Today we leave for Colorado.
One night as Travis and I were walking back to the car after a night out drinking as the cold night air swept past us we he mentioned our dad's running into each other at the local bar in Wauseon.
Travis' relationship with his dad is very different from my relationship with mine.
It's strange to think about our dads meeting up and talking.
It's almost like two alternate realities colliding.
Even the fact that Travis' dad told him that he ran into my dad shows the contrast. They communicate to each other about their lives...
He said my dad had had a few and was speaking candidly. I can only assume that my dad was out getting drinks while my mom stayed home alone. Then Travis hesitated and he said my dad told his dad,
"I'm just mad at the kid for living out my dream in the big city."
As we walked my brain tried to process this. This information created so many questions, so many angles and ideas I didn't know how to or which way to approach it.
My small town lumberyard manager dad always had dreams of living his life in a city? He knows everyone in the town, he grew up a few miles out what does this even mean about how my dad has lived his life and how my did will continue his life?
Is my dad happy? Are my parents happy? Did he change over time? Did his wife change over time? Is this not the path he wanted?
Was he just drunk?
Most of my twenties I've spent trying to figure out life "wasting" my money exploring the planet. "Wasting" my time not earning money. "Wasting" my time breaking up and making up with exes.
This whole time I always assumed my parents viewed me as this inefficient wanderer. I assumed my dad was disappointed that I wasn't making serious money climbing a company ladder. Disappointed I wasn't putting a down payment on a house. Disappointed I wasn't married providing them with grandchildren and a daughter-in-law my mom could shop with.
Living the dream in the big city?
What dream?
I'm thousands of dollars in debt
I drive a 14 year old car
I live in an attic with roommates I depend on for cheap rent
I use to go on a date a week with women I felt nothing towards until finally just caving to singleness
What kind of a dream is this?
I'll be 30 in 9 months
When Doug was 30
He was running his own store, married, father of one, and a homeowner.
Isn't that the dream?
To dig roots by owning a home
To be known by a woman
To give birth to the next generation
To lead and answer to no one at work
Doug Adam
1955 1987 00 Born
1973 2006 18 Graduated High School
1982 2012 26 Married
1985 2017 29 Became a father
1987 2020 32 Had me
A dad jealous of his son?
His son having little to show for his 3 decades on the planet?
He was either drunk talking out his ass
Or he knows so little about my life that his big city fantasy is completely disconnected from the reality of my life.
I wonder, if I decide to have children, the conversation I will have with my child's best friend's parent drunk at a bar in my 60's what will I have to say about the life I've lived, what will I have to say about the life they have lived?
In 2048 I'll be the same age my dad is today إن شاء الله, I wonder what I will think of my life as I look back onto my timeline.
And now we board the plane and fly to the Rockies, while they snowboard I'll attempt a few solo summits. I wonder if my dad has ever seen the Rocky Mountain Range.
Mahalia - Borrowers
One night as Travis and I were walking back to the car after a night out drinking as the cold night air swept past us we he mentioned our dad's running into each other at the local bar in Wauseon.
Travis' relationship with his dad is very different from my relationship with mine.
It's strange to think about our dads meeting up and talking.
It's almost like two alternate realities colliding.
Even the fact that Travis' dad told him that he ran into my dad shows the contrast. They communicate to each other about their lives...
He said my dad had had a few and was speaking candidly. I can only assume that my dad was out getting drinks while my mom stayed home alone. Then Travis hesitated and he said my dad told his dad,
"I'm just mad at the kid for living out my dream in the big city."
As we walked my brain tried to process this. This information created so many questions, so many angles and ideas I didn't know how to or which way to approach it.
My small town lumberyard manager dad always had dreams of living his life in a city? He knows everyone in the town, he grew up a few miles out what does this even mean about how my dad has lived his life and how my did will continue his life?
Is my dad happy? Are my parents happy? Did he change over time? Did his wife change over time? Is this not the path he wanted?
Was he just drunk?
Most of my twenties I've spent trying to figure out life "wasting" my money exploring the planet. "Wasting" my time not earning money. "Wasting" my time breaking up and making up with exes.
This whole time I always assumed my parents viewed me as this inefficient wanderer. I assumed my dad was disappointed that I wasn't making serious money climbing a company ladder. Disappointed I wasn't putting a down payment on a house. Disappointed I wasn't married providing them with grandchildren and a daughter-in-law my mom could shop with.
Living the dream in the big city?
What dream?
I'm thousands of dollars in debt
I drive a 14 year old car
I live in an attic with roommates I depend on for cheap rent
I use to go on a date a week with women I felt nothing towards until finally just caving to singleness
What kind of a dream is this?
I'll be 30 in 9 months
When Doug was 30
He was running his own store, married, father of one, and a homeowner.
Isn't that the dream?
To dig roots by owning a home
To be known by a woman
To give birth to the next generation
To lead and answer to no one at work
Doug Adam
1955 1987 00 Born
1973 2006 18 Graduated High School
1982 2012 26 Married
1985 2017 29 Became a father
1987 2020 32 Had me
A dad jealous of his son?
His son having little to show for his 3 decades on the planet?
He was either drunk talking out his ass
Or he knows so little about my life that his big city fantasy is completely disconnected from the reality of my life.
I wonder, if I decide to have children, the conversation I will have with my child's best friend's parent drunk at a bar in my 60's what will I have to say about the life I've lived, what will I have to say about the life they have lived?
In 2048 I'll be the same age my dad is today إن شاء الله, I wonder what I will think of my life as I look back onto my timeline.
And now we board the plane and fly to the Rockies, while they snowboard I'll attempt a few solo summits. I wonder if my dad has ever seen the Rocky Mountain Range.
Mahalia - Borrowers