02/28/13

Do any of us believe what Jesus said?

I mean honestly do we trust His words?

Better to gouge out your eye than lust? Do we believe that?

The meek shall inherit the earth?

Those who are last will be first?

Don't worry about what You will eat or wear?

Don't worry about tomorrow?

Love your enemies?

The more and more I encounter Christians the more and more I ask this question.

Do any of us believe what Jesus said?

Then why don't we obey? Why don't we love like Jesus? Why don't we give like Jesus? Why don't we live like Jesus?

I'm tired of the fallen world excuses, the enemy b.s. Yes I know sin is still a problem but that didn't seem to stop the guys in the book of Acts.

I've been reading Martin Luther King's book Strength to Love and it is amazing. But I've been thinking lately is it really all that amazing? The only thing MLK really did was believe the words Jesus spoke. He heard Jesus say love your enemies and he did it. Why is that so shocking? Shouldn't every church on every corner be filled with MLKs and Mother Teresas? These are just two people who trusted Jesus' teachings. It's strange, we know that when we see someone step out and follow Jesus it has amazing results both for the individual and their community. But yet we don't want to risk it.

Jesus said those who try to save their lives will lose them. Those who lose their lives will find them. Why aren't all of us "Chrstians" trying to lose our lives? Why aren't we quitting our jobs? Why aren't we wasting our savings on those in need? Why aren't we blowing our retirement on loving complete strangers or better yet our enemies?

We love to sit back and read MLK's words and see his deeds and think "man he was an awesome dude, I could never do that" And we still call ourselves Christians along side him.

Jesus help me trust You, Help me obey You, Help me love You, Help me die.

Civil Parish- Wicked Wounds

02/25/13

Thank You Abba

Thank You for another day.
Thank You for healthy lungs.
Thank You for this mind.
Thank You for the pantry.
Thank You for the garden.
Thank You for Better Way.
Thank You for Travis' 25 birthday this Tuesday.
Thank You for my parents.
Thank You for my brother.
Thank You for trees.
Thank You for animals.
Thank You for music.
Thank You for Good Fellas.
Thank You for so much more.
Thank You for everything.
Thank You for pain.
Thank You for joy.
Thank You for Bea:)

I think about how vast this planet is. How many different ecosystems and environments. Each filled with unique and beautiful life. Deserts, Forests, Oceans, Mountains, Tundras, Caves, and so much more. Why? Then I think of all the planets around us. None come close to ours. None so diverse. None so alive. But yet each of them is painted with Your beauty. Each one when considering the size, distance, and mass causes great awe and praise towards You. This stuff is insane. From the size of the sun to the size of an ant...that's crazy. And yet what is big or small to humans is nothing to You. You have no size, no limits, no bounds.

You are both the smallest and the biggest. I can't wrap my mind around You. You are outside of time. What dose that even mean? You can create new colors, I don't even know how that's possible. You made the world but from what materials? How can anyone create something out of nothing? None of us are able. Only You. Our greatest technology our greatest robots are nothing compared to Your creation. Could we with bolts and steel create a lion, as nibble quick and beautiful? Could we with jet fuel and turbines create an eagle? We build our skyscrapers but next to your volcanoes and mountains they are tooth picks. We predict the weather with our satellites and radars yet the animals know when to retreat. We mix and pour our concrete over Your creation to cover it up, to rule over it and yet roots up heave the massive slabs and flowers push through the cracks. Everything we create needs maintenance and repair. Everything You've created works together perfectly. When one tree dies more sprout. When one animal is eaten one is fed. When rain ruins, life sprouts.

Thank You for life.
Thank You for Earth.
Thank You for freedom.
Thank You for Love.

How Deep The Father's Love - By Page CXVI

02/23/13

NOOMA Whirlwind | 024


We cannot look at you or we will die.
We cannot hear your voice or we will die.
We cannot touch the ark or we will die.

Holy, righteousness, sanctification.

Do I really know the meaning of these words?

Do I really know the complete extent of the word on the cross?

Can I know?

I am a gentile born thousands of years after the bible was written.

How can I know?

What is man that you should think of him,
the son of man that you should care for him?
-Psalm 8

Who am I that you should die for me?
Who am I that you should know my name?
Who am I that you should know the hairs on my head?

Creator of the universe, the star breather, the mountain mover, who am I that You should love me?

When I think of my sins (and they are many) I struggle to swallow the gift of grace.
You are good God, You are too good.

02/22/13

Parable of the Sower

“Listen! A farmer went out to plant some seeds. As he scattered them across his field, some seeds fell on a footpath, and the birds came and ate them. Other seeds fell on shallow soil with underlying rock. The seeds sprouted quickly because the soil was shallow. But the plants soon wilted under the hot sun, and since they didn’t have deep roots, they died. Other seeds fell among thorns that grew up and choked out the tender plants. Still other seeds fell on fertile soil, and they produced a crop that was thirty, sixty, and even a hundred times as much as had been planted! Anyone with ears to hear should listen and understand.”
-Matthew 13

“Listen! A farmer went out to plant some seed. As he scattered it across his field, some of the seed fell on a footpath, and the birds came and ate it. Other seed fell on shallow soil with underlying rock. The seed sprouted quickly because the soil was shallow. But the plant soon wilted under the hot sun, and since it didn’t have deep roots, it died. Other seed fell among thorns that grew up and choked out the tender plants so they produced no grain. Still other seeds fell on fertile soil, and they sprouted, grew, and produced a crop that was thirty, sixty, and even a hundred times as much as had been planted!” Then he said, “Anyone with ears to hear should listen and understand.”
-Mark 4

“A farmer went out to plant his seed. As he scattered it across his field, some seed fell on a footpath, where it was stepped on, and the birds ate it. Other seed fell among rocks. It began to grow, but the plant soon wilted and died for lack of moisture. Other seed fell among thorns that grew up with it and choked out the tender plants. Still other seed fell on fertile soil. This seed grew and produced a crop that was a hundred times as much as had been planted!” When he had said this, he called out, “Anyone with ears to hear should listen and understand.”
-Luke 8

Footpath=birds ate them, stepped on
shallow soil, rocks=sprouted quickly=wilted under the sun, no deep roots
thorns=grew up with it=choked out
fertile soil=produced 30, 60, 100 times more

For the most part it seems the three gospels recorded the same story. Luke seems to be the only one a little different. He mentions the lack of moisture for the shallow soil. He mentioned the plant growing with the thorn for a period before being choked out. He also does not mention the 30 or 60 times. He cuts right to the 100 times only.

All of them end with Anyone with ears to hear should listen and understand. It's interesting that they remember Jesus ending with that bit of advice. I probably wouldn't have.

“Now listen to the explanation of the parable about the farmer planting seeds: The seed that fell on the footpath represents those who hear the message about the Kingdom and don’t understand it. Then the evil one comes and snatches away the seed that was planted in their hearts. The seed on the rocky soil represents those who hear the message and immediately receive it with joy. But since they don’t have deep roots, they don’t last long. They fall away as soon as they have problems or are persecuted for believing God’s word. The seed that fell among the thorns represents those who hear God’s word, but all too quickly the message is crowded out by the worries of this life and the lure of wealth, so no fruit is produced. The seed that fell on good soil represents those who truly hear and understand God’s word and produce a harvest of thirty, sixty, or even a hundred times as much as had been planted!”

The farmer plants seed by taking God’s word to others. The seed that fell on the footpath represents those who hear the message, only to have Satan come at once and take it away. The seed on the rocky soil represents those who hear the message and immediately receive it with joy. But since they don’t have deep roots, they don’t last long. They fall away as soon as they have problems or are persecuted for believing God’s word. The seed that fell among the thorns represents others who hear God’s word, but all too quickly the message is crowded out by the worries of this life, the lure of wealth, and the desire for other things, so no fruit is produced. And the seed that fell on good soil represents those who hear and accept God’s word and produce a harvest of thirty, sixty, or even a hundred times as much as had been planted!”

“This is the meaning of the parable: The seed is God’s word. The seeds that fell on the footpath represent those who hear the message, only to have the devil come and take it away from their hearts and prevent them from believing and being saved. The seeds on the rocky soil represent those who hear the message and receive it with joy. But since they don’t have deep roots, they believe for a while, then they fall away when they face temptation. The seeds that fell among the thorns represent those who hear the message, but all too quickly the message is crowded out by the cares and riches and pleasures of this life. And so they never grow into maturity. And the seeds that fell on the good soil represent honest, good-hearted people who hear God’s word, cling to it, and patiently produce a huge harvest.

All three gospels also have the explanation attached in the chapter.

Seed=God's word.
Footpath=those who hear the message and don't understand it.=The evil one comes and snatches away the seed.
rocky soil= those who hear the message and immediately receive it with joy.=without deep roots they fall away as soon as they have problems or are persecuted for believing God's word. or face temptation
Thorns=hear God's word=but all too quickly the message crowded out by worries of this life and lure of wealth.
Good soil=truly hear and understand God's word=produce a harvest of 30, 60, even 100 times as planted. cling to the word and patiently produce a huge harvest.

The interesting thing about this parable is Jesus only refers to people who hear the word of God.
He only mentioned places where the seed has landed. What about the other soil all around the world there the farmer did not scatter his seeds?

Also I'm not sure I understand the footpath people. What does it mean to have the devil come and snatch it away from their hearts? Is that the footpath's fault? Does that mean they are damned for having Satan take the seed from them?

The rocky soil actually hears the message and receives it. Here we have the first mention of confirmation in the seed. It did land here and it was received. but the roots weren't deep enough. What dose it take to have deep roots? It sounds as if the rocky soil wanted deep roots but didn't seem to have the opportunity thus once temptation and problems come they wilt.

The thorn seed again hear the message but they get anxious about the risk so they never grow into maturity. Luke almost made it sound as if growing among the thorns was like being around non-Christians but in the explanation Jesus doesn't say that. He doesn't say stay away from those pesky worldly sinners. The secular world. No instead He says that it is worry and wealth not people.

And of course the good soil are the people who go on to preach the love and spread the love.

It is also interesting to note that Jesus doesn't talk about it being the farmers fault. He doesn't blame the throw or the seed. I worry a lot about if I am portraying Christ's love well enough. What if I say the wrong thing, do the wrong thing, upset someone, then it is my fault they don't know God. But in this story Jesus isn't concerned about who's throwing the seeds and if the seeds are any good. The point is the heart of the person or the soil receiving the seed. We can only control ourselves. We have no one to blame but ourselves. We shouldn't fear the risk of screwing up. It doesn't seem to be about that to Jesus. He'll take care of that stuff we just need to toss the seeds of love.

But I'm still confused about the footpath guys...

WALK THE MOON - Anna Sun

02/20/13

Then the Kingdom of Heaven will be like ten bridesmaids who took their lamps and went to meet the bridegroom. Five of them were foolish, and five were wise. The five who were foolish didn’t take enough olive oil for their lamps, but the other five were wise enough to take along extra oil. When the bridegroom was delayed, they all became drowsy and fell asleep. At midnight they were roused by the shout, ‘Look, the bridegroom is coming! Come out and meet him!’ All the bridesmaids got up and prepared their lamps. Then the five foolish ones asked the others, ‘Please give us some of your oil because our lamps are going out.’ But the others replied, ‘We don’t have enough for all of us. Go to a shop and buy some for yourselves.’ But while they were gone to buy oil, the bridegroom came. Then those who were ready went in with him to the marriage feast, and the door was locked. Later, when the other five bridesmaids returned, they stood outside, calling, ‘Lord! Lord! Open the door for us!’ But he called back, ‘Believe me, I don’t know you!’ So you, too, must keep watch! For you do not know the day or hour of my return.
-Matthew 25

Then, teaching them more about prayer, he used this story: “Suppose you went to a friend’s house at midnight, wanting to borrow three loaves of bread. You say to him, ‘A friend of mine has just arrived for a visit, and I have nothing for him to eat.’ And suppose he calls out from his bedroom, ‘Don’t bother me. The door is locked for the night, and my family and I are all in bed. I can’t help you.’ But I tell you this—though he won’t do it for friendship’s sake, if you keep knocking long enough, he will get up and give you whatever you need because of your shameless persistence. And so I tell you, keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened.
-Luke 11

Everyone who knocks, the door will be opened.

Then Jesus left Galilee and went north to the region of Tyre and Sidon. A Gentile woman who lived there came to him, pleading, “Have mercy on me, O Lord, Son of David! For my daughter is possessed by a demon that torments her severely.” But Jesus gave her no reply, not even a word. Then his disciples urged him to send her away. “Tell her to go away,” they said. “She is bothering us with all her begging.” Then Jesus said to the woman, “I was sent only to help God’s lost sheep—the people of Israel.” But she came and worshiped him, pleading again, “Lord, help me!” Jesus responded, “It isn’t right to take food from the children and throw it to the dogs.” She replied, “That’s true, Lord, but even dogs are allowed to eat the scraps that fall beneath their masters’ table.” “Dear woman,” Jesus said to her, “your faith is great. Your request is granted.” And her daughter was instantly healed.
-Matthew 15

Is Hell eternal?

Is death final?

Wherever the tree fell, that's where it lays? Is that how You are Jesus? If I go to get more oil could I be locked out of the wedding party forever?

How can any of us enjoy Heaven knowing if even one is stuck in Hell? Isn't that the exact reason You came for the cross? To seek and save the lost? To leave the 99 in search of the 1 lost sheep? Wouldn't You leave Heaven and go down in to Hell to find the 1 lost child?

Are we saved by grace alone? Or is it dependent on our faith?

What about in 2 Timothy when the write writes about God:

If we are unfaithful,
he remains faithful,
for he cannot deny who he is.

So does salvation rest on our faithfulness? But even if we are unfaithful You remain faithful. It's who You are.

What if I am locked out of the wedding party but I do not stop knocking? If my friends on earth, who are evil, will get up and let me in how much more will my Father in Heaven who is righteous get up and let me in?

What if You call me an unworthy dog but yet I still persist? What if I sit at Heaven's gates for eternity knocking? Won't You who are good let me in? You cannot deny who You are.

Despite the fact that I may break the new covenant, You won't. You can't. It's who You are. I take communion, the Eucharistic, the pass over meal, whatever you want to call it ever mindful of Your faithfulness in spite of my unfaithfulness.

Even dogs get crumbs.
Even friends answer the door if not for friendship’s sake, they will get up and give whatever is needed because of shameless persistence.

But You are more than a dog owner.
You are more than a friend.
You are more than a bridegroom.

Is Hell eternal?
Is death final?

Manifesto - The City Harmonic

02/17/13

NOOMA Corner | 023


God is not fair

I wake up, I flush the toilet, I turn on the shower, I brush my teeth, I make a cup of coffee, and I don't even realize that 780 million people lack access to clean water; approximately one in nine people.

It's not fair that I should have limitless access to clean water.
It's not fair that I should have control over the temperature in my apartment at all times.
It's not fair that I should have electricity to charge this chromebook.
It's not fair that I should have oxygen in my lungs
Blood in my veins
sight
health

How often do I thank You for these things...anything?

Why are You so good to me?

How can I pass on the goodness?

When Ruth went back to work again, Boaz ordered his young men, “Let her gather grain right among the sheaves without stopping her. And pull out some heads of barley from the bundles and drop them on purpose for her. Let her pick them up, and don’t give her a hard time!”
-Ruth 2:15

drop them on purpose for her. God are are not fair. It is beautiful

Ruth fell at his feet and thanked him warmly. “What have I done to deserve such kindness?” she asked. “I am only a foreigner.”
-Ruth 2:10

We are all foreigners. No land is anyone's land. Nothing that grows belongs to anyone. We were all once slaves. Therefore we must never forget the widows, orphans, and immigrants.

The prodigal God. You are marvelous.

02/11/13

Today my brother turns 28.

But no matter how much the mess and distortion make you want to despair, you can’t abandon the work because you’re chained to the bloody thing, it’s absolutely woven into your soul and you know you can never rest until you’ve brought truth out of all the distortion and beauty out of all the mess - but it’s agony, agony, agony, - while simultaneously being the most wonderful and rewarding experience in the world - and that’s the creative process which so few people understand. It involves an indestructible sort of fidelity, an insane sort of hope, and indescribable sort of...well, it’s love, isn’t it? There’s no other word for it...and don’t throw Mozart at me...I know he claimed his creative process was no more than a form of automatic writing, but the truth was he sweated and slaved and died young giving birth to all that music. He poured himself out and suffered. That’s the way it is. That’s creation...you can’t create without waste and mess and sheer undiluted slog. You can’t create without pain. It’s all part of the process. It’s in the nature of things
-Absolute Truths by Susan Howatch

Agony, agony, agony...it's love.

No other choice.

If someone says, “I love God,” but hates a brother or sister, that person is a liar; for if we don’t love people we can see, how can we love God, whom we cannot see?
-1 John 4:20

God is love.

That’s the way it is. That’s love...you can’t love without waste and mess and sheer undiluted slog. You can’t love without pain. It’s all part of the process.

sheer undiluted slog, that's what if feels like sometimes Abba. But what else can I do? I don't want my words of love towards You to be a lie. But I can’t abandon because I'm chained to the bloody thing, it’s absolutely woven into your soul and I know I can never rest until I've brought truth out of all the distortion and beauty out of all the mess.

It's a pseudo damned if I do, damned if I don't
a Catch 22
a rock and a hard place

It is filed with those questions humans ask like "If God is all loving AND all powerful, then how can there be pain?"
But it is the only way. It must be this way.

If I don't love, if I abandon and quit then my heart, my soul, my being will ache to express the love I suppress. It's woven into my soul! But if I do express the love it is agony, agony, agony, sheer undiluted slog.

Love is a risk.
Without free will there can be no love.

And so the world hangs in this logical contradiction along with my heart.

Do I quit and feel the agony of suppression of soul?
Or do I continue and feel the agony of rejected expression of the soul?

But ultimately does it matter?

God's love NEVER fails. Jesus You will never abandon me. In fact You made a covenant with me sealed in Your body and blood. I know that even though I break that covenant that You cannot. You're ways are higher than mine. You remain faithful even if I do not. You keep Your covenants. I trust that. I stake my faith and life on that.

So what choice do I have? I can run from the pain only to realize that it can find me no matter where I go. Or I can stand up, stand firm, and lean into the pain of love. The beauty of pain.

At the end of the day I know You love me Lord. And if You are for me what can stand against me?

Life is meant to be lived. Life is a risk. Life is an expression of the soul.
I must express my heart. It is woven into my being. The agony of suppression far out weights the agony of rejection.

Isn't that why You created us?

The Avett Brothers - The Weight of Lies

02/09/13

NOOMA Tomato | 022


Jesus teaches us how to die so that we can really live.

Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego replied, “O Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you. If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God whom we serve is able to save us. He will rescue us from your power, Your Majesty. But even if he doesn't, we want to make it clear to you, Your Majesty, that we will never serve your gods or worship the gold statue you have set up.”
-Daniel 3

My life is a mess.

I don't have the woman I want
I don't have the job I want
I don't do what I want to do
I do what I don't want to do
each day I'm getting older
I never pictured my life would look like this at 25

But who cares about their life?

What if I had the perfect wife?
What if I had the perfect job?
What if I had the perfect house?

Then what?

Life is meant to be lived.

Even if he doesn't, I want to make clear to you, that I will never stop loving Jesus.

Even if I never find a wife
Even if I never find the right job
Even if I never own a home
Even if I go blind
Paraplegic
Insane
Or whatever. My life is a mess. But who is to say it is even my life? What does God owe me?

God is good.

When nothing goes right, when life keeps moving, I shrug and laugh with You Jesus because this is the ride I might as well enjoy it. Besides, You make everything glorious.

02/05/13

When peace like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

I am just following the shepherd
I have to walk it out
Everything is going to be ok
God is good

I know all of this stuff in my heart.

But why am I so anxious?

Why do I feel this pit in my stomach?

Last night after the Monday Night Service Bea and I took a massive birthday card to Linda's house. We made a snowman and placed the card in his arms. Then we ended up talking until 6:00am.

Do I honestly trust in Your goodness?

I guess I don't understand. Why would You put her in my life if You didn't want us together?
What am I suppose to do with these feelings?
Am I wrong for feeling how I do?
How do I change my feelings?

What am I suppose to do? I guess I'm just impatient.
I am back to the question:
I will wait vs Carry on?

What happened to yesterday's peace?
How do I hid myself in the rock of ages cleft for me?

I don't understand what to do. And I don't like feeling this anxious. I wish I could change my feelings. I wish I could trust in You.

I take a few good steps on the water but then I start to sink. What a terrible feeling in my stomach as my ankle goes under.

And yet what beauty in this brokenness. T.V. Books, Internet, nothing satisfies my heart right now. So I turn to You and I pour out my pain and my doubt to You now.

I want to stay close to You, always, no matter the cost, and it seems the more my heart breaks the closer I come to You. It is a hefty yet worthwhile price.

If only I clung to You on the mountain as I do in the valley. My pilgrimages to the valley would become less frequent.

But I never learn and I take another deep fresh drink from Your well of patience.

When sorrows like sea billows roll; it is well, with my soul.

I trust that You are good. I trust that You will always lead me by still waters, that You will always let me rest in green pastures.

Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me all the days of my life,
-Psalm 23:6

So Why am I worrying about this situation? You've got me God. Whatever my lot, it is well with my soul.

I think that love is so much easier than you realize,
If you can give yourself to someone,
Then you should.

02/02/13

NOOMA She | 021


Am I ok with a feminine God?

Why is the term feminine a synonym for weak?

When men call each other weak they say "pussy"

You throw like a girl
You scream like a girl
You cry like a girl

why is feminine perceived as weak?

Not only in America, in the entire world.
Not only today, through the course of time.

Why are we not comfortable with a female president?
A female boss, lawyer, doctor, leader?

It is acceptable for women to portray and display masculine roles.

It's ok if a woman wears pants. It's ok if a woman has short hair. It's ok if a woman acts like a man.

But what happens if a man acts like a woman?
Is it ok for a man to wear a dress? Is it ok for a man to have long hair? To wear makeup? To stay at home and look after the kids? To cook dinner? To do laundry? To be a secretary?

Masculine features are acceptable for anyone. But feminine feature are mocked when women show them and disgusting, vile, abominating if men show them.

Am I ok with a God the Mother?
What if God wore an apron?

Crying isn't feminine. But crying is seen as a sign of weakness and thus has taken the form of feminism.

Why do we do this?

What is so challenging or wrong with associating man with weak?

and more importantly what is so wrong with associating woman with strong?

In Genesis some believe the translation actually says that man and human mean the same thing. What if the first human was neither male nor female? What if the first human was both. Fully in the image of God?

What if it wasn't good for human to be alone so God created two beings from the whole?

Man.

and woman.

This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.
-Genesis 2:24

What if both are equally crucial one no more important than the other? One no more stronger than the other?
What if together they are united into one?

What if they are completely different but in no way valued differently?

Are we okay with that? Am I?