Dear 29 year old Adam,
I've just turned 28. This year began with the shaving of my #yearofthebeard14 and an Ohio State national championship. I went on a trip to Egypt. #nilestylewithkyle. Easter weekend Bea and I started dating again. I was accepted into Ashland's Bachelor plus teacher licensure program. We got the plot next to the Arawak garden thus doubling our land for this season. I spent Memorial Day weekend in Colorado with Bea and her mom. Brian was ordained in June and both Brian and Travis finished their masters degrees. Same sex marriage was legalized this year. We went to Folly Beach for 4th of July weekend. Bea and I broke up in early October. Sealscott got married at St. Pete Beach in Florida. This fall has been insane. All I do is work then come home and study for 3-4 hours a night. Brian moved to Cincinnati and Ellen moved to Cleveland. Lauren (Brian's ex) lived with us for the month of September then Claire moved in. Now it's Melissa, Travis, Claire, and I still at 407 Tibet Rd. Marijuana was on the ballot but didn't pass in Ohio. Probably will next year. My Cars transmission died so I spent Thanksgiving alone in Columbus.
Things I'm doing now:
I'm still working at the VECC at the church. I'm in school to get my license for teaching. I've been struggling a lot this year. If you couldn't tell by reading my thoughts this past year. I'm so confused. The older I get the more blurry truth seems to be. I'm not sure if this is just a season and on the other side of it I will become more tempered or if it only gets more confusing as life goes. I guess we will see won't we? Man I've been thinking a lot about death and the very finite amount of time I have left in this life. Even as you are reading this now it means we are one year closer to the end. It's strange to think as I can just click one button and read the thoughts of the younger man I once was but that's as real as it gets. I can't go back none of us can. We move forward. It's all we can do whether we want to or not. One day I will read this and think back to when I was in school to be a teacher. One day will be my last day in my career. One day will be my last day as a student. The present is so fleeting. How strange and difficult to imagine my 60th birthday but one day it will be behind me and all of this will have seemed to be such a quick blur. Sorry I suppose I'm supposed to be talking about what I am doing now. I'm single. I'm not sure how I even feel about marriage at this point. So much uncertainty in it. Which is the more rewarding route to stay with someone until we die or to let them go and grow as they please? I guess the main things currently are work and school. I know what I want to be and I'm taking those steps that's been the focus. That and deepening my roots with my friends.
Things I hope you're doing:
I hope you passed that damn CORE test we have to take next year. I also hope you're about to start your student teaching in the spring preparing to graduate and find a job! I hope you still hang out with your friends as much as you are right now. I hope you gardened more next season. Do you still have the long hair? I'd assume you do because I'm really loving it right now. I wonder if you're still single. No pressure either way. I wonder if you've found any peace with this whole death issue. I wonder if you still stress and wonder about it before you sleep and when you run. I hope you're still practicing the guitar I did a terrible job with that this year but maybe you will do better. I hope you managed to travel some place new this year maybe not out of the country but a new place to hike or camp. Damn you're in your last year of your 20's now...I wonder what that's like? I've always talked up my 30's and how great they are going to be but since it's just us right now I can be real and say I have a huge fear of getting old. I've never been in my 30's before... Try to think about when you're 60 and how you will view your 30's I'm sure your perspective will be much more soft. I'm just glad I'm not turning 29 right now. But the time will come as always we move forward. I hope you bought two jars and some pebbles. One jar filled with a pebble for each month you've lived, the other jar with the pebble of how many months left until I'm 85. We need to put some perspective into this short single life.
Things I've learned since turning 27:
What the hell have I learned? I feel like I learned how much I don't know. I've learned that maybe everything I've known is wrong. What does that mean? I've learned the value of my friendships or as we are calling it now my squad. I've learned that finding someone isn't the most important thing in life. But I don't know what the most important thing is. I want you to remember all of those horrible fights with exgirlfriends. Remember that time you drove over to Bea's house and she was so pissed at you. You sat with her on her front steps. She wouldn't look at you, she wouldn't speak to you. She wouldn't let you put your hand on her back. What if your marriage got to that point? What if there was no fixing it? I've been watching the Sopranos I just watched the episode where Carmela finally had enough of Tony's neglect. That episode was really powerful to me. Imagine how he made his wife feel. How terrible her stomach must have hurt. Imagine being kicked out of your own house sleeping on the couch of a friends or in a hotel. Kicked out of your own home. Imagine how your children would handle it. Marriage and children are such huge releases of control. What would it be like to live with someone you have no control over? What would it be like if one day she was throwing all of my things in the driveway and telling me I couldn't be inside my own home with my own wife and my own kids. We only get one shot at this life. I never want to experience that in this one life. I'm going to work very hard to make sure I don't end up in a marriage like that. Adam listen to me, I don't care how much older you get before marriage, living alone would be infinitely better than hearing the woman you've committed your life to tell you she doesn't want you anymore. Remember that fight with Whitney when you were in college when you were at her house and she just walked into the woods behind her house? Ugh We've had some terrible fights and we've caused such pain to the women we've loved. It's kinda crazy to think about how much power we have, more than we probably know and how much power we give also. So many ugly fights, how ugly I am capable of becoming... Anyway as a working adult student who has finally found what I want to pursue as a career I guess what I have learned in everything is, don't rush it. Don't rush any part of life. Don't rush the career. Don't rush marriage. Don't rush buying a house. Don't rush children. Slow down and do it right the first time so you only have to do it once. Because let's face it Adam we only get to do it once. Don't rush but don't let it slip by. As Special Agent Dale Cooper says in Twin Peaks, "I'm going to let you in on a little secret. Every day, once a day, give yourself a present. Don’t plan it, don’t wait for it, just let it happen. It could be a new shirt at the men's store, a catnap in your office chair or two cups of good hot black coffee." I love you Adam, everything will be alright. I hope this letter finds you well.
1987 Born
1988 00
1989 01
1990 02
1991 03
1992 04
1993 05
1994 06 Started Grade School
1995 07
1996 08
1997 09
1998 10
1999 11
2000 12
2001 13
2002 14
2003 15
2004 16
2005 17
2006 18 Graduated High School
2007 19
2008 20
2009 21
2010 22 Graduated College
2011 23
2012 24
2013 25
2014 26
2015 27
I've just turned 28. This year began with the shaving of my #yearofthebeard14 and an Ohio State national championship. I went on a trip to Egypt. #nilestylewithkyle. Easter weekend Bea and I started dating again. I was accepted into Ashland's Bachelor plus teacher licensure program. We got the plot next to the Arawak garden thus doubling our land for this season. I spent Memorial Day weekend in Colorado with Bea and her mom. Brian was ordained in June and both Brian and Travis finished their masters degrees. Same sex marriage was legalized this year. We went to Folly Beach for 4th of July weekend. Bea and I broke up in early October. Sealscott got married at St. Pete Beach in Florida. This fall has been insane. All I do is work then come home and study for 3-4 hours a night. Brian moved to Cincinnati and Ellen moved to Cleveland. Lauren (Brian's ex) lived with us for the month of September then Claire moved in. Now it's Melissa, Travis, Claire, and I still at 407 Tibet Rd. Marijuana was on the ballot but didn't pass in Ohio. Probably will next year. My Cars transmission died so I spent Thanksgiving alone in Columbus.
Things I'm doing now:
I'm still working at the VECC at the church. I'm in school to get my license for teaching. I've been struggling a lot this year. If you couldn't tell by reading my thoughts this past year. I'm so confused. The older I get the more blurry truth seems to be. I'm not sure if this is just a season and on the other side of it I will become more tempered or if it only gets more confusing as life goes. I guess we will see won't we? Man I've been thinking a lot about death and the very finite amount of time I have left in this life. Even as you are reading this now it means we are one year closer to the end. It's strange to think as I can just click one button and read the thoughts of the younger man I once was but that's as real as it gets. I can't go back none of us can. We move forward. It's all we can do whether we want to or not. One day I will read this and think back to when I was in school to be a teacher. One day will be my last day in my career. One day will be my last day as a student. The present is so fleeting. How strange and difficult to imagine my 60th birthday but one day it will be behind me and all of this will have seemed to be such a quick blur. Sorry I suppose I'm supposed to be talking about what I am doing now. I'm single. I'm not sure how I even feel about marriage at this point. So much uncertainty in it. Which is the more rewarding route to stay with someone until we die or to let them go and grow as they please? I guess the main things currently are work and school. I know what I want to be and I'm taking those steps that's been the focus. That and deepening my roots with my friends.
Things I hope you're doing:
I hope you passed that damn CORE test we have to take next year. I also hope you're about to start your student teaching in the spring preparing to graduate and find a job! I hope you still hang out with your friends as much as you are right now. I hope you gardened more next season. Do you still have the long hair? I'd assume you do because I'm really loving it right now. I wonder if you're still single. No pressure either way. I wonder if you've found any peace with this whole death issue. I wonder if you still stress and wonder about it before you sleep and when you run. I hope you're still practicing the guitar I did a terrible job with that this year but maybe you will do better. I hope you managed to travel some place new this year maybe not out of the country but a new place to hike or camp. Damn you're in your last year of your 20's now...I wonder what that's like? I've always talked up my 30's and how great they are going to be but since it's just us right now I can be real and say I have a huge fear of getting old. I've never been in my 30's before... Try to think about when you're 60 and how you will view your 30's I'm sure your perspective will be much more soft. I'm just glad I'm not turning 29 right now. But the time will come as always we move forward. I hope you bought two jars and some pebbles. One jar filled with a pebble for each month you've lived, the other jar with the pebble of how many months left until I'm 85. We need to put some perspective into this short single life.
Things I've learned since turning 27:
What the hell have I learned? I feel like I learned how much I don't know. I've learned that maybe everything I've known is wrong. What does that mean? I've learned the value of my friendships or as we are calling it now my squad. I've learned that finding someone isn't the most important thing in life. But I don't know what the most important thing is. I want you to remember all of those horrible fights with exgirlfriends. Remember that time you drove over to Bea's house and she was so pissed at you. You sat with her on her front steps. She wouldn't look at you, she wouldn't speak to you. She wouldn't let you put your hand on her back. What if your marriage got to that point? What if there was no fixing it? I've been watching the Sopranos I just watched the episode where Carmela finally had enough of Tony's neglect. That episode was really powerful to me. Imagine how he made his wife feel. How terrible her stomach must have hurt. Imagine being kicked out of your own house sleeping on the couch of a friends or in a hotel. Kicked out of your own home. Imagine how your children would handle it. Marriage and children are such huge releases of control. What would it be like to live with someone you have no control over? What would it be like if one day she was throwing all of my things in the driveway and telling me I couldn't be inside my own home with my own wife and my own kids. We only get one shot at this life. I never want to experience that in this one life. I'm going to work very hard to make sure I don't end up in a marriage like that. Adam listen to me, I don't care how much older you get before marriage, living alone would be infinitely better than hearing the woman you've committed your life to tell you she doesn't want you anymore. Remember that fight with Whitney when you were in college when you were at her house and she just walked into the woods behind her house? Ugh We've had some terrible fights and we've caused such pain to the women we've loved. It's kinda crazy to think about how much power we have, more than we probably know and how much power we give also. So many ugly fights, how ugly I am capable of becoming... Anyway as a working adult student who has finally found what I want to pursue as a career I guess what I have learned in everything is, don't rush it. Don't rush any part of life. Don't rush the career. Don't rush marriage. Don't rush buying a house. Don't rush children. Slow down and do it right the first time so you only have to do it once. Because let's face it Adam we only get to do it once. Don't rush but don't let it slip by. As Special Agent Dale Cooper says in Twin Peaks, "I'm going to let you in on a little secret. Every day, once a day, give yourself a present. Don’t plan it, don’t wait for it, just let it happen. It could be a new shirt at the men's store, a catnap in your office chair or two cups of good hot black coffee." I love you Adam, everything will be alright. I hope this letter finds you well.
1987 Born
1988 00
1989 01
1990 02
1991 03
1992 04
1993 05
1994 06 Started Grade School
1995 07
1996 08
1997 09
1998 10
1999 11
2000 12
2001 13
2002 14
2003 15
2004 16
2005 17
2006 18 Graduated High School
2007 19
2008 20
2009 21
2010 22 Graduated College
2011 23
2012 24
2013 25
2014 26
2015 27