choices we make determine the life we live.
poor choices make for a poor life.
good choices make for a good life.
The question becomes, how in that moment do we know the difference?
Hope is a beautiful thing
but if we mix hope with time we have a desperate thing.
In school hope was mammoth. Teachers would proclaim from behind tall desks in high backed chairs
"You can be whatever you want to be!"
but as elementary school turned to middle turned to high turned to college that hope, that proclamation changed.
"You can be any of these choices!"
After college hope transformed again.
"You can be anything that's hiring within your field"
I hope you chose the right college. I hope you chose the right field.
Now in your mid 20's hope is still grand however it's certainly lost some of it's luster.
You can't get into any college you want.
Certain occupations that require early starts in life have now past by.
But we press on, in hope.
The other night I listened to a 40 year old man tell his story.
It was a story filled with regret and poor choices.
Of course when walking up the hill of life it's easy to turn around at it's peak and say, "I should and shouldn't have done these things" but during this man's life, during his choice making, how could he know?
It's scary to think about. In 15 years I'll be 40. 15 years.
15 years I'll look back at my 20's and wonder why I spent my days the way I am now. I'll wish I would have LIVED more. I'll wish I would have taken more risks...but it's a cowardly thing to do
for the old to look upon the young and tell them to LIVE.
If the old were to cowardly to truly live then what gives them any right? I would wager a bet that if given a second chance at youth the old after a little while would again become the same man as the first go round.
What are we to do with our lives?
My grandfather at 88 died Sunday morning
This man at 40 looks back with tears at the life he's built
and here I stand at 25 wondering what the hell to make of all of this.
Is the purpose of life to just survive as long as possible?
what good is 88 if the last 20 were spent in front of a tv?
Why doesn't a man at 40 realize he may have 40 more...why not find great hope in that?
at 25 I already carry with me this ball and chain of regrets. I can only imagine what 15 more years will do to the size of this iron ball.
choices mixed with addiction, mixed with fear, mixed with apathy, creates a great deal of regret at any age.
And so another mistake is added to my story. Another chapter closes.
But at 25 teachers can still state from behind their desks,
"learn from your mistakes"
But the problem being this isn't the first time for this mistake and I wonder how many more?
Enough of them and 15 years will fly by and I will stand with nothing to show for my life but fear and failure.
"I built this house but it fell down before I got one night of sleep So how does that beat all the fools who never tried. They missed the moon in rented rooms, traded stories over food I worked alone, broke my bones with all my pride."
-Levi Weaver
I've spent nearly the past two years building something. Last month I had finally earned what I had worked so hard for. All the risks, all the fears, all the pressing forward, all the pain. I had finally earned it. After one short ugly month the house fell down.
How does that beat all the fools who never tried? I'm two years older now with two years less time in my 20's and I look at the fools around me who spent their nights renting intimacy and I see that now we are exactly the same. Except now the difference between 23 and 25 is an added regret and the pain to match it.
But life flows forward, always.
Sigur Rós - Varðeldur
poor choices make for a poor life.
good choices make for a good life.
The question becomes, how in that moment do we know the difference?
Hope is a beautiful thing
but if we mix hope with time we have a desperate thing.
In school hope was mammoth. Teachers would proclaim from behind tall desks in high backed chairs
"You can be whatever you want to be!"
but as elementary school turned to middle turned to high turned to college that hope, that proclamation changed.
"You can be any of these choices!"
After college hope transformed again.
"You can be anything that's hiring within your field"
I hope you chose the right college. I hope you chose the right field.
Now in your mid 20's hope is still grand however it's certainly lost some of it's luster.
You can't get into any college you want.
Certain occupations that require early starts in life have now past by.
But we press on, in hope.
The other night I listened to a 40 year old man tell his story.
It was a story filled with regret and poor choices.
Of course when walking up the hill of life it's easy to turn around at it's peak and say, "I should and shouldn't have done these things" but during this man's life, during his choice making, how could he know?
It's scary to think about. In 15 years I'll be 40. 15 years.
15 years I'll look back at my 20's and wonder why I spent my days the way I am now. I'll wish I would have LIVED more. I'll wish I would have taken more risks...but it's a cowardly thing to do
for the old to look upon the young and tell them to LIVE.
If the old were to cowardly to truly live then what gives them any right? I would wager a bet that if given a second chance at youth the old after a little while would again become the same man as the first go round.
What are we to do with our lives?
My grandfather at 88 died Sunday morning
This man at 40 looks back with tears at the life he's built
and here I stand at 25 wondering what the hell to make of all of this.
Is the purpose of life to just survive as long as possible?
what good is 88 if the last 20 were spent in front of a tv?
Why doesn't a man at 40 realize he may have 40 more...why not find great hope in that?
at 25 I already carry with me this ball and chain of regrets. I can only imagine what 15 more years will do to the size of this iron ball.
choices mixed with addiction, mixed with fear, mixed with apathy, creates a great deal of regret at any age.
And so another mistake is added to my story. Another chapter closes.
But at 25 teachers can still state from behind their desks,
"learn from your mistakes"
But the problem being this isn't the first time for this mistake and I wonder how many more?
Enough of them and 15 years will fly by and I will stand with nothing to show for my life but fear and failure.
"I built this house but it fell down before I got one night of sleep So how does that beat all the fools who never tried. They missed the moon in rented rooms, traded stories over food I worked alone, broke my bones with all my pride."
-Levi Weaver
I've spent nearly the past two years building something. Last month I had finally earned what I had worked so hard for. All the risks, all the fears, all the pressing forward, all the pain. I had finally earned it. After one short ugly month the house fell down.
How does that beat all the fools who never tried? I'm two years older now with two years less time in my 20's and I look at the fools around me who spent their nights renting intimacy and I see that now we are exactly the same. Except now the difference between 23 and 25 is an added regret and the pain to match it.
But life flows forward, always.
Sigur Rós - Varðeldur