From Dust You Came, and To Dust You Shall Return
-Genesis 3:19
Eomer: Look for your friends, but do not trust to hope. It has forsaken these lands.
Tonight marked the first day of lent. I saw her again tonight. How is it I managed to go months without seeing her and now twice in the same week?
Claire stayed with me as I sat and cried like an idiot. She's a really good friend.
I didn't think I was going to do anything for lent. I really just love Ash Wednesday for it's focus on death. It's so interesting. But after I saw her and talked to You about it God I have decided what I will do for this season.
I will take this season as a grieving time for the loss of what could have been. No more performances, no more fake Adam. I'm tired of living this life. I will allow myself to hope and to pray that she will come back. That she feels the same as me.
But if she doesn't reach out to me in anyway by the sunrise of Easter morning then I will never talk about this with You or anyone again.
I remember Easter last year she spent it with my family in Wauseon. If she doesn't say anything to me I will know.
I thought about that verse in 2 Samuel again:
After Nathan returned to his home, the Lord sent a deadly illness to the child of David and Uriah’s wife. David begged God to spare the child. He went without food and lay all night on the bare ground. The elders of his household pleaded with him to get up and eat with them, but he refused. Then on the seventh day the child died. David’s advisers were afraid to tell him. “He wouldn’t listen to reason while the child was ill,” they said. “What drastic thing will he do when we tell him the child is dead?” When David saw them whispering, he realized what had happened. “Is the child dead?” he asked. “Yes,” they replied, “he is dead.” Then David got up from the ground, washed himself, put on lotions, and changed his clothes. He went to the Tabernacle and worshiped the Lord. After that, he returned to the palace and was served food and ate. His advisers were amazed. “We don’t understand you,” they told him. “While the child was still living, you wept and refused to eat. But now that the child is dead, you have stopped your mourning and are eating again.” David replied, “I fasted and wept while the child was alive, for I said, ‘Perhaps the Lord will be gracious to me and let the child live.’ But why should I fast when he is dead? Can I bring him back again? I will go to him one day, but he cannot return to me.”
...Perhaps the Lord will be gracious to me
It's weird thinking she won't be in my life anymore and I wonder if that's truly best too.
40 days and then I will be done.
Taylor Swift - Wildest Dreams
-Genesis 3:19
Eomer: Look for your friends, but do not trust to hope. It has forsaken these lands.
Tonight marked the first day of lent. I saw her again tonight. How is it I managed to go months without seeing her and now twice in the same week?
Claire stayed with me as I sat and cried like an idiot. She's a really good friend.
I didn't think I was going to do anything for lent. I really just love Ash Wednesday for it's focus on death. It's so interesting. But after I saw her and talked to You about it God I have decided what I will do for this season.
I will take this season as a grieving time for the loss of what could have been. No more performances, no more fake Adam. I'm tired of living this life. I will allow myself to hope and to pray that she will come back. That she feels the same as me.
But if she doesn't reach out to me in anyway by the sunrise of Easter morning then I will never talk about this with You or anyone again.
I remember Easter last year she spent it with my family in Wauseon. If she doesn't say anything to me I will know.
I thought about that verse in 2 Samuel again:
After Nathan returned to his home, the Lord sent a deadly illness to the child of David and Uriah’s wife. David begged God to spare the child. He went without food and lay all night on the bare ground. The elders of his household pleaded with him to get up and eat with them, but he refused. Then on the seventh day the child died. David’s advisers were afraid to tell him. “He wouldn’t listen to reason while the child was ill,” they said. “What drastic thing will he do when we tell him the child is dead?” When David saw them whispering, he realized what had happened. “Is the child dead?” he asked. “Yes,” they replied, “he is dead.” Then David got up from the ground, washed himself, put on lotions, and changed his clothes. He went to the Tabernacle and worshiped the Lord. After that, he returned to the palace and was served food and ate. His advisers were amazed. “We don’t understand you,” they told him. “While the child was still living, you wept and refused to eat. But now that the child is dead, you have stopped your mourning and are eating again.” David replied, “I fasted and wept while the child was alive, for I said, ‘Perhaps the Lord will be gracious to me and let the child live.’ But why should I fast when he is dead? Can I bring him back again? I will go to him one day, but he cannot return to me.”
...Perhaps the Lord will be gracious to me
It's weird thinking she won't be in my life anymore and I wonder if that's truly best too.
40 days and then I will be done.
Taylor Swift - Wildest Dreams