06/29/12

Jesus the men in my small group are such a blessing. To be greeted at my door with a giant check with outrageous funds for my trip to Africa, it made my heart swell. It is so strange to consider myself a leader of men when You and I both know what a horrible failure I am. I suppose what's why You told Paul "My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness." If that's the case then Your power works very well in me.

In Your kingdom leaders are servants. Show me how to serve. Show me how not to judge. Show me how to thank You constantly. Show me how to love. Show me how to be last.

Why am I so selfish? I guess it's difficult to think about others' feelings when all I can feel are my own. I need Your empathy. I need to feel what others feel.

I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little.
-Paul

What does living with plenty, with everything look like?
What does living with little, with almost nothing look like?

How am I suppose to live? If I have plenty should I give until I have little? Should I give until I have enough? What is enough? If I have little should I ask for more? I want to live like You want me to because I trust that Your way is the best way for me but I'm not sure exactly what that looks like.

Messes of men - Mewithoutyou

And if ever you come near, I'll hold up high a mirror.
Lord, I could never show you anything as beautiful as you!

06/26/12

Gutter residents aren't notches on a Bible or marks on a Christian scorecard - they are real, hurting people, people who are so lost they'll break your heart.
-Craig Gross

The Kingdom of Heaven is like a farmer who planted good seed in his field. But that night as the workers slept, his enemy came and planted weeds among the wheat, then slipped away. When the crop began to grow and produce grain, the weeds also grew. The farmer’s workers went to him and said,
‘Sir, the field where you planted that good seed is full of weeds! Where did they come from?’
‘An enemy has done this!’ the farmer exclaimed.
‘Should we pull out the weeds?’ they asked.
‘No,’ he replied, ‘you’ll uproot the wheat if you do. Let both grow together until the harvest. Then I will tell the harvesters to sort out the weeds, tie them into bundles, and burn them, and to put the wheat in the barn.’
-Jesus

How narrow is the gate to Your Kingdom? I read The Parable of the Tares, I read the context prior to the narrow gate statement, I read the Parable of the Great Banquet and I wonder how exclusive is the Kingdom?

Just before the narrow gate statement You talk about the golden rule, effective prayer, and not judging others. Is the path into Your Kingdom difficult because of sin or pride?

I know You don't care about sin because You love David, Peter, and every human for that matter. And I know how much You emphasize humility and servant hood. As I look at Your words more and more I begin to see more of Your heart. Life isn't about being safe, nice, and clean. Life is about love.

Don't pull out the weeds
Don't worry about the speck in my friends eye
Keep asking, keep seeking, keep knocking
Do to others whatever I would like them to do to me
Go out to the street corners and invite everyone I see, good and bad alike

It isn't the sinful, the broken, the nonchurched who can't find the narrow gate but rather I believe it is the proud. The people who believe they have found the secret narrow gate and try to exclude are the ones on the broad road that leads to destruction. It is simple to exclude, it is easy to ignore, it is comfortable to limit.

But You are a big God Abba! You flip everything upside down.

...I saw a vast crowd, too great to count, from every nation and tribe and people and language, standing in front of the throne and before the Lamb. They were clothed in white robes and held palm branches in their hands.
-Revelation 7:9

the Good News about the Kingdom will be preached throughout the whole world, so that all nations will hear it; and then the end will come
-Jesus

a vast crowd too great to count from EVERY nation EVERY tribe EVERY people EVERY language! Jesus You are a POWERFUL savior. I'll never know how much it cost to see my sins upon that cross.

06/23/12

they sewed fig leaves together to cover themselves
-Genesis 3:7

When they came to the valley of Eshcol, they cut down a branch with a single cluster of grapes so large that it took two of them to carry it on a pole between them! They also brought back samples of the pomegranates and figs.
-Numbers 13:23

Why did you make us leave Egypt and bring us here to this terrible place? This land has no grain, no figs, no grapes, no pomegranates, and no water to drink!”
-Numbers 20:5

It is a land of wheat and barley; of grapevines, fig trees, and pomegranates; of olive oil and honey.
-Deuteronomy 8:8

“Then they said to the fig tree, ‘You be our king!’ But the fig tree also refused, saying, ‘Should I quit producing my sweet fruit just to wave back and forth over the trees?’
-Judges 9:10

...and 200 fig cakes. She packed them on donkeys
-1 Samuel 25:18

They also gave him part of a fig cake and two clusters of raisins, for he hadn’t had anything to eat or drink for three days and nights. Before long his strength returned.
-1 Samuel 30:12

The king made silver as plentiful in Jerusalem as stone. And valuable cedar timber was as common as the sycamore-fig trees that grow in the foothills of Judah.
-1 Kings 10:27

Then each of you can continue eating from your own grapevine and fig tree and drinking from your own well.
-2 Kings 18:31

Then Isaiah said, “Make an ointment from figs.” So Hezekiah’s servants spread the ointment over the boil, and Hezekiah recovered!
-2 Kings 20:7

Vast supplies of flour, fig cakes
-1 Chronicles 12:40

bringing their wine, grapes, figs, and all sorts of produce to Jerusalem to sell on the Sabbath
-Nehemiah 13:15

The fig trees are forming young fruit
-Song of Solomon 2:13

It sits at the head of a fertile valley, but its glorious beauty will fade like a flower. Whoever sees it will snatch it up, as an early fig is quickly picked and eaten.
-Isaiah 28:4

the LORD gave me this vision. I saw two baskets of figs placed in front of the LORD’s Temple in Jerusalem.
-Jeremiah 24

But Amos replied, “I’m not a professional prophet, and I was never trained to be one. I’m just a shepherd, and I take care of sycamore-fig trees.
-Amos 7:14

You can identify them by their fruit, that is, by the way they act. Can you pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles?
-Matthew 7:16

and he noticed a fig tree beside the road. He went over to see if there were any figs, but there were only leaves. Then he said to it, “May you never bear fruit again!” And immediately the fig tree withered up.
-Matthew 21:19

Peter remembered what Jesus had said to the tree on the previous day and exclaimed, “Look, Rabbi! The fig tree you cursed has withered and died!”
-Mark 11:21

Jesus asked him, “Do you believe this just because I told you I had seen you under the fig tree? You will see greater things than this.”
-John 1:50

Then the stars of the sky fell to the earth like green figs falling from a tree shaken by a strong wind.
-Revelation 6:13

There are dozens of times in the bible where the fig is mentioned. Today I finally got to experience a California black mission fig. I've wanted to try a fig for years. It was awesome to get to share in the same fruit that is mentioned so many times in Your word.

It seems kind of simple and strange but that moment with You as I ate my first fig, it made me think about what You must have experienced the first time You took on flesh and ate Your first fig. It's crazy to think the God of the universe was human and drank the same water as me and ate the same fruit as me. I wonder how much You enjoyed Your time in Your creation. I wonder how much You enjoyed the smells of flowers, the tastes of fruit, the sounds of birds. I can not wait to be with You Jesus.

06/20/12

It's interesting to think about who I was in June of 2011 who I am in June 2012 and who I will be in June 2013.

I haven't stopped growing since the day I was conceived.
the person Adam is an always changing being.
I wonder which me will be eternal.

The older I get the wiser I become but the more sinful I've been. Would it be better to have the experience of my elder self, the body of my adult self, or the innocence of my younger self? The longer I live the more I know You and seek Your face but at the same time the more I fail, the more this world wounds me, the more my eyes are opened, and I realize I am naked. Interesting how sin has a way of eroding innocence.

I wonder if my eternal self will be all three and more.

As I look back at the man behind these hands one year ago I have trouble realizing that I am that same man. I am that same boy who grew up in Wauseon, who worked in the lumber yard, who went to community college, who worked at that summer camp, who graduated from Ohio State, who made the promises, who said the things, who did the things, who treated people the way he did.

It seems each life contains many lives within it. Chapters, I suppose, in the same book. But how incredibly different each chapter can look from the previous. I wonder if David thought the same thing. He was a small shepherd boy after God's own heart. But at his last breath how much of that had he lost or how much more did he gain? The same goes for Moses: basket to royalty to shepherd to leader of Israel. The list goes on and on in fact Your word is filled with men like this whose lives contain drastically different chapters throughout.

With each step towards death I become closer to You, yet sin sticks to my feet. Please wash them Abba. June of 2012 is greater than June of 2011. I pray that You would make June of 2013 greater still Jesus. Only You know who I'll be then.

06/17/12

In exactly one month I'll be on my way to Zambia!

I know all the things you do, that you are neither hot nor cold. I wish that you were one or the other! But since you are like lukewarm water, neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth! You say, ‘I am rich. I have everything I want. I don’t need a thing!’ And you don’t realize that you are wretched and miserable and poor and blind and naked. So I advise you to buy gold from me—gold that has been purified by fire. Then you will be rich. Also buy white garments from me so you will not be shamed by your nakedness, and ointment for your eyes so you will be able to see. I correct and discipline everyone I love. So be diligent and turn from your indifference.
-Revelations Chapter 3

Abba I do think I'm rich, that I have everything I want, I don't need a thing. Am I wretched, miserable, poor, blind, and naked?

"Be diligent and turn from your indifference."
How Jesus? by selling everything I own giving to the poor? By giving all of my clothes away except one shirt and pants?

Your kingdom is so completely upside down to me. Maybe that is why I am blind. It seems like everything I want is opposite of the order in Your kingdom. In order to lead I must serve. In order to be first I must be last. In order to be rich I must be poor. In order to be saved I must lose my life.

Jesus I don't want to be spit out of Your mouth but how can I avoid it living the life I live? It takes no faith to follow You when I have a savings account, health insurance, and so much wealth. Are we meant to live this way?

Sometimes I wonder about when people say "God bless America" I wonder what this country would look like if they got what they asked for. You say You discipline everyone You love, I question our blessedness as I look at the lack of disciplining here in America.

The people of Zambia in Your upside down Kingdom are far more blessed than America. Can someone be lukewarm and indifferent when they have no food, no money, no health? They need to cry out to You, they need You to show up in their lives. If I have a problem I cry out to You but in the back of my mind know I can go to the doctors or buy food anywhere. I need to start buying gold from You and not from this world. Discipline me Abba, show me Your love.

Wake Up - All Sons & Daughters

06/15/12

Christians are free to enter into the depths of the world's existence with nothing to offer the world but their own lives. And that is to be taken literally. What the Christian has to give to the world is his very life. He is established in such an extreme freedom by the power of Christ, which is so much greater than the power of death, that the Christian lives secure from any threats which death may make.
-William Stringfellow

Abba this life is a vapor. This life is a breath and then I am gone from this earth. Why should I fear death? Why should I attempt to preserve this life? Why should I seek comfort, entertainment, and selfish desires? Why should I store my treasures on this earth?

If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it.
-Jesus

The Christian world tells me, Don't camp with the homeless it's too dangerous, Don't go into the alleys and gutters you could lose your life. Christians pray for safety before during and after every mission, is that what You want Jesus?

I am sending you out as sheep among wolves. So be as shrewd as snakes and harmless as doves.
-Jesus

Sheep don't stand a chance against wolves. You've sent us on a suicide mission! I'm beginning to see that this life isn't about being "safe" and "nice" it's about throwing life away in order to gain actual life.

It's about taking risks. But no matter how dangerous the situation there is no such thing as risk or fear in You Abba.

Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.
-Jesus

It is finished, You have overcome the world. Now, because of Your sacrifice this life is like bumper bowling. I am free to throw this life however carelessly and dangerously I feel down the alley knowing that it will not go into the gutter.

Why spend this life in a comfortable house when I could live in my car or a tent? Why spend my time on vacations when I could love my brothers who are broken?

Am I taking this too far? Or have I not taken it far enough? How many people today won't get food? How many children will work well over 12 hours today in a sweat shop for little to no money so that I can afford luxuries in this life that will only perish? The ugly are beautiful, the blind see, the dead live.

God blesses those who are poor and realize their need for him,[a]
for the Kingdom of Heaven is theirs.
God blesses those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.
God blesses those who are humble,
for they will inherit the whole earth.
God blesses those who hunger and thirst for justice,[b]
for they will be satisfied.
God blesses those who are merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.
God blesses those whose hearts are pure,
for they will see God.
God blesses those who work for peace,
for they will be called the children of God.
God blesses those who are persecuted for doing right,
for the Kingdom of Heaven is theirs.
God blesses you when people mock you and persecute you and lie about you and say all sorts of evil things against you because you are my followers. Be happy about it! Be very glad! For a great reward awaits you in heaven. And remember, the ancient prophets were persecuted in the same way. You are the salt of the earth. But what good is salt if it has lost its flavor? Can you make it salty again? It will be thrown out and trampled underfoot as worthless.
-Jesus

My Lord my savior, help me not lose my saltiness among the world, help me remain different, to love like the world hasn't seen.

When the Saints - Sara Groves

06/11/12

Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing.
-Luke 23:34

Jesus we don't know what we're doing. I don't know what I am doing.
Whether it's Pharisee's nailing You to a cross or me selfishly neglecting You, we don't know what we're doing.

If only I had Your vision. If only I could see how temporary this world really is. How my worldly senses deceive me about what is real and what isn't. How my flesh overshadows my spirit. How my mind overrides my heart.

I really don't know what I'm doing. Abba I need Your patient forgiveness. The angels around You must think I'm an idiot. To be made in Your imagine to have You freely die for me to be given the opportunity to worship You and yet to ignore You so often throughout each day.

Unforgiveness must be a hilarious idea to the Heavenly realm. I think about when I talk to homeless brothers and sisters listening to their disagreements and how one has wronged the other. When I listen to the grudges about lending food stamps and not getting paid back or someone stealing batteries out of someone's tent I always think to myself "who cares? Just let it go life is more than food stamps and batteries."

Then I look at my life and my unforgiveness. The grudges I hold the bitterness in my heart and I think about how You must look at my heart and think "Who cares? Just let it go Adam, life is more than that. You have me."

Even on the cross Your forgiveness comes so easily like exhaling a breath You forgive us our sins. To You every argument, every grudge, every wrong is just a fight over a worthless bag of cans. You see us swinging and yelling using words like "mine" and "thief" shouting accusations at our brothers and sisters over issues that won't matter in one hundred years or maybe even five minutes.

If only I could live like every year is the year of jubilee. If only I could live like this breath is my last. How simply forgiveness would flow from my heart and how genuine it would taste.

Abba I don't know what I'm doing when I choose TV over Jesus. I don't know what I'm doing when I walk past one of Your children on the street. I don't know what I'm doing when I refuse to forgive a debt no matter the size.

If I could truly see the value of Jesus, I wouldn't pick anything in this world over You.
If I could truly see the weight of glory for my brother living on the street, I wouldn't be able to ignore him or care about my plans for that day.
If I could truly see the pettiness of every grudge, I would taste Your Kingdom on earth as it is in Heaven.

Lord forgive me for I don't know what I'm doing. Nothing in my hand I bring, simply to the cross I cling; naked, come to thee for dress; helpless, look to thee for grace; foul, I to the fountain fly; wash me, Savior, or I die. Rock of Ages, cleft for me, let me hide myself in thee. Jesus please hide me in Your mercy, in Your grace. I'm dead without You. Please set me free wash me clean.

Rock of Ages - Fernando Ortega

06/08/12

I know I've talked about this before but I just can't wait to see Your Kingdom!

I will rejoice in doing them good and will assuredly plant them in this land with all my heart and soul.
-Jeremiah 32:41



           

The Earth Is Yours - Gungor

06/05/12

When Christ went to Hell

You bore my sins with Your last breath, You left this life.
Approaching the gates of Hell sealed with an unbreakable lock.
You kicked down the gates and entered the place Your glory could never visit.
Stormed the prison and shocked the guards with Your mighty hands You bend the bars.

You approached the addicts enslaved by chemicals, You grabbed them from their masters.
The whores and hookers trapped in bondage, You reached down and pulled them from their pit.
You pried the claws of greed open to release Your children.
Continuing Your rampage You approached the cells of Your children captured by lust.
You gripped firmly the iron bars and wrenched them open with one tug.
As You marched with long strides Your Holy eyes burning with anger Your pace quickened.
You peered into the darkness with Your gaze piercing the abyss like spot lights illuminating the chasm.
Huddled in the corner were the murderers You knelt down smashed the ball and snapped the chains allowing them to run free.

Hell was being ransacked nothing could stop You. No one expected to see the King of Kings in the sinners dwelling place. You pronounced freedom to all as You paced down each and every isle in the prison setting every captive free.
Then You finally reached my cage.
You pressed Your face against my holding cell my home for eternity. As Your eyes lit up my eternally dark resting place I dared not lift my face for fear of a punishment far worse and more deserving. The smell of sulfur dissipated and the smell of spring or new life filled the cage. I heard the crunching of metal as You stepped into my cage. I cringed at the thought of You entering my cage seeing all of my sin and being in Your presence as such an awful man. You stooped to my side as I tried to dodge Your touch. I felt Your hands grab my shackles of shame and grind them in to powder. I felt the yoke of my debt, my sin, my unforgiveness, my darkness lift from my neck. You took my hand and You told me to stand. As my fellow sinners and I followed behind You, our shepherd, towards the exit I tasted a freedom I'd never experienced. I felt a joy purer than ever before. After You tore the door from it's hinges You took a match and burned Hell to the ground.

Every prisoner was freed.
Every captive was released.
Every dead child was resurrected.
No one could stop shouting "Holy Holy Holy is the Lamb!"

Abba,Jesus,Spirit, All Honor, All Glory, All Praise to You. The veil was torn and we stand before you now
In your glory we're amazed, by your glory we're amazed. Jesus You are worthy of all praise. How can I begin to show gratitude for what you did for me on that day? The day You hung and died on the cross, The day You put death in it's grave. Thank You for going to Hell setting us free and leading us out.

Love Has Found Us - Bellarive

06/02/12

For you were made from dust, and to dust you will return.
-Genesis 3

Our days on earth are like grass; like wildflowers, we bloom and die. The wind blows, and we are gone—as though we had never been here.
-Psalm 103

Your life is like the morning fog—it’s here a little while, then it’s gone.
-James 4

You have made my life no longer than the width of my hand. My entire lifetime is just a moment to you; at best, each of us is but a breath.
-Psalm 39

O Lord, what are human beings that you should notice them, mere mortals that you should think about them? For they are like a breath of air; their days are like a passing shadow.
-Psalm 144

אָדָם

Adam - comes from the trilateral root אָדַם ( 'ADM ), meaning "red", "fair", "handsome". As a masculine noun, 'adam means "man", "mankind" usually in a collective context as in humankind, and may also refer to the individual human. The noun 'adam is also the masculine form of the word adamah which means "ground" or "earth". It is related to the words: adom (red), admoni (ruddy), and dam (blood).

As I plunge my bare hand into the earth and toss aside a scoop of dirt I'm reminded of what I will one day become. What all of the men before me have become and what all of the men after me will become, dust.

Adam, I am man and I am earth.

The ground that I walk on, the ground that I build my life from, the ground that I pass over without a second thought is the foundation my ancestors have left for me. Someday I will join their ranks when this flesh of mine will return to the dust from which is was created.

I am dirt, my life is:
the morning fog
but a breath
a passing shadow.

There are two ways through life - the way of nature and the way of grace. You have to choose which one you'll follow. Grace doesn't try to please itself. Accepts being slighted, forgotten, disliked. Accepts insults and injuries. Nature only wants to please itself. Get others to please it too. Likes to lord it over them. To have its own way. It finds reasons to be unhappy when all the world is shining around it. And love is smiling through all things.
-The Tree of Life

Although this life is but a breath and although this flesh will one day return to dust You, Abba, are eternal, You are the Creator. You, Jesus, are my Savior. This body is temporary, this time on earth is temporary, You will not be invisible to me forever. Because this life is like the morning fog I will spend it in grace, in joy, in love. I will spend this body and this life seeking You and forgiving my brothers and sisters. Nothing I gain on earth will last, why should I chase after anything of this world? I can spend my whole life working for something just to have it taken away. I will store my treasure in heaven. I will place my hope in You. I will find my delight in Your presence.

My time on this earth will be over and forgotten shortly, this body will return to dust, but my soul will forever be in Your presence.

Jesus You're Beautiful - Jon Thurlow