My legs are in quick sand
It feels as if I'm in an elevator but the building is moving up and down and I am still
Being healthy keeps me alive longer but what sort of life if it's painful and prolonged?
They say Jesus was tempted in every way as I am, yet He did not sin.
I wonder if Jesus understands certain unhealthy actions from a human so that that human can get out of a rut.
Jesus was tempted in EVERY way?
Yet He did not sin.
I'm no Jesus.
I've been trying to do it right, I've been living a lonely life, I've been sleeping here instead, I've been sleeping in my bed.
You can do everything the healthy way, You can live to be 100 but that always seems to have a touch of luck and certain amount of circumstance involved.
All men are created equal but after our first breath the gap only widens.
I wonder how you felt about Judas.
After sunset, he and the Twelve were sitting around the table. During the meal, he said, “I have something hard but important to say to you: One of you is going to hand me over to the conspirators.” They were stunned, and then began to ask, one after another, “It isn’t me, is it, Master?” Jesus answered, “The one who hands me over is someone I eat with daily, one who passes me food at the table. In one sense the Son of Man is entering into a way of treachery well-marked by the Scriptures—no surprises here. In another sense that man who turns him in, turns traitor to the Son of Man—better never to have been born than do this!” Then Judas, already turned traitor, said, “It isn’t me, is it, Rabbi?” Jesus said, “Don’t play games with me, Judas.”...When he came back the next time, he said, “Are you going to sleep on and make a night of it? My time is up, the Son of Man is about to be handed over to the hands of sinners. Get up! Let’s get going! My betrayer is here.” The words were barely out of his mouth when Judas (the one from the Twelve) showed up, and with him a gang from the high priests and religious leaders brandishing swords and clubs. The betrayer had worked out a sign with them: “The one I kiss, that’s the one—seize him.” He went straight to Jesus, greeted him, “How are you, Rabbi?” and kissed him. Jesus said, “Friend, why this charade?”
-Matthew 26
After he said these things, Jesus became visibly upset, and then he told them why. “One of you is going to betray me.” The disciples looked around at one another, wondering who on earth he was talking about. One of the disciples, the one Jesus loved dearly, was reclining against him, his head on his shoulder. Peter motioned to him to ask who Jesus might be talking about. So, being the closest, he said, “Master, who?” Jesus said, “The one to whom I give this crust of bread after I’ve dipped it.” Then he dipped the crust and gave it to Judas, son of Simon the Iscariot. As soon as the bread was in his hand, Satan entered him. “What you must do,” said Jesus, “do. Do it and get it over with.”...Jesus, having prayed this prayer, left with his disciples and crossed over the brook Kidron at a place where there was a garden. He and his disciples entered it. Judas, his betrayer, knew the place because Jesus and his disciples went there often. So Judas led the way to the garden, and the Roman soldiers and police sent by the high priests and Pharisees followed. They arrived there with lanterns and torches and swords. Jesus, knowing by now everything that was coming down on him, went out and met them. He said, “Who are you after?” They answered, “Jesus the Nazarene.” He said, “That’s me.” The soldiers recoiled, totally taken aback. Judas, his betrayer, stood out like a sore thumb. Jesus asked again, “Who are you after?” They answered, “Jesus the Nazarene.” “I told you,” said Jesus, “that’s me. I’m the one. So if it’s me you’re after, let these others go.” (This validated the words in his prayer, “I didn’t lose one of those you gave.”)
-John 18
What you must do, do.
Do it and get it over with.
Did You command Judas to betray You?
In another sense that man who turns him in, turns traitor to the Son of Man—better never to have been born than do this!
Why did You knit Judas together in his mother's womb then?
Friend, why this charade?
and yet You call Judas friend?
What Judas must do, he did it and got it over with and it would have been better had Judas never been born yet after all of this You still call him friend?
I wonder if Jesus understands certain unhealthy actions from a human so that that human can get out of a rut.
Do you believe you're missing out
That everything good is happening somewhere else?
But with nobody in your bed
The night's hard to get through
And I will die all alone
And when I arrive I won't know anyone
Well, Jesus Christ, I'm alone again
So what did you do those three days you were dead?
because this problem's going to last more than the weekend.
Well, Jesus Christ, I'm not scared to die,
I'm a little bit scared of what comes after
Do I get the gold chariot?
Do I float through the ceiling?
Do I divide and pull apart?
because my bright is too slight to hold back all my dark
And the ship went down in sight of land
And at the gates, does Thomas ask to see my hands?
What do You want me to do Jesus? I know You don't want me to act unhealthy. I know You don't want me to sin to get out of a rut but what would You have me do? I only get one life and there are things I'd like to experience, things I'd like to find You in. But I can't put more sand in the hourglass and I can't back up to change what I've sown. Why don't You tell me what You want me to do? You and I both know I don't want to but are You simply telling me: "What you must do, do it and get it over with?"
These battles with my mind are unbearable at night.
I would give everything never to think about it again, I can only hold on to the things I want to lose.
-Why I'm not where you are 5/21/63, Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close
From Indian Lakes - I Don't Know You
It feels as if I'm in an elevator but the building is moving up and down and I am still
Being healthy keeps me alive longer but what sort of life if it's painful and prolonged?
They say Jesus was tempted in every way as I am, yet He did not sin.
I wonder if Jesus understands certain unhealthy actions from a human so that that human can get out of a rut.
Jesus was tempted in EVERY way?
Yet He did not sin.
I'm no Jesus.
I've been trying to do it right, I've been living a lonely life, I've been sleeping here instead, I've been sleeping in my bed.
You can do everything the healthy way, You can live to be 100 but that always seems to have a touch of luck and certain amount of circumstance involved.
All men are created equal but after our first breath the gap only widens.
I wonder how you felt about Judas.
After sunset, he and the Twelve were sitting around the table. During the meal, he said, “I have something hard but important to say to you: One of you is going to hand me over to the conspirators.” They were stunned, and then began to ask, one after another, “It isn’t me, is it, Master?” Jesus answered, “The one who hands me over is someone I eat with daily, one who passes me food at the table. In one sense the Son of Man is entering into a way of treachery well-marked by the Scriptures—no surprises here. In another sense that man who turns him in, turns traitor to the Son of Man—better never to have been born than do this!” Then Judas, already turned traitor, said, “It isn’t me, is it, Rabbi?” Jesus said, “Don’t play games with me, Judas.”...When he came back the next time, he said, “Are you going to sleep on and make a night of it? My time is up, the Son of Man is about to be handed over to the hands of sinners. Get up! Let’s get going! My betrayer is here.” The words were barely out of his mouth when Judas (the one from the Twelve) showed up, and with him a gang from the high priests and religious leaders brandishing swords and clubs. The betrayer had worked out a sign with them: “The one I kiss, that’s the one—seize him.” He went straight to Jesus, greeted him, “How are you, Rabbi?” and kissed him. Jesus said, “Friend, why this charade?”
-Matthew 26
After he said these things, Jesus became visibly upset, and then he told them why. “One of you is going to betray me.” The disciples looked around at one another, wondering who on earth he was talking about. One of the disciples, the one Jesus loved dearly, was reclining against him, his head on his shoulder. Peter motioned to him to ask who Jesus might be talking about. So, being the closest, he said, “Master, who?” Jesus said, “The one to whom I give this crust of bread after I’ve dipped it.” Then he dipped the crust and gave it to Judas, son of Simon the Iscariot. As soon as the bread was in his hand, Satan entered him. “What you must do,” said Jesus, “do. Do it and get it over with.”...Jesus, having prayed this prayer, left with his disciples and crossed over the brook Kidron at a place where there was a garden. He and his disciples entered it. Judas, his betrayer, knew the place because Jesus and his disciples went there often. So Judas led the way to the garden, and the Roman soldiers and police sent by the high priests and Pharisees followed. They arrived there with lanterns and torches and swords. Jesus, knowing by now everything that was coming down on him, went out and met them. He said, “Who are you after?” They answered, “Jesus the Nazarene.” He said, “That’s me.” The soldiers recoiled, totally taken aback. Judas, his betrayer, stood out like a sore thumb. Jesus asked again, “Who are you after?” They answered, “Jesus the Nazarene.” “I told you,” said Jesus, “that’s me. I’m the one. So if it’s me you’re after, let these others go.” (This validated the words in his prayer, “I didn’t lose one of those you gave.”)
-John 18
What you must do, do.
Do it and get it over with.
Did You command Judas to betray You?
In another sense that man who turns him in, turns traitor to the Son of Man—better never to have been born than do this!
Why did You knit Judas together in his mother's womb then?
Friend, why this charade?
and yet You call Judas friend?
What Judas must do, he did it and got it over with and it would have been better had Judas never been born yet after all of this You still call him friend?
I wonder if Jesus understands certain unhealthy actions from a human so that that human can get out of a rut.
Do you believe you're missing out
That everything good is happening somewhere else?
But with nobody in your bed
The night's hard to get through
And I will die all alone
And when I arrive I won't know anyone
Well, Jesus Christ, I'm alone again
So what did you do those three days you were dead?
because this problem's going to last more than the weekend.
Well, Jesus Christ, I'm not scared to die,
I'm a little bit scared of what comes after
Do I get the gold chariot?
Do I float through the ceiling?
Do I divide and pull apart?
because my bright is too slight to hold back all my dark
And the ship went down in sight of land
And at the gates, does Thomas ask to see my hands?
What do You want me to do Jesus? I know You don't want me to act unhealthy. I know You don't want me to sin to get out of a rut but what would You have me do? I only get one life and there are things I'd like to experience, things I'd like to find You in. But I can't put more sand in the hourglass and I can't back up to change what I've sown. Why don't You tell me what You want me to do? You and I both know I don't want to but are You simply telling me: "What you must do, do it and get it over with?"
These battles with my mind are unbearable at night.
I would give everything never to think about it again, I can only hold on to the things I want to lose.
-Why I'm not where you are 5/21/63, Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close
From Indian Lakes - I Don't Know You