Friday December 5, 2008 - Hindsight is 20/20
I have decided to start a notebook to keep track of all of my thoughts and actions so that I can recall and learn from them so I do not make the same mistakes as I did in the past. There was one mistake in perticular that caused me to be so overwhelmed with regret that I did not want to have to deal with forgetting mistakes and repeating them over and over. I am currently at my apartment 128 West 9th Ave in Columbus. This week has been very influencial on me after returning from Thanksgiving break Monday morning I checked my facebook to learn that Jimmy Z. is dating my exgirlfriend/high school sweatheart of 3 1/2 years. I reacted just like I always did when I found out Whitney was exiting my life I went crying to her. That night I called with her until 4:30 in the morning. The Tuesday after that we talked until 7:30 the sun was up. Wednesday we talked until 3:00ish I believe and last night until 6:30am I love talking to her on the phone it takes me back to such good memories. However because of my selfishness she is no longer with me she is with Jimmy. She last night told me she wants to stay with him to be sure she's suppose to be with me or him because of this I'm reaching towards the Lord. I need God to complete me and help me rely on God and not the faulty attention from my lusting desires of women. I am extremely nervous that she will choose Jimmy over me and even if not he will be in her mind from now on. The situation is too much for me to bare and thus I give it up to Jesus so that He can make it his and not mine. If by the grace of God Whitney gives me a 4th chance I pray that I never let her go again.
I have decided to start a notebook to keep track of all of my thoughts and actions so that I can recall and learn from them so I do not make the same mistakes as I did in the past. There was one mistake in perticular that caused me to be so overwhelmed with regret that I did not want to have to deal with forgetting mistakes and repeating them over and over. I am currently at my apartment 128 West 9th Ave in Columbus. This week has been very influencial on me after returning from Thanksgiving break Monday morning I checked my facebook to learn that Jimmy Z. is dating my exgirlfriend/high school sweatheart of 3 1/2 years. I reacted just like I always did when I found out Whitney was exiting my life I went crying to her. That night I called with her until 4:30 in the morning. The Tuesday after that we talked until 7:30 the sun was up. Wednesday we talked until 3:00ish I believe and last night until 6:30am I love talking to her on the phone it takes me back to such good memories. However because of my selfishness she is no longer with me she is with Jimmy. She last night told me she wants to stay with him to be sure she's suppose to be with me or him because of this I'm reaching towards the Lord. I need God to complete me and help me rely on God and not the faulty attention from my lusting desires of women. I am extremely nervous that she will choose Jimmy over me and even if not he will be in her mind from now on. The situation is too much for me to bare and thus I give it up to Jesus so that He can make it his and not mine. If by the grace of God Whitney gives me a 4th chance I pray that I never let her go again.