can do that.
Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.
-Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
True strength is found in restraint. When hurt, when knocked down, we must not react with hurt, with a closing or a putting up of walls.
We must remain vulnerable, we must remain loving.
To live is to love.
Where there is love there is life.
― Mahatma Gandhi
We never had the chance at a real goodbye...
I guess we never had a chance at a real anything
I'm stuck here all hung up and jealous but I feel all mixed up and confused because it wasn't anything in the first place.
Each time my hands mechanically find their way to her insta it messes me up.
I guess I'm glad she got things worked out with him.
She needed that coffee conversation to grip reality.
She kept stressing that someone was going to get hurt.
She was right.
I do miss talking to her.
I feel like such a sucker.
get up, dust off, risk again.
Valentine's Day 2017
Seafret ft. Rosie Carney - To the Sea
I know it's hard to grow when you're pushed to your knees.
I know our time will pass, your love it will last.
Darling, we will never break.
"I do need space though...I promised Josh that I would message him instead of you every time I had the urge to tell you something over him...I guess that's working on my marriage or something. But anyway we can't talk for real this time...and Josh checks my phone everyday anyway.
Find someone amazing with no baggage. I'll be alright.
Continue being the amazing human that you are
Also...I have to text you to tell you we can't talk anymore so Josh can read it. I just wanted to be honest with you on here but if you can respond to that text that would be awesome.
If you ever need anything don't hesitate to reach out...I hope I get my life figured out
You are amazing
I'm super sad :(
I don't want to be married anymore but I feel stuck. So that's my life. :(
But I'll stop talking now..."
s p a c e
s i l e n c e
I miss her and I don't know what to do.
There is nothing I can do.
I feel so strange. It feels like a break up but we never dated. We never kissed. But it hits me in my gut and it shows all the symptoms of a break up within me.
again I am faced with this confusing cross road in my life
Do I wait like the loyal Sagittarius I am for the chance to be with a married woman I value and feel something towards?
Do I move on and risk the chance of missing each other?
I feel dumb for catching feelings in the first place.
It's over but was it even anything?
Why do I do this?
What was I thinking even talking to a married woman?
I knew this would happen didn't I? I had to.
Kept the walls up for months but eventually I opened up showed her who I am and it only got worse
Meeting for coffee was even more dangerous
July 9th 2016
186 days when I first met her until we got coffee.
I can't manage to hold consistent interest or text conversations with friends or other women but when I tried to shut her out and avoid deep conversations we still found a way to message back and forth for over six months. And now I haven't heard from her in almost a month.
I knew the whole time too, I told her I didn't want to get coffee I deflected vulnerable questions for months.
But to love is to risk and the risk must come first for any chance of love.
I risked, and it hurts.
s p a c e
that's what I get for taking the risk
but it's what we all must do for love
Over and over we are asked the question what will we do
We must get up, dust off, and risk again
we must
The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral,
begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy.
Instead of diminishing evil, it multiplies it.
Through violence you may murder the liar,
but you cannot murder the lie, nor establish the truth.
Through violence you may murder the hater,
but you do not murder hate.
In fact, violence merely increases hate.
So it goes.
Returning violence for violence multiplies violence,
adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars.
Darkness cannot drive out darkness:
only light can do that.
Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.
-Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
True strength is found in restraint. When hurt, when knocked down, we must not react with hurt, with a closing or a putting up of walls.
We must remain vulnerable, we must remain loving.
To live is to love.
Where there is love there is life.
― Mahatma Gandhi
We never had the chance at a real goodbye...
I guess we never had a chance at a real anything
I'm stuck here all hung up and jealous but I feel all mixed up and confused because it wasn't anything in the first place.
Each time my hands mechanically find their way to her insta it messes me up.
I guess I'm glad she got things worked out with him.
She needed that coffee conversation to grip reality.
She kept stressing that someone was going to get hurt.
She was right.
I do miss talking to her.
I feel like such a sucker.
get up, dust off, risk again.
Valentine's Day 2017
Seafret ft. Rosie Carney - To the Sea