Freedom is not having everything we crave, it's being able to go without the things we crave and being OK with it.
-Rob Bell
The past 24 hours of my life have been an interesting test.
My car wouldn't start, jumper cables didn't work. This afternoon once my ride dropped me off after church I drove my roommates car to the auto parts store with my battery. The charge was perfect. I called a mobile mechanic. He put in a brand new starter, it still wouldn't run. I'm out a lot of money, my car doesn't start, and the insurance adjuster doesn't work on Sundays.
A younger Adam would be furious, anxious, and impatient. But as I continue my walk with You I see the futility in those avenues. I also notice before my mouth speaks the complaints of my mind how blessed I am to be able to afford such complaints.
Less than 9% of the world has the luxury of owning a vehicle.
Can anyone truly own anything? Once I understand You don't owe me a vehicle, let alone one that functions properly, I begin to find gratitude within myself.
The temptation to call the woman I've loved and shared my life with came and went through out this weekend. Why? I know her interest in every detail of my daily life has withered to nothing. Yet, here I am battling my reflex to listen to her voice.
She is not mine. She is Yours. I am Yours.
Help me live with open hands. Your love is not conditional towards me. Help my love be unconditional towards You. Mountains or valleys, help me give my heart, my dreams, my rights, my pride to You. Her loyalty, my car, earthly wealth, I count it all as loss for the sake of knowing You.
Help me to be OK going without the things I crave.
Surrender - Marc James
And I Surrender
All to You, all to You.
May your will be done on earth, as it is in heaven.
Matthew 6:10
I want your will to be done, not mine.
Matthew 26:39