Wednesday December 24, 2008 - Christmas Eve
Last night after I wrote in this and I was laying in bed I had to call Whitney one more time. I couldn't fall asleep with out talking to her. I woke up at 11 showered in mom's bathroom because of the frozen pipes. Called Whitney at noon about lunch she turned me down and said I need to back off let God take control. This is the scariest thing I've had to do. I am trying to put this in his hands completely so I went up stairs and tried to spend time with my family. Today my great grandma died on my mom's mom's side. Travis and I went to wal-mart I didn't feel like doing much so of course I run into Audrey F. there. Made me miss Whitney even more. I hate sitting back and waiting doing nothing. I feel so powerless. I'm sure this is part of the healing process it just sucks. After that my family ate dinner. I have no appetite and I have that gut feeling. After dinner my brother talked to me about Elliot and Hollis, Brock. The whole thing happened a year ago tonight. He relaxed me some but the Christmas Eve service made me miss her even more. I hate this constant stomach pain. I know I shouldn't call Whitney but I feel like I have to. I love talking to her. She calms me in a way like nothing else. I know I am for her I just need to let God decide when. Lord please help me get through this however long it takes.
Last night after I wrote in this and I was laying in bed I had to call Whitney one more time. I couldn't fall asleep with out talking to her. I woke up at 11 showered in mom's bathroom because of the frozen pipes. Called Whitney at noon about lunch she turned me down and said I need to back off let God take control. This is the scariest thing I've had to do. I am trying to put this in his hands completely so I went up stairs and tried to spend time with my family. Today my great grandma died on my mom's mom's side. Travis and I went to wal-mart I didn't feel like doing much so of course I run into Audrey F. there. Made me miss Whitney even more. I hate sitting back and waiting doing nothing. I feel so powerless. I'm sure this is part of the healing process it just sucks. After that my family ate dinner. I have no appetite and I have that gut feeling. After dinner my brother talked to me about Elliot and Hollis, Brock. The whole thing happened a year ago tonight. He relaxed me some but the Christmas Eve service made me miss her even more. I hate this constant stomach pain. I know I shouldn't call Whitney but I feel like I have to. I love talking to her. She calms me in a way like nothing else. I know I am for her I just need to let God decide when. Lord please help me get through this however long it takes.