Adam and Christ: 12/02/23

Dear 37 year old Adam,

I've just turned 36. Tem Abel and I are about a week away from moving to our new house in Bexley. I'm looking over the monthly budget and it's going to be a tight year for you. Good luck with that. This year has been truly amazing I got to watch Abel grow so much and so fast fatherhood has been better than I ever imagined it. It's also come with its challenges. Tem and I have struggled with communication and I often feel unheard with desperate attempts of repeating myself and raising my voice which usually seems to be fruitless and I walk away still feeling unheard and on an island. We've been seeing a couples counselor and we've been seeing individual counselors. I think parenting has certainly raised the stakes. Before if I'm not heard it just means she thinks I like music I hate. Now it feels like I'm not a good dad or a good partner. It stings more. But There isn't much I can do besides listen to the counselors and keep trying to express who I am and how I feel. We did some traveling. Boyos Weekend was in San Diego, We went to the DR with her family and we went to London. I also went up to Sleeping Bear Dunes with Brian and Travis at the end of the summer. August was when I found out my cholesterol is higher than ideal so I've been working on my diet. For our sake I hope you've carried that torch well. We had a nanny for Abel until he turned 1 then he started daycare. He seems to have been sick nonstop since October. Tem has been an incredible mom even better than the near perfect I knew she would be. I am excited to see my son grow but I also want to slow it down some times. It's this weird pull in both directions of time. This school year has been amazing so far. I have a truly special group of kids. It's refreshing after last year's group which is giving first grade a very difficult time. Roma left K which has been very different for me but I feel confident enough finally to take the senior role in K. Button has been a solid replacement she seems to have the right view on education and isn't giving that toxic teacher vibe that can kill a lounge. I wrote a class sizes paper and gave it to the union and sent it to Dr. Walker. Keep me updated on that will you?

Things I'm doing now:
As I mentioned Tem, Abel, and I are moving. Hopefully one last move for the next few decades. This is year 7 teaching Kindergarten. I managed to keep hitting the gym 3 times a week in the mornings thanks to Tem being a great partner. We made it past the SIDS fear we "celebrated 1" as the ad campaign says. Still stressed though. No blankets at this point in the crib. My parents did finally meet Abel and Tem as made it a point for them to see him monthly which I think is a great thing that they and Abel will be thankful for down the road or even now. This school year as been amazing. Let me know if they scored the highest you've ever had. I'm not reading a lot but I hope 36 year old Adam does better than 35 did. I hope you're an even better dad than this year. I did do some yoga with Tem in the summer but we could probably do better next year. I did get that PC doctor and I think I'm going to try to stay in the classroom. This year as been so good it's maybe bought me a few more years before I'm burned out. The days are flying by as work has been so rewarding and then getting home flies until his 6:30 bedtime.

Things I hope you're doing:
I hope this school year has also been smooth. I hope the district heard you about class sizes. I hope Tem is pregnant with the second kid as you read this. I hope you've moved into the new house and you love the neighborhood. I hope you learned some new trees and you take the family on lots of walks. I hope you've done some more yoga and that you've stuck to the budget for the new mortgage. I hope your diet has been strict and those LDL numbers dropped to a point the doc was impressed. I hope you get your 6 cheat meals a month. I hope you're still hitting the gym 3 times a week with some gains. I hope Abel is potty trained I mean holy shit the boy is probably talking. What's he like? He's so sweet I know he makes you smile more than you've ever smiled in your life. Make sure you slow it down. Put in the work. Do the cute crafts and take the time to drive him out to the metro parks. I wonder if you guys cuddle up on rainy days and watch some bluey or something. Fatherhood rocks. I hope you're taking care of yourself. We're not getting any younger. I hope you found a new hairstyle for the year. Looks like I went with this subtle mullet. We'll see what you cooked up.

Things I've learned since turning 35:
I learned we aren't getting any younger. The front facing camera turned from funny to concerning this year. 36 that's the age of Homer Simpson. That's like a real grown up. I hope you're taking care of your eyes, your teeth, your diet, we got to work on flexibility here. I learned that being a father has made me much more vulnerable. Tem's words cut deeper than ever before. Movies with parents in them hit like crazy different now. That new Spider-man movie. I guess I've gotten more sleep than 34 year old Adam did but I still feel I'm at a loss for words here. I didn't listen to him and take time to write throughout the year like I should have. Maybe next year. Don't be so hard on yourself and make sure Tem knows how much you love her. Besides the boy she's the best thing that's ever happened to you. Also let the record show for 2023 this site absolutely sucks for formatting pictures and formatting in general.