Eating what others throw away brings new thoughts into my head and feelings in my heart.
As I stand cutting left over tomatoes and slicing onions I think about how much one of these can feed. How much the earth gives to us and how little we need.
I think about how everything has such a different taste and yet it is all good.
A whole onion on its own is gross but hints of it among other foods enhances the whole bowl.
We take what the earth gives us. What pride it is to demand satisfaction of whatever we crave. Eating what is left over what has been thrown away creates a lifestyle of open hands. Pride cannot coexist with open hands.
The hardest part of going on an adventure is getting past my front porch. The beauty of the trees, the grass, the bushes, the sounds of the birds, the squirrels, the people walking, the cars rolling past, It seems like all my heart can take. How could I go any further than this place with so much beauty it would take a lifetime just to digest this tiny view.
Yet there is so much more. There are deserts, mountains, oceans, rivers, valleys, jungles, forests, caves, so many many places each of them too deep for one life and yet one is all I am given.
I think about evolution. I think about this world if God doesn't exist.
Why do we need rest?
Why do we walk on two legs?
Why are we so much more "advanced" than everything else?
How did plants and animals evolve?
Animals need plants to eat, What if the first animal wasn't near plants? what if there wasn't enough plants to sustain that single animals life? Who did that animal reproduce with? What if there wasn't enough food for that animal? What if those species were too different to reproduce? What if the plant didn't have enough nutrients for the animal? What if the animal ate something poisonous?
What if a cold winter killed off the plant? Drought? How did the plant get phosphorus without the animal to fertilize it how did the plant get nitrogen without other plants breaking down?
I sit here as I chew a tomato and I think about how tightly woven the earth is to create one simple tomato. The plant needs the sun, it also needs soil not just any soil but it must have nutrients in it. That nutrients had to come from other plants which needed other plants which... and the nutrients also have to come from animals which eat plants. Then along with sun and soil it needed rain. But rain needs so many things for it to happen too. It needs the sun to help evaporate the water in order to make clouds which needs a certain type of atmosphere. The clouds need wind to move them over where the tomato seed is laying. All of this and so much more for one plant to grow and bear it's fruit for a very small window. We have to come along and hope to find it and eat it not too soon and not too late...
I am utterly blown away and in awe when my head considers these things my heart listens romantically.
No God?
No creator?
How?
Then there is me, tiny me. I am alive for maybe 80 years, that is such a short time. What if I was blind?
However, the understanding that I have massive amounts of faith in there being a God doesn't mean I automatically believe my life is going to be bad ass and perfect.
As I see how many people are on the planet and how our resources although they are renewable are limited I begin to change my approach to life.
Jesus said we must become the servant of all just as He is.
What does that look like?
What if being the servant of all means cutting out pride in my life?
What does that look like?
Cutting out my desires and instead, seeking to live for God, Earth, and my brothers and sisters. Instead of following my desires to choose my meals what if I ate what was thrown away, what was available? Instead of chasing money and stepping on people to get power, what if I let others get promoted above me? What if I chose an entry level service job to stay at? What if instead of pursuing my desires for a wife and family I devoted myself to all of my friends to babysit, to serve, to work and clean, help them move.
The more Christians I talk to the more they seem to have this idea that God has good planned for all of us and that God wants us happy. God put those desires in me for a reason. But if we stop and think for a moment, there is only so much beach front property on this planet.
There are two sides to every coin.
For every marriage there is a man who doesn't get to be with that woman.
For every meal there is someone who doesn't get to eat that food.
For every job there is someone who didn't get hired.
Are we Christians called to grab what we can out of this life? Or are we called to be the servants? Are we called to fill in the gaps where no one else wants to?
Marriage is a beautiful thing
God doesn't want us to starve ourselves
God doesn't want us to be unemployed
But we shouldn't be grabbing and chasing and living with the same sort of pride as those who have not encountered love yet.
For a long time now I have been pining for a wife.
But I'm watching 3 couples I know go through divorce before reaching 3 years. Another of my friends looks like a fucking Stepford husband. All of this for what? because loneliness is too great a fear in our lives that we make choices we shouldn't? Or we quit a marriage because our selfish desires and pride aren't getting met by this other person?
Sometimes I don't know what hurts more
Loneliness or settling.
Why have I always wanted a wife? This whole time I have been missing what God has been giving. My hands have been closed along with my eyes.
But now I am starting to open them. I'm starting to ask why.
Not that I wasn't before but I think I'm asking why at the correct angles now.
It isn't good for man to be alone. That is truth
Happiness is only real when shared. That is very true.
But how limitless are the ways we can be not alone and we can share happiness!
What if I threw this life away so that others may find life in the trash!
I don't know what the hell I'm talking about. Sometimes if I let my head think too much it goes to really weird places. It feels good to empty those thoughts out though. I'll never have the balls to throw away my life like Jesus says because I fear no one would go with me and it isn't good to be alone.
But to take this one life I have and to spend it at a simple job, leaving the other opportunities open. To take this life and spend it eating food that's been thrown away, leaving the fresh food open. To take this life and spend it single, leaving the beautiful wonderful women for other men to marry. TO take this life and spend it childless, Fighting population rise, and allowing other hungry mouths to eat.
Is it possible to live like this for the duration of my life?
Could I really live with such conviction?
Would I get too lonely?
Would I get too depressed?
I've rambled too long I'm done thinking.
Perfect peace - John Waller
As I stand cutting left over tomatoes and slicing onions I think about how much one of these can feed. How much the earth gives to us and how little we need.
I think about how everything has such a different taste and yet it is all good.
A whole onion on its own is gross but hints of it among other foods enhances the whole bowl.
We take what the earth gives us. What pride it is to demand satisfaction of whatever we crave. Eating what is left over what has been thrown away creates a lifestyle of open hands. Pride cannot coexist with open hands.
The hardest part of going on an adventure is getting past my front porch. The beauty of the trees, the grass, the bushes, the sounds of the birds, the squirrels, the people walking, the cars rolling past, It seems like all my heart can take. How could I go any further than this place with so much beauty it would take a lifetime just to digest this tiny view.
Yet there is so much more. There are deserts, mountains, oceans, rivers, valleys, jungles, forests, caves, so many many places each of them too deep for one life and yet one is all I am given.
I think about evolution. I think about this world if God doesn't exist.
Why do we need rest?
Why do we walk on two legs?
Why are we so much more "advanced" than everything else?
How did plants and animals evolve?
Animals need plants to eat, What if the first animal wasn't near plants? what if there wasn't enough plants to sustain that single animals life? Who did that animal reproduce with? What if there wasn't enough food for that animal? What if those species were too different to reproduce? What if the plant didn't have enough nutrients for the animal? What if the animal ate something poisonous?
What if a cold winter killed off the plant? Drought? How did the plant get phosphorus without the animal to fertilize it how did the plant get nitrogen without other plants breaking down?
I sit here as I chew a tomato and I think about how tightly woven the earth is to create one simple tomato. The plant needs the sun, it also needs soil not just any soil but it must have nutrients in it. That nutrients had to come from other plants which needed other plants which... and the nutrients also have to come from animals which eat plants. Then along with sun and soil it needed rain. But rain needs so many things for it to happen too. It needs the sun to help evaporate the water in order to make clouds which needs a certain type of atmosphere. The clouds need wind to move them over where the tomato seed is laying. All of this and so much more for one plant to grow and bear it's fruit for a very small window. We have to come along and hope to find it and eat it not too soon and not too late...
I am utterly blown away and in awe when my head considers these things my heart listens romantically.
No God?
No creator?
How?
Then there is me, tiny me. I am alive for maybe 80 years, that is such a short time. What if I was blind?
However, the understanding that I have massive amounts of faith in there being a God doesn't mean I automatically believe my life is going to be bad ass and perfect.
As I see how many people are on the planet and how our resources although they are renewable are limited I begin to change my approach to life.
Jesus said we must become the servant of all just as He is.
What does that look like?
What if being the servant of all means cutting out pride in my life?
What does that look like?
Cutting out my desires and instead, seeking to live for God, Earth, and my brothers and sisters. Instead of following my desires to choose my meals what if I ate what was thrown away, what was available? Instead of chasing money and stepping on people to get power, what if I let others get promoted above me? What if I chose an entry level service job to stay at? What if instead of pursuing my desires for a wife and family I devoted myself to all of my friends to babysit, to serve, to work and clean, help them move.
The more Christians I talk to the more they seem to have this idea that God has good planned for all of us and that God wants us happy. God put those desires in me for a reason. But if we stop and think for a moment, there is only so much beach front property on this planet.
There are two sides to every coin.
For every marriage there is a man who doesn't get to be with that woman.
For every meal there is someone who doesn't get to eat that food.
For every job there is someone who didn't get hired.
Are we Christians called to grab what we can out of this life? Or are we called to be the servants? Are we called to fill in the gaps where no one else wants to?
Marriage is a beautiful thing
God doesn't want us to starve ourselves
God doesn't want us to be unemployed
But we shouldn't be grabbing and chasing and living with the same sort of pride as those who have not encountered love yet.
For a long time now I have been pining for a wife.
But I'm watching 3 couples I know go through divorce before reaching 3 years. Another of my friends looks like a fucking Stepford husband. All of this for what? because loneliness is too great a fear in our lives that we make choices we shouldn't? Or we quit a marriage because our selfish desires and pride aren't getting met by this other person?
Sometimes I don't know what hurts more
Loneliness or settling.
Why have I always wanted a wife? This whole time I have been missing what God has been giving. My hands have been closed along with my eyes.
But now I am starting to open them. I'm starting to ask why.
Not that I wasn't before but I think I'm asking why at the correct angles now.
It isn't good for man to be alone. That is truth
Happiness is only real when shared. That is very true.
But how limitless are the ways we can be not alone and we can share happiness!
What if I threw this life away so that others may find life in the trash!
I don't know what the hell I'm talking about. Sometimes if I let my head think too much it goes to really weird places. It feels good to empty those thoughts out though. I'll never have the balls to throw away my life like Jesus says because I fear no one would go with me and it isn't good to be alone.
But to take this one life I have and to spend it at a simple job, leaving the other opportunities open. To take this life and spend it eating food that's been thrown away, leaving the fresh food open. To take this life and spend it single, leaving the beautiful wonderful women for other men to marry. TO take this life and spend it childless, Fighting population rise, and allowing other hungry mouths to eat.
Is it possible to live like this for the duration of my life?
Could I really live with such conviction?
Would I get too lonely?
Would I get too depressed?
I've rambled too long I'm done thinking.
Perfect peace - John Waller