When this letter posts I will be in the Great Smoky Mountains alone waking in my tent to the Tennessee sunrise. Figured I'd write a bit ahead of time since I will not really be in the mood to pull out technology on the Appalachian Trail. That isn't to say my brain won't have much to express once I am back home, but rather in the moment I'd prefer to not waste my precious fragile eyesight in man's computer machine but God's unique pale blue dot.
Don't wanna steal you
Of a young woman's light
To me it's perfect
Just wanna do you right
-Offering, The Avett Brothers
June first is four days away. But I don't know what that means or matters.
She's mentioned to me before she's jumped from one relationship to the next, never taking time for herself. She's mentioned never having a one night stand, never kissing someone she didn't know their middle name, never simply being single.
This Avett brothers song always came to my mind when she would say things like this... but then again I thought the lyrics were:
Don't wanna steal you from a young woman's life to me it's perfect, just wanna do you right.
I always understood the line to mean the man loves her but to pin her down in a relationship would mean to steal her freedom, to steal her young woman's life.
The singer professes he sees her young woman life as perfect and by tying her down, in so doing he steals from her the very thing he finds so perfect about her.
Earlier this month I was reminded of the letter Kelly shared with me in July.
And I've known others
And I've loved others too
But I loved them cause they were stepping stones
On a staircase to you
I've been taught life's greats lessons in wisdom through failure. My rubble of failure compiling to create my stepping stones on a staircase to what I don't know.
But I do know that Kelly needed s p a c e. It did not matter what I needed or what I wanted. That's how relationships work. We tether ourselves so closely to another that their independent decisions can at times be our decisions whether the other part wants it or not like walking on a sleeping leg.
I was once told by a coach in high school:
Wise people learn from other people's mistakes
Smart people learn from their own mistakes
Dumb people never learn
I suppose I'd like to consider myself a smart person based on that criteria.
Again it doesn't matter how ready, how sure, how strong my feelings, how right, how good, how anticipated, how perfect it seems to me and prepared I am
When we talk about love
relationships
otherness
one party need only 50% of the vote in order to have 100% the decision making power.
The more wisdom through failures I learn the more I've come to realize just how true the phrase "timing is everything" really is. It is a profound truth timing is everything.
Who can say what is good and what is evil?
Who can say what is best or not?
All I can do is live my life authentically acknowledging the things I want in my life, admitting the mistakes I have made, and attempting to grasp the life I want to live.
I have very strong feelings towards her and I haven't been in anything serous or even met a woman I've felt nearly this much about in about a year. I know what I want and I'm not afraid to try for what I want.
But there is so much more to this situation than my timing, my wants, and my life.
There is the "otherness"
the stealing of a young woman's life.
So what more can I do? Who can say what is best or not?
I suppose I should progress with honestly trusting the other to make a similar gesture of honesty.
To suppress my feelings in order to try to help her get what is best for her just sounds controlling and unfair.
I believe to stay in a relationship you feel nothing towards in an attempt to protect the other is equally as controlling and dishonest as not expressing feelings towards someone with the same good natured intent.
Like a government pulling levers behind the public's back in the name of protection.
ignorance is not bliss. For ignorance is not reality, it is a lack of reality and truth and thus whatever bliss is experienced is a fictional reality thus cannot possibly be true bliss.
I'm rambling now... I guess all I am trying to say is
...Just wanna do you right
Geotic - Nav
Don't wanna steal you
Of a young woman's light
To me it's perfect
Just wanna do you right
-Offering, The Avett Brothers
June first is four days away. But I don't know what that means or matters.
She's mentioned to me before she's jumped from one relationship to the next, never taking time for herself. She's mentioned never having a one night stand, never kissing someone she didn't know their middle name, never simply being single.
This Avett brothers song always came to my mind when she would say things like this... but then again I thought the lyrics were:
Don't wanna steal you from a young woman's life to me it's perfect, just wanna do you right.
I always understood the line to mean the man loves her but to pin her down in a relationship would mean to steal her freedom, to steal her young woman's life.
The singer professes he sees her young woman life as perfect and by tying her down, in so doing he steals from her the very thing he finds so perfect about her.
Earlier this month I was reminded of the letter Kelly shared with me in July.
And I've known others
And I've loved others too
But I loved them cause they were stepping stones
On a staircase to you
I've been taught life's greats lessons in wisdom through failure. My rubble of failure compiling to create my stepping stones on a staircase to what I don't know.
But I do know that Kelly needed s p a c e. It did not matter what I needed or what I wanted. That's how relationships work. We tether ourselves so closely to another that their independent decisions can at times be our decisions whether the other part wants it or not like walking on a sleeping leg.
I was once told by a coach in high school:
Wise people learn from other people's mistakes
Smart people learn from their own mistakes
Dumb people never learn
I suppose I'd like to consider myself a smart person based on that criteria.
Again it doesn't matter how ready, how sure, how strong my feelings, how right, how good, how anticipated, how perfect it seems to me and prepared I am
When we talk about love
relationships
otherness
one party need only 50% of the vote in order to have 100% the decision making power.
The more wisdom through failures I learn the more I've come to realize just how true the phrase "timing is everything" really is. It is a profound truth timing is everything.
Who can say what is good and what is evil?
Who can say what is best or not?
All I can do is live my life authentically acknowledging the things I want in my life, admitting the mistakes I have made, and attempting to grasp the life I want to live.
I have very strong feelings towards her and I haven't been in anything serous or even met a woman I've felt nearly this much about in about a year. I know what I want and I'm not afraid to try for what I want.
But there is so much more to this situation than my timing, my wants, and my life.
There is the "otherness"
the stealing of a young woman's life.
So what more can I do? Who can say what is best or not?
I suppose I should progress with honestly trusting the other to make a similar gesture of honesty.
To suppress my feelings in order to try to help her get what is best for her just sounds controlling and unfair.
I believe to stay in a relationship you feel nothing towards in an attempt to protect the other is equally as controlling and dishonest as not expressing feelings towards someone with the same good natured intent.
Like a government pulling levers behind the public's back in the name of protection.
ignorance is not bliss. For ignorance is not reality, it is a lack of reality and truth and thus whatever bliss is experienced is a fictional reality thus cannot possibly be true bliss.
I'm rambling now... I guess all I am trying to say is
...Just wanna do you right
Geotic - Nav