Sunday, March 31, 2019

03/31/19

One man wants to camp across the country
One man wants to be a husband
One man wants to travel the world
One man wants to live alone
One man wants to bar crawl with friends
One man wants to move in
One man wants to practice yoga daily
One man wants to garden the Earth
One man wants to stay in and vibe
One man wants to educate youth
One man wants to make enough money
One man wants to make you laugh
One man wants to make you think
One man wants to play guitar
One man wants to believe
One man wants to read every book
One man wants to be a father
One man wants to dance at weddings
One man wants to be alone
One man wants to ski
One man wants to dig roots in a place
One man wants to be known
One man wants to cut his hair
One man wants to let it grow
One man wants to take some space
One man wants to share everything
One man wants to drink PBR
One man wants to find a tongue for liquor
One man wants to study art
One man wants to craft with his hands
All of these men

One man

duality or rather Multi-ality

In the words of Rabbi Solomon Schechter,

"You cannot be anything if you want to be everything."

A man's youth is a time of self exploration, taste, growth, and knowing. A time to educate, to taste and develop deeper the things that inspire and to avoid those that do not. A period to discover a craft. Closing and opening doors. The selecting of a cast in which to pour the mold of life.

What sort of product does a man have who spends his days spilling his time a little bit into each mold? What sort of life does he have to show for it? the arm of one cast, the leg of another, none of them complete.

Envious of the sort of man who can select his cast at a young age fully pour into it for years and years allowing life to cure and at the end of such an investment breaking away the cast to reveal a life of decisiveness and mastery. A life of self knowing.

Afraid of pouring into the wrong life the potential will remain in it's foundry ladle, there it cools and takes the shape of a life of nothing.

Envious of decisiveness

I think back to my days in the church, an army of people following a book.
Instructions on a step by step mold.
Qualities to be, qualities to seek.
A truly enticing path.
But constrained to such a cast...how are people able to stay on the same path when everything on this planet is in such a constant state of change?

The planet, the universe, growing, shifting, revolving, churning, eroding, dying, planting, advancing, and evolving.

"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on."
-Robert Frost

Life goes on whether anyone is ready for it or not it is moving. Whether we hate or love the state we are in it will not stop.

I reached out to a counseling place this week.

Hozier - Almost (Sweet Music)