I'm starting to like Tem more and more, like a lot.
I don't know, this makes me nervous because there's only one way to go once it gets on this level and that's to fuck it up and lose this amazing woman.
I'm liking her more, which means I'm wanting her around more, which means she's in my life more, which means she's becoming a part of me. Two things could happen.
1: I start taking her for granted which a couple weeks ago I was already nervous about that happening.
2: I start getting more and more insecure around her because she sees more of me and means more to me.
I guess there's a third option where this just keeps getting better, we keep seeing more of each other and learning more...but I think trust is hard for the both of us and I think the more the other means to us the more anxiety is instilled in the trust. No one wants to be the trusting one in the relationship while the other one isn't feeling it as much.
It's a Trust Cold War
who will press the button first?
Or maybe that's just how I think and that probably isn't healthy. As soon as something starts to be too good to be true my instincts tell me it'll come crashing down so you might as well start backing out now to soften the fall.
I don't want to view this in that way. I want to trust her, she says the best things, she says all the things I want to her but I've also been told these things before and they usually precede the break up talk followed by a lot of "I did mean those things...when I said them"
Tem is just so perfect. She's so amazing I keep finding myself taking her for granted.
It's almost too natural and too easy to be with her.
She makes me forget that past relationships would have fought about things we seem to laugh about. Past relationships would have butted heads on certain minor things that we seem to roll right through.
Last week, after brunch at the German Village Coffee shop we split ways to change our clothes before we went on a hike while the weather was warm and the leaves were beautiful. After we split I couldn't stop thinking about how I wasn't thinking about how amazing she is.
We waited for brunch for over an hour and it seemed like 3 minutes. I wanted to spend the day with her and she wanted that too. I picked a metro park and she was cool with it. We both wanted to get a drink out and wind down with a movie after... If we have something we disagree on we solve it without a fight, and actually it isn't a compromise or at least it doesn't feel like a compromise it feels like we understand where the other is coming from so we both want it.
I don't know how else to describe whatever is happening other than I must be taking her for granted.
I'm worried about a birthday present for her, I'm worried about a Christmas present for her... I can't begin to express how I feel about her through a gift.
I try to look her in the eyes and tell her I really like her, I try to tell her this is so great but my words don't seem to quite scratch the itch, they don't exactly express the sensation of having her in my life. She not only gets along with my friends but my friends like her and her friends are all great.
I've had past relationships where all their friends say we aren't good together. Or mind say it about us but this isn't anything like that.
Tem is amazing, We've been hanging out constantly it seems for three and a half months and it feels like it's only been three weeks and it feels like it's not nearly been enough time with her every time we are together. Last weekend when the work week started I didn't want her to go. I didn't want the weekend to end even though I had neglected all my planning and responsibilities to get more time with her, it wasn't enough.
It never is.
What the hell is happening to me?
Who. Is. She.
Sara Bareilles and the Broadway Cast of Waitress Perform
I don't know, this makes me nervous because there's only one way to go once it gets on this level and that's to fuck it up and lose this amazing woman.
I'm liking her more, which means I'm wanting her around more, which means she's in my life more, which means she's becoming a part of me. Two things could happen.
1: I start taking her for granted which a couple weeks ago I was already nervous about that happening.
2: I start getting more and more insecure around her because she sees more of me and means more to me.
I guess there's a third option where this just keeps getting better, we keep seeing more of each other and learning more...but I think trust is hard for the both of us and I think the more the other means to us the more anxiety is instilled in the trust. No one wants to be the trusting one in the relationship while the other one isn't feeling it as much.
It's a Trust Cold War
who will press the button first?
Or maybe that's just how I think and that probably isn't healthy. As soon as something starts to be too good to be true my instincts tell me it'll come crashing down so you might as well start backing out now to soften the fall.
I don't want to view this in that way. I want to trust her, she says the best things, she says all the things I want to her but I've also been told these things before and they usually precede the break up talk followed by a lot of "I did mean those things...when I said them"
Tem is just so perfect. She's so amazing I keep finding myself taking her for granted.
It's almost too natural and too easy to be with her.
She makes me forget that past relationships would have fought about things we seem to laugh about. Past relationships would have butted heads on certain minor things that we seem to roll right through.
Last week, after brunch at the German Village Coffee shop we split ways to change our clothes before we went on a hike while the weather was warm and the leaves were beautiful. After we split I couldn't stop thinking about how I wasn't thinking about how amazing she is.
We waited for brunch for over an hour and it seemed like 3 minutes. I wanted to spend the day with her and she wanted that too. I picked a metro park and she was cool with it. We both wanted to get a drink out and wind down with a movie after... If we have something we disagree on we solve it without a fight, and actually it isn't a compromise or at least it doesn't feel like a compromise it feels like we understand where the other is coming from so we both want it.
I don't know how else to describe whatever is happening other than I must be taking her for granted.
I'm worried about a birthday present for her, I'm worried about a Christmas present for her... I can't begin to express how I feel about her through a gift.
I try to look her in the eyes and tell her I really like her, I try to tell her this is so great but my words don't seem to quite scratch the itch, they don't exactly express the sensation of having her in my life. She not only gets along with my friends but my friends like her and her friends are all great.
I've had past relationships where all their friends say we aren't good together. Or mind say it about us but this isn't anything like that.
Tem is amazing, We've been hanging out constantly it seems for three and a half months and it feels like it's only been three weeks and it feels like it's not nearly been enough time with her every time we are together. Last weekend when the work week started I didn't want her to go. I didn't want the weekend to end even though I had neglected all my planning and responsibilities to get more time with her, it wasn't enough.
It never is.
What the hell is happening to me?
Who. Is. She.
Sara Bareilles and the Broadway Cast of Waitress Perform