Call me Caitlyn
This whole week I've been thinking about transgender people. I have so many questions, thoughts, and opinions but I am not allowed to express myself. If I openly express myself I will be labeled as 'transphobic'
Drake Bell tweeted "Sorry....still calling you Bruce." and the man received an extreme amount of hate. This confuses me so much. The main focus of all of these human rights movements is to eliminate hate, eliminate bullying, and embrace acceptance. But then I see when someone disagrees with their opinions and ideas the same hate they fight against coming from their mouths.
It's as if hate isn't being eliminated but rather it is changing form. In the past if you were anything but heterosexual you received bullying and hate. Now if you do not instantly embrace and accept anything and everything you receive the hate and bullying.
Is that better? Is it any different?
Shouldn't we always fight hate with love. No matter from which direction it is coming from? If you view what someone is saying as ignorant then the best way to help that person see or to help that person change their heart certainly isn't from hateful angry rebukes.
Whether it is an ignorant person hating an LGBT individual or an LGBT person hating an ignorant individual. The result is still the same. Hurt. and no change.
In the past sexuality and gender-related slurs use to be the hurtful thing you could say to someone now it seems as if being called homophobic or transphobic has replaced that. The point isn't which one is right or better. I guess my point is that both are hateful hurtful terms. By both sides treating each other this way I lost respect for both sides.
I know as a heterosexual white middle class man I can never understand what it is like to be in any minority group whether that be gender, race, culture, sexual orientation but as far as I can I can kinda wrap my mind around the gay community. But this trans community really confuses me.
The gay community says I am a man and I am attracted to men. I understand that. I actually respect that for the honesty amidst all of the social pressure against it. But the trans community says I am a woman..but they aren't.
This is my ignorant transphobic opinions speaking that if I expressed outside of this letter to God I would receive much hate and angry for but I feel the need to express myself and I know God that You are love and You accept me no matter my thoughts and feelings.
If you are born a man but you feel as if you are a woman then you are a man... If you want to act like what our cultural norms for a woman are at this time in history that is fine. If anything the issue isn't the physical body of the individual the issue is how restrictive and limiting our cultures ideas of gender roles are. Why can't a man wear a dress? Why can't a man be named Caitlyn? Now I don't know what it's like to feel like a woman but be a man so I understand these thoughts are ignorant. But they are my thoughts and I need to express them because I'm confused.
If a man decided to tell everyone he is a woman and makes everyone call him a woman's name that doesn't make him a her. That isn't what being a woman is. Even pumping chemicals into your body and having surgery. Is that all that being a gender is? The whole idea feels very delusional. If a man wants to cross dress I would say we should lose the term and simply say the man wants to dress. Why do we have to label certain type of clothes as for men and women? What are clothes but thread and fabric. Is one arrangement of the thread more masculine or feminine? No, it's all just thread its all meaningless we are the ones who give it meaning and we are the ones who can take that power away.
I think the strange thing for me is when Caitlyn came out we are all suppose to erase that person's past. That person is no longer Bruce. That person no longer has a past. We are all suppose to ignore and forget where they have been and where they are coming from. That feels delusional. And if feels like we are supposed to enable that delusion and if I refuse I am hated and called transphobic. The GLAAD website says:
Perception is reality.
Is perception reality? Is that how we as a culture are suppose to live? We should treat people how ever they want us to treat them whether it is true or not? Putting on a dress, changing your name, and taking hormone treatments does not make you a woman. That is the reality. That is the truth of it. But the reality doesn't seem to matter. Caitlyn is Bruce. That is the reality. But that doesn't seem to matter.
I think this is the most difficult thing for me to come to terms with.
A gay man says he is a man and says he's attracted to men. I understand that. That doesn't seem to be delusional at all. In fact I respect that more than a gay man who tried to date women in order to fit in. That isn't the reality of the situation.
But people don't want to hear the word no. People don't want to be told you can't and you aren't.
Our country says you have the right to live however you want to live and be whoever you want to be. I guess I need to get in line with that. If a man wants me to call him a woman I guess I need to respect that no matter what the reality of the situation is.
But God, I feel like You want us to live in our limitations. I feel like You want us to come to terms with the reality of our lives. We worry about the effects our limitless cultural mentality is having on our planet like climate change, food scarcity, monocultures, pollution, cancer. These are all results of us humans not accepting the 'no' or the limitations of our reality.
I feel one day saying the word 'no' or 'can't' will be the worst thing you can say to another human. But boundaries and limitations are what makes us human. They are what makes life...life.
One day we will all die. This is a truth that no matter how much we don't like it or fight it, it will happen.
I think to wrap up all of this phobic ignorant close minded thoughts I have I will say this. We all have the right to our own opinions and we all have the right to disagree but in so doing we should always be loving and respectful. Humble and honest. Although I do not understand all of the ways people want to live in this country/this world I will always be respectful and humble in trying to understand and learn to live together in love. I will not hate those who disagree with me. I will not hate those who are disrespectful or hurtful. I will never treat someone with hate no matter how much I lack understanding for their lifestyle choices.
No matter if they are rapists, murderers, terrorists, people of different faiths, people of different races, people of different sexual orientation, people of different ages, I refuse to hate.
Elijah Aaron - Lover's Prayer
This whole week I've been thinking about transgender people. I have so many questions, thoughts, and opinions but I am not allowed to express myself. If I openly express myself I will be labeled as 'transphobic'
Drake Bell tweeted "Sorry....still calling you Bruce." and the man received an extreme amount of hate. This confuses me so much. The main focus of all of these human rights movements is to eliminate hate, eliminate bullying, and embrace acceptance. But then I see when someone disagrees with their opinions and ideas the same hate they fight against coming from their mouths.
It's as if hate isn't being eliminated but rather it is changing form. In the past if you were anything but heterosexual you received bullying and hate. Now if you do not instantly embrace and accept anything and everything you receive the hate and bullying.
Is that better? Is it any different?
Shouldn't we always fight hate with love. No matter from which direction it is coming from? If you view what someone is saying as ignorant then the best way to help that person see or to help that person change their heart certainly isn't from hateful angry rebukes.
Whether it is an ignorant person hating an LGBT individual or an LGBT person hating an ignorant individual. The result is still the same. Hurt. and no change.
In the past sexuality and gender-related slurs use to be the hurtful thing you could say to someone now it seems as if being called homophobic or transphobic has replaced that. The point isn't which one is right or better. I guess my point is that both are hateful hurtful terms. By both sides treating each other this way I lost respect for both sides.
I know as a heterosexual white middle class man I can never understand what it is like to be in any minority group whether that be gender, race, culture, sexual orientation but as far as I can I can kinda wrap my mind around the gay community. But this trans community really confuses me.
The gay community says I am a man and I am attracted to men. I understand that. I actually respect that for the honesty amidst all of the social pressure against it. But the trans community says I am a woman..but they aren't.
This is my ignorant transphobic opinions speaking that if I expressed outside of this letter to God I would receive much hate and angry for but I feel the need to express myself and I know God that You are love and You accept me no matter my thoughts and feelings.
If you are born a man but you feel as if you are a woman then you are a man... If you want to act like what our cultural norms for a woman are at this time in history that is fine. If anything the issue isn't the physical body of the individual the issue is how restrictive and limiting our cultures ideas of gender roles are. Why can't a man wear a dress? Why can't a man be named Caitlyn? Now I don't know what it's like to feel like a woman but be a man so I understand these thoughts are ignorant. But they are my thoughts and I need to express them because I'm confused.
If a man decided to tell everyone he is a woman and makes everyone call him a woman's name that doesn't make him a her. That isn't what being a woman is. Even pumping chemicals into your body and having surgery. Is that all that being a gender is? The whole idea feels very delusional. If a man wants to cross dress I would say we should lose the term and simply say the man wants to dress. Why do we have to label certain type of clothes as for men and women? What are clothes but thread and fabric. Is one arrangement of the thread more masculine or feminine? No, it's all just thread its all meaningless we are the ones who give it meaning and we are the ones who can take that power away.
I think the strange thing for me is when Caitlyn came out we are all suppose to erase that person's past. That person is no longer Bruce. That person no longer has a past. We are all suppose to ignore and forget where they have been and where they are coming from. That feels delusional. And if feels like we are supposed to enable that delusion and if I refuse I am hated and called transphobic. The GLAAD website says:
For some transgender people, being associated with their birth name is a tremendous source of anxiety, or it is simply a part of their life they wish to leave behind. Respect the name a transgender person is currently using. If you happen to know a transgender person's birth name (the name given to them when they were born, but which they no longer use), don't share it without that person's explicit permission. Sharing a transgender person's birth name and/or photos of a transgender person before their transition is an invasion of privacy, unless they have given you permission to do so.But that isn't how life works. We cannot erase our paths. It is how we became who we are. It is our story. It doesn't sound healthy. It isn't truthful. It isn't reality.
Perception is reality.
Is perception reality? Is that how we as a culture are suppose to live? We should treat people how ever they want us to treat them whether it is true or not? Putting on a dress, changing your name, and taking hormone treatments does not make you a woman. That is the reality. That is the truth of it. But the reality doesn't seem to matter. Caitlyn is Bruce. That is the reality. But that doesn't seem to matter.
I think this is the most difficult thing for me to come to terms with.
A gay man says he is a man and says he's attracted to men. I understand that. That doesn't seem to be delusional at all. In fact I respect that more than a gay man who tried to date women in order to fit in. That isn't the reality of the situation.
But people don't want to hear the word no. People don't want to be told you can't and you aren't.
Our country says you have the right to live however you want to live and be whoever you want to be. I guess I need to get in line with that. If a man wants me to call him a woman I guess I need to respect that no matter what the reality of the situation is.
But God, I feel like You want us to live in our limitations. I feel like You want us to come to terms with the reality of our lives. We worry about the effects our limitless cultural mentality is having on our planet like climate change, food scarcity, monocultures, pollution, cancer. These are all results of us humans not accepting the 'no' or the limitations of our reality.
I feel one day saying the word 'no' or 'can't' will be the worst thing you can say to another human. But boundaries and limitations are what makes us human. They are what makes life...life.
One day we will all die. This is a truth that no matter how much we don't like it or fight it, it will happen.
I think to wrap up all of this phobic ignorant close minded thoughts I have I will say this. We all have the right to our own opinions and we all have the right to disagree but in so doing we should always be loving and respectful. Humble and honest. Although I do not understand all of the ways people want to live in this country/this world I will always be respectful and humble in trying to understand and learn to live together in love. I will not hate those who disagree with me. I will not hate those who are disrespectful or hurtful. I will never treat someone with hate no matter how much I lack understanding for their lifestyle choices.
No matter if they are rapists, murderers, terrorists, people of different faiths, people of different races, people of different sexual orientation, people of different ages, I refuse to hate.
Elijah Aaron - Lover's Prayer