In my 24 years of life under the sun I've learned three truths of this broken world.
The First is that
No one Truly Cares About Anyone
Humans aren't capable of love.
Humans are patient and kind. Humans are not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. They do not demand their own way. They are not irritable, and they keep no record of being wronged. They do not rejoice about injustice but rejoice whenever the truth wins out. Humans never give up, never lose faith, are always hopeful, and endure through every circumstance.
Listen to how completely absurd that sounds. The older I get and the more people I talk with the more I become aware of the brokenness that engulfs the lives of every human.
The world is filled with hurt people hurting people.
I was told this first truth numerous times by someone I love very much. I never understood why they were so focused on it. I figured everyone knew that everyone is selfish. But this person isn't like everyone else, or so I thought, this person seemed to genuinely truly care about others and when it wasn't returned they began to realize this truth.
It wasn't until this person showed me first hand how much people ultimately only do care about their own happiness and their own wants above others that I believed and discovered this first truth.
Proverbs 4:23
Guard your heart above all else,
for it determines the course of your life.
I always thought Proverbs 4:23 sounded cold and selfish. It was only after I neglected to guard my heart and forgot that no one truly cares that I learned the value and weight of Proverbs 4:23.
I feel so foolish for letting someone in. Why let anyone in? No one truly cares. They seem like they care, they might even fool themselves into thinking they care but sooner or later the truth will come out. I feel like a novelty souvenir shop. I let people in they walk around for a while they oo and ah at all the interesting items of my life I have displayed. They take pictures and tell friends. They share my inventory with their family they talk about how my stock would fit perfectly into their life and home but once the lap around the shop is done and the novelty starts to wear off they realize that the prices are a little higher than they'd like and they don't really NEED any of it. Probably find something similar back home for a lot cheaper. They thank me for letting them walk around the shop and then out the door they go never to return. Why even open the shop? Giving pieces of myself away to countless people who come in and out of my life.
Of all the commandments, which is the most important?
You answered that question with Deuteronomy 6:5 and Leviticus 19:18:
The second is equally important: "love your neighbor as yourself. I am the LORD." No other commandment is greater than these.
How am I suppose to do this? I am not capable of loving someone as I love myself. No one is. Is it possible to obey one of the greatest commands while still guarding my own heart? I can attempt to love my broken neighbors with my broken love as best I can but I'm going to need a lot of help from You.
Is it possible to love my neighbor as I love myself while still guarding my heart?
I can't handle going through what I'm going through now again. I refuse to do it. I'll give my heart completely to You but no one else. You and you alone are capable of truly caring.
God is Love (1 John 4:8)
