12/31/17

I hate American politics and I hate the two party system it has somehow created. Earlier this week while I was in Chicago with Brian and Travis we somehow got on the topic. Brian of course being the sternest, and most loyal Democrat I know was obviously blindly supporting all things Democrat. Travis a self identifying "fiscal conservative, social liberal" was somewhere in between and of course myself who believes we shouldn't settle for this current structure of government and thus we must reject and protest against it until all of the lobbyist and influencers have no place in the public service realm whose goal it is to be the voice and representative of their people without self interest.

I made the statement "all politicians are the same." It's all the same everyone is in someones pocket and every decision, every policy they all come from corrupt, selfish entities. Brian, almost robotically spewed out the democratic position, "that's a very privileged thing to say." Travis avoiding conflict stayed out of it. So I texted Tem to check my privilege and hopefully get a view that isn't so party prepackaged. She instantly agreed with Brian. The more I thought about it the more I could see a bit of the perspective but I still don't like it.

When voting there are four choices we have in America
1) Democrat
2) Republican
3) Third Party
4) Abstain

If you choose to abstain then nothing is accomplished. Your vote does not harm a party nor does it help a party. Both sides could view your abstention as the reason things didn't go their way making you forever responsible for everything wrong in the country.

If you choose to vote third party you know your candidate will not win. This is a way to at least feel that your vote has power and your choice for candidate has been expressed. However again both sides could view your vote as the reason things didn't go their way making you forever the reason the people in power are the ones in power (if of course they aren't the ones the person speaking prefers.)

If you choose to vote republican then you are voting for policy and people who do not support programs and funding to help the marginalized and minorities. Every vote republican is a vote for less healthcare, less education, less food, and less housing, for those who for one reason or another may not be able to provide these human needs for themselves.

This leaves you at the same place I have found myself.

As a middle class white cis male I have no option but to vote democrat.
Because I am privileged enough to have my life not impacted in any substantial way by the man that's elected or any person in any office for that matter I can easily say all politicians are the same...because honestly, to me, they are. They are all the same because none of them impact my life directly.

But that isn't in the case for others. That isn't the case for trans people, gay people, minorities, Muslims, the poor, felons, the sick, homeless, uneducated, victims, and so many other people groups. To them it matters very very much who is in which place of power. Their lives are at stake. Depending who the mayor of New York is determines whether black men are stopped and frisked.
Depending who the Governor is in North Carolina, determines which bathroom people are forced to use.
Depending on who is the senator of Alabama determines if women feel safe in their state
Depending on who is our president determines if Muslim Americans have the right to religious freedom.

Policies, politics, public figures matter.
Not to me, but to many, many others.
Because they matter to others, and because those others are so vastly out numbered, it's my duty, my obligation as a privileged eligible voter to use my platform, to use my right to vote to help them be heard. To help them feel safe in their own country and to help them have the same opportunities and the same luxuries I have available based on nothing I have done but simply on my orientation, race, and gender.

As much as it kills me to vote and be complicit to a system that is in so many ways the reason for all of the oppression I have no other choice.

From this point on I will blindly vote democrat. I will align myself completely to the party and whoever the party endorses as their candidates. I have to because a vote for anyone or anything else is a vote against. And even if this candidate isn't the best candidate they are better than... and an extra democrat in Washington means the potential for majorities to be obtained.

I also learned about football and its affect on the brain. New York Times published an article making it hard to continue being a football fan with the way the game is played today. I'd go into my thoughts on this in more detail but I'm hungry and I want to watch game of thrones with Tem.

12/24/17

I made it to winter break, finished week 17 of teaching.

#4 – Big Trouble In Little China
ReleasedDec 01, 2017
Travis' friends Dain and Adam stop by to watch the Kurt Russell classic Big Trouble In Little China. Travis has never seen it. Dain was raised by it. But does this movie appeal to a Film Virgin?

I've spent this weekend at my parents house in Wauseon without Tyler and his wife. I had all this time to write and think this weekend and I absolutely wasted it watching white people renovate houses with my parents. Another reason I'm worried about having my summer to myself. No structure is a very bad thing for me. I need routine, I need goals, projects, or I sit. This weekend I was hoping to have some quiet time to process life and practice maybe writing something well rather than mindlessly rambling. And as you can see from what's written so far...it didn't happen.

I'm currently reading Brave New World by Aldous Huxley it was published in 1932. I'm assuming it was meant as a critique on society and where it was heading thanks to the industrial revolution, Henry Ford, and assembly line manufacturing. It's interesting tho reading this 85 years later because parts of it (I assume are meant to be perceived as negative) I kind of agree with. Which maybe proves his point that in the future we will be hedonistic and moralless. In the book characters are encouraged to sleep with as many different partners as they want and monogamy is frowned upon. While I do think the book takes the idea too far (which is the purpose of science fiction, e.g. Black Mirror) the main social commentary he is picking at I don't find to be a negative. He was (I think) trying to say kids these days are just out having sex with whoever and they don't see the value in only one partner for life. While everyone should be free to choose monogamy if they'd like I in 2017 don't see anything wrong with consenting adults having sex. Do I think monogamy is bad? Definitely not, I'd love me a solid monogamous relationship for the rest of my life...but that doesn't mean I'd look at their lifestyle with abhorrence. He also mentions a bit about how they no longer practice religions specifically Christianity...again maybe not the worst thing? Haha I feel weird saying some of Huxley's warnings for society in the 1930s are proud steps of progress to me in 2017 thus proving him right about the decay of morality in future societies... but I don't like all of the changes in the book... Obviously 😑

"Tempestt I'm not ok, I think I'm really messed up"
This weekend Tyler and Brittany stayed in Columbus to host Brittany's family. for whatever reason, as my mother always does, she was listing the sleeping arrangements of the house. My ears perked up when I heard her say Brittany is in the room in the basement and Tyler is on the couch...Tyler on the couch... in his own home with his wife and her whole family. You're going to sleep on the couch in front of her family proclaiming...we don't sleep together and it's fine?! I asked my mom to confirm she said when they visit Wauseon and I'm not here (which made me wonder how many more trips home they are making than I am per year) Tyler usually sleeps in my room. To which my father replied "Yeah just like we do" I have always said my brother's marriage is exactly like my parents' but I didn't really think it was that much...
This worried me...in a panic I texted to Tem that I think I'm messed up...see these past two weeks for whatever reason near the end of the day I would begin to shut down, close off, and lock up. Tem and I would sleep silently without touching in the same room. Every morning I'd wake up frustrated and confused why I'm living like this when I clearly don't want to...Then I learn everyone in my family doesn't sleep with their significant other and it made me nervous.
Red pill and blue pill
It feels like somewhere along the way I chose to take the red pill and found I wanted a different path in life a different type of relationship with my significant other...but as I've been learning these past 14 years relationships are difficult but I'm stuck...I can not be satisfied watching TV and sleeping in different rooms...but I also have no idea how to have a relationship any other way. And what makes it worse is Tem's family is the literal polar opposite of mine...The more I think about that statement the more I feel confident it's a deep truth. I don't know how to spend this much time with someone I like...I've been taught to have massive amounts of space away from them so they don't get too close. Keep conversations on the surface...talk about sports, or the pets, or how my car is driving. Stick to the traditions and routines of life... the same movies during the same holidays and never break character in the family unit.
But I want to spend most of my time with her, and I want to spend every night cuddling, and I want to spend our time talking, learning, growing, laughing, and being vulnerable with depth. I want these things but then I seem to keep falling into this pattern of silence and distance. I know I've told you many, many times Adam do not fuck this up with Tem...she always wondered why my previous relationships would end or why they would walk away from me...maybe shes starting to see my flaws...and not just the I eat ice cream and organize my sock drawer kind of flaws...I mean the deep stuff that makes women walk away and leave me flaws. I don't want your life.
"Tempestt I'm not ok, I think I'm really messed up"

twenty one pilots - screen

12/17/17

Tomorrow is Tem's 26th birthday

2014
Hannibal Buress Called Bill Cosby a Rapist During a Stand up

“Pull your pants up black people, I was on TV in the ‘80s, Yeah, but you rape women, Bill Cosby. So turn the crazy down a couple notches.”

2016
Donald Trump On Tape: I Grab Women "By The Pussy”


January 2017 The Women's March

Uber co-founder and CEO Travis Kalanick resigned in June.

This autumn:
Harvey Weinstein
Ben Affleck
Roy Price
Chris Savino
Lockhart Steele
John Besh
James Toback
Terry Richardson
Leon Wieseltier
Knight Landesman
Mark Halperin
Ken Baker
Kevin Spacey
Jeremy Piven
Hamilton Fish
Michael Oreskes
Andy Dick
Brett Ratner
Jeff Hoover
Dustin Hoffman
David Guillod, Ed Westwick, Jeffrey Tambor, Matthew Weiner, Roy Moore, Louis C.K., Andrew Kreisberg, Eddie Berganza, Gary Goddard, Al Franken, John Conyers, Glenn Thrush, Charlie Rose, John Lasseter, Nick Carter, Matt Lauer, Garrison Keillor, Russell Simmons, Blake Farenthold, Ruben Kihuen, Warren Moon, Mario Batali, Ryan Lizza, and the list continues to grow each week.

One Mississippi - S2E5: Can't Fight This Feeling

Women in this country are slowly carving out a place for themselves, they are slowly fighting back. Before the shame of being a prude or speaking out and becoming a slut was always on the woman and now in the most incredible and courageous way women are pushing back, they are taking the power and the shame and the consequences are changing hands. We aren't there yet but I love where our country is going. I think now seeing democracy through the power of social media and hashtags has changed the game of majority rules. Like the news footage of the south being broadcast up north during the civil rights movement of the 60s opening the eyes to the lives of the oppressed and silent. Like #blacklivesmatter showing the cell phone footage of police officers murdering citizens they swore to protect and serve. and now #metoo shining a light on something we all knew has always happened but now the power has changed. 2017 has been a monumental year for women. And in the weirdest way I wonder if we have Donald Trump to thank for it... I wonder what our year would have looked like if Hilary was elected. Would it have pissed off women enough to march in the numbers they did across the country? Would it have pushed the silence breakers to come forward and tell the whole story of their predators?

Ben Roethlisberger raped a 20 year old college student in March of 2010.
"Ben asked us to go to his 'VIP' area (back of Capital). We all went with him. He said there were shots for us, numerous shots were on the bar, and he told us to take them. His bodyguard came and took my arm and said come with me, he escorted me into a side door/hallway, and sat me on a stool. He left and Ben came back with his penis out of his pants. I told him it wasn't OK, no, we don't need to do this and I proceeded to get up and try to leave. I went to the first door I saw, which happened to be a bathroom. He followed me into the bathroom and shut the door behind him. I still said no, this is not OK, and he then had sex with me. He said it was OK. He then left without saying anything."

A prosecutor decided that he would not pursue criminal charges against Roethlisberger, saying he could not prove that a crime had been committed. If this happened seven years later I have a feeling Ben would not be playing football this Sunday.

July 2003 Kobe Bryant raped a 19-year-old hotel employee in Edwards, Colorado.
Bryant admitted to an adulterous sexual encounter with his accuser, but denied the assault allegation. The case was dropped after Bryant's accuser refused to testify in the case. A separate civil suit was later filed against Bryant by the woman. This was settled out of court and included Bryant's publicly apologizing to his accuser, though admitting no guilt on his part.

Again if this happened 14 years later I think the trial might have gone differently.

We are living in a more woke society and I believe that is thanks to social media. Thanks to hashtags we are able to see the lives and lens of the oppressed and silenced. The voiceless are given a platform from which to speak. This movement will hopefully keep our leaders and celebrities accountable. Roy Moore did not win his election in a state that has voted for his party for over 20 years. People are stepping down and being removed from places of power whereas before Ben and Kobe not only continued their lives but did so essentially consequence free. I can't image what that poor woman feels every time she sees Ben Roethlisberger on TVs and jerseys all over the country. And I wonder how that hotel worker felt on Kobe's last game while the whole country congratulated and celebrated him.

Yes Hilary would have been a better president and our country would be better off without Trump in office but Trump winning the election has opened the countries eyes to the honesty of how much work we have to do. Like Brian said on twitter this week, it isn't just the south, it isn't just Alabama we all elected Trump as president through our silence, our complacency, and our delusions that we are past and beyond sexism, racism, as a whole in the country. The truth is now in our faces, and the entire world can see. We have so much work to do but the women who marched and spoke up this year in 2017, they will lead us to a better United States.

I know I started this letter saying tomorrow is Tem's birthday and I want to celebrate her for being exactly what this country needs more of smart independent educated empowered women. She's only 25 but she is so much more mature and wise than I am at 30. She's someone I look up to and I value her opinion of me a lot. When she disagrees with me or when she has a different opinion on an issue I always try to listen to her and learn from her. I'm very thankful she is in my life and I want to continue to encourage her to use her voice because her thoughts and her position in this planet are valuable and they matter. I like her a lot and I want her to have many, many more birthdays.

Week 16 of teaching complete.

Where's My Love - SYML

12/10/17

Week 15 of teaching completed

My birthday weekend thanks to Tem
I can't beleive Tem surprised me by flying Brian across the country for the weekend. She did everything for my weekend. She got all my friends together, she went to the Chinese lights with Alicia, she watched football at pins she got me those balloons and dealt with me all weekend. What an incredible woman.

She's in Dallas right now with her friend. We had a weird week
and when I say we I of course me it was all on my end.
Fucking 29 year old Adam told me not to fuck this up and I'm not even a week into my 30's and I'm already fucking it up.

She's just getting scary close. She's in my life, she knows my friends, she knows my likes, she knows (some) of my insecurities, she's gaining more and more power. She means more and more to me and I don't like that...I don't like when people can hurt me.

I'm afraid she'll see too much, know to much, learn who the real outdoor, hiking, camping, gardening, teaching, manbun man really is and she'll lose interest... I struggle to trust her when she says she likes me, when she says she enjoys being with me this isn't her fault...This is a me problem...It's the same one that has destroyed all my relationships.

Now my trust issues are hurting her, because I don't trust that she really likes me I'm pulling back, prepping for the end which is hurting her, which will actually lead to the end, only continuing to fulfill my trust issues...

I'm not doing this with her, to her, I like her so much she is everything I could want in a life partner. She seems trust worthy...she's never given me a reason not to trust her.

It kills me to be a reason for sleeplessness in her life. I don't want to be a burden. I want to be an oasis, a retreat, not a reason to retreat. I feel selfish for the way I acted this week.

I can do this.
I don't want to be alone.
I don't want my parents' marriage.
I am capable of trusting someone.
I am capable of letting them in.
I want Tem.
Don't fuck this up Adam.

My parents have always slept in different rooms, I don't ever want to be in the same bed without touching even under the same roof... Adam, you're 30...your life is flying by you...today could be your last day...why the fuck would you not hold her...why would you not kiss every inch of her face celebrating not only her existence but what an incredible human she is. She needs to know how special she is, she needs to know how rare she is, she needs to know if given the choice, we'd always, always, choose her. We need to express to her outwardly the value she holds inwardly.

I have this fear, this fear of looking back and wondering why I didn't do more. Don't let a cold 8 minute walk keep you from her, be thankful it's only 8, be thankful you have the luxury of that walk, the health for that walk. Don't let insecurities, trust issues, and yourself get in the way of not just your happiness but hers. Put your phone down and look at her beautiful eyes, that smile, and that perfect skin. Make her laugh more, listen better. We only get one life and I want to spend it with someone as fun, pretty, smart, motivated, interesting, poetic, gentle, funny, royal, and beautiful as Tem is. You've wasted your childhood and 20's being afraid and selfish I won't let you waste your 30's...who tf knows if I'll even get every day of them like I did my 20's.

She's been gone since Friday morning and when you see her tomorrow evening she better feel, not just hear but feel how much you missed her this weekend.



Black Mothers Keep Dying After Giving Birth. Shalon Irving's Story Explains Why
black mothers in the U.S. die at three to four times the rate of white mothers
a black woman is 22 percent more likely to die from heart disease than a white woman, 71 percent more likely to perish from cervical cancer, but 243 percent more likely to die from pregnancy- or childbirth-related causes.
black, college-educated mothers who gave birth in local hospitals were more likely to suffer severe complications of pregnancy or childbirth than white women who never graduated from high school.
33 percent of black women said that they personally had been discriminated against because of their race when going to a doctor or health clinic, and 21 percent said they have avoided going to a doctor or seeking health care out of concern they would be racially discriminated against.
"It's the experience of having to work harder than anybody else just to get equal pay and equal respect. It's being followed around when you're shopping at a nice store, or being stopped by the police when you're driving in a nice neighborhood."
research even suggests it accelerates aging at the molecular level; in a 2010 study Geronimus and colleagues conducted, the telomeres (chromosomal markers of aging) of black women in their 40s and 50s appeared 7 1/2 years older on average than those of whites.
Black women are 49 percent more likely than whites to deliver prematurely (and, closely related, black infants are twice as likely as white babies to die before their first birthday). Here again, income and education aren't protective.
"As women get older, birth outcomes get worse," Lu said. "If that happens in the 40s for white women, it actually starts to happen for African-American women in their 30s."


Lil Yachty - Like A Star

12/02/17

Dear 31 year old Adam,

I've just turned 30. It took every last day of my 20's to get here. The start of this year I lost my health insurance and I became unemployed. I got a membership at planet fitness and it's the worst gym. They don't have any of the equipment I want...like a simple bench press rack...but it's $10 a month and I was unemployed in the winter. I began my student teaching at Leawood Elementary the week of MLK day. It was a lot of fun working with those 3rd graders and learning a lot about blended learning. Donald Trump was actually inaugurated at the president of the country I live in...and yes it has been every bit as terrible as he promised it would be. Nazis and KKK members marching in the streets under the guise of "Free Speech." I went to Colorado in March. During that trip my mom called to let me know my dad's mother (my grandmother) had passed away. The trip was a lot of fun spending the days hiking by myself in the mountains and spending the evenings with my friends around the high brow ski towns. I wonder how dad feels to not have either of his parents alive. This will be his first Christmas without his mother, how strange. I was offered a kindergarten position at Africentric in April after being hired by the district at the job fair. I finished my program at Ashland in May. I backpacked some of the AT in the Smoky mountains during memorial day weekend. Brian Jared and I camped in Cuyahoga Valley in June that trip was less than interesting. Maryland in July for our yearly Atlantic trip. Claire moved to the middle east and Melissa got married so Travis and I moved to German village in Mid July/ early August. I started teaching in late August and it's been a lot but I knew it would be. Brian moved to Seattle this summer and that has sucked, Dain moved to Chicago.

Things I'm doing now:
It's crazy to read 29 year old Adam's letter to me when he said, "I'm so excited to become a teacher. When you read this you will hopefully be one!" Because I'm sitting here right now, 31 year old Adam, and I am exactly what he hoped we'd be. I've been seeing Tem for four months now, this is the longest I've been talking to someone exclusively since the summer of 2015. And I think this is the first time I've been seeing someone on my birthday since...fuck maybe high school? I know 29 year old Adam wanted me to be seeing someone when I write this letter and I am although it's much more complicated than I think he would have liked it to be I think he'd be very happy to know it's Tem and it certainly isn't settling. Please 31 year old Adam tell me you didn't fuck this thing up when you read this. Please don't. She's amazing in every way. I won't gush about her because if you fuck it up the last thing you need is a reminder from me about how great this time of our life has been. We did Halloween together I went out as an organized costume group like you've always wanted. We have been doing a lot of those couples things you've wanted for a while with someone worth doing it with...she's more than I could have asked for. I'm working the job that I've wanted for the past two years. It's been amazing, it's crazy to be cashing these fat ass checks every other week but most of it has just been going towards the Ashland debt. I'm sure 32 year old Adam will thank me and you when he's debt free. Things I'm doing now? as sad as it is my schedule still feels as full as if I were in grad school because of the late nights at the school figuring out what I'm suppose to be doing. I should probably spend more time with my friends before they all get married off and I never see them.

Things I hope you're doing:
Another terrible job practicing guitar please tell me you did a better job in 2018, at least over summer break, what else are you going to do with that time off? I hope you're still with Tem maybe it's official by now? maybe? Still haven't gotten those pebbles and jars, I do need to do that. I hope you're going to the gym 3 times a week however you decided to work that schedule out. I hope you're balancing friends, work, and girlfriend (if you have one) I know it can be easy to let one of the three atrophy. Please don't, get as much out of this one ride as you can. This summer I hope you actually garden weekly if not more since you aren't working. I also hope you fill your classroom with plants in your second year once we can start breathing a bit. Iceland or New Zealand once you flip the coin it'll be down to the loser and Machu Picchu for 2019. I know 29 year old Adam wanted me to read more Berry but it turns out Tem took me to hear him read to me! That's how amazing she is in case you forgot please don't ever forget. As for the 100 greatest novels of all time list I've finished 5 of them...a bit of a way to go but it's a start. Please at least get another 5 done. As 29 year old Adam said to me last year, Don't become hard cement stay flexible and open to ideas and lenses. I hope you're working on your science and social studies lesson plans this second year. Please tell me you've found a way to combine writing, reading, and science/social studies there isn't enough time in the day to do it any other way. I hope you got the courage to finally cut the manbun. It's been a good ride, but we need to move on...it was more of a late 20's Adam thing...I hope you're spending more time with friends than I have this fall since teaching started. Please at least watch the 1pm Sunday games with Neuy. Life has been good. I've been thinking 2017 might have been the best year of my life. I hope 2018 will be.

Things I've learned since turning 29:
This winter I learned I really do love teaching. Student teaching has been an amazing experience and I can't wait to have more control in my own classroom hopefully this fall. I'm kind of nervous about my 30's it looks like my circle of friends is growing smaller and smaller. But I'm also realizing I'm too much of an introvert to care enough to go out and meet people, or even ask existing friends if they'd like to hang out. Lately if I feel the desire to do something I won't invite anyone else I'll just go do it by myself. It feels like it's only a matter of time before my friends in their thirties decide to get married. The idea of this fills me with anxiety. I miss those days where my place was filled with roommates all of us just spending weekends together hanging out. My number went up to 9 way too fast. Kelly, Maya, Ericca, Lauren, Sarah, Elizabeth, Emily, Emily, Brittney So I decided to give up looking. I've also started to embrace what it means to be an introvert. I'm not sure if it is only because it is winter but I've spent most of this first quarter of the year locked in my room especially once I decided to give up the search for a girlfriend. I'm not sure what this next stage of life will look like. Will I slowly grow apart from my friends I've known my whole life? Will I meet a woman who makes being with someone seem better than being alone? I don't know but one thing I do know, I found a career. I found something that makes me excited about Mondays and pays the bills. Isn't that the goal when it comes to a career? (March 20 First day of Spring) This spring I finished my grad school program at Ashland. I not only finished student teaching but I also landed a job at Africentric teaching kindergarten. Currently I am back full time at the VECC I was working in the after school program with the K-2 classroom then I joined Mandi and Misty in A12 and now starting next week I will be back in A01 with the prek class as a lead while Beulah goes home to India for the summer. I spent this spring enjoying being single. Embracing the single life finally. Tempestt and I failed at not communicating so she cut me out and it has made these past few weeks very difficult. I guess I'm getting off topic, I learned I have very strong feelings towards her and it seems I will never have the chance to express them. I learned where I will be teaching for the next three years. I learned how difficult backpacking can be and that I need much lighter gear. I cut off my manbun and learned that I want that long hair back. Also that nine went up to 10 Ashleigh . I learned that marriage may not be for me and maybe a serious relationship might not either. (June 21 First day of Summer) 10 went to 11 Miriam Summer was a big change in my life. I changed jobs, apartments, and friends moved away. I learned that German Village is kinda too far south, and I learned that some intersections (mainly Mohawk and Kossuth) smell like sewage often. 11 went to 12 Jasmine I learned that loyalty is a deep character trait within myself. After Alicia wasn't allowed to work at the VECC I made her last day, my last day. 12 went to 13 Pritha. I also learned that justice is something important to me. In my two weeks notice I exposed somethings that were not right in the VECC and a few weeks later both the director and the assistant director were let go. I learned that teaching takes up a lot of time. SLOs, RIMPs, KRA, MAP, ILEAD, PAR, RESA, PDs, CEA working to the rule, and just the general task of building a curriculum and prepping each day. But with that I learned that I really enjoy teaching. I learned that all the work is worth it and I'm excited for my second year and to see how the rest of this school year goes. I'm slowly getting the hang of it but these 13 hour days can't be sustainable. I learned Tempestt is everything she seemed to be through messages. I think probably 95% of my days spent living in German Village I have seen her in someway, walking through Schiller, drinks at Mohawk, Big Brother finale on my couch, Club Diversity with Vanessa, and so on. She's a truly wonderful human. (September 22 First day of Autumn) And here we are again, another birthday. 30 complete laps around the sun. Work has been getting easier I've been getting out of work earlier and earlier bit by bit as I figure out my routine and what's working for this particular class. What are the things I've learned? I think I've learned how much I've grown by talking with Tem. I guess I left this part out when I wrote here the first day of autumn but Tem and I started communicating again when we both, through fate or whatever you'd like, moved to German Vilage. She decided to separate with her husband after years of abuse whether that be verbal, emotional, intimidating, and sometimes physical. That couldn't have been easy for her and I can't imagine what it must have felt like to not feel comfortable and safe in your own home to have the variable of not knowing what will happen when the person who vowed to protect you and keep you safe walks in the door and consistently breaks those vows. But she's stronger and more self sufficient than I think she even knows. The more things we go through the more I see I am able to communicate honestly and healthily with her. I'm not sure if I've grown or it's just how amazing she is. She's very easy to get along with and spending time with her is so easy and natural. In fact I'm struggling to sit here and think of something thoughtful when I know Tem is almost home and I want to go to her place and see her. I've learned life is better shared with someone and I've known that who that someone is makes all the difference on whether life is better shared or alone. 31 year old Adam...Please remember to take a step back. Remember to let the small things go. Remember to trust the words of those you care about. Remember to breathe. Don't let insecurities destroy and take from you the things that are truly important in life. Remember to invest in the people that make this life so amazing. Yes that means you should probably buy surprise gifts for Hendye and Roma, yes that means you should be working your ass off to surprise Tem and listen to her to come up with those surprises. Try to express to her how much she means to us. 28 year old Adam would lose his mind if he knew how this has played out since that bachelor party last summer. Anyway, Adam, love yourself, love those around you and remember unexpressed gratitude is ingratitude. I love you Adam, everything will be alright. I hope this letter finds you well.

My 20's: A decade in photos

1987 Born
1988 00
1989 01
1990 02
1991 03
1992 04
1993 05 Started Grade School
1994 06
1995 07
1996 08
1997 09
1998 10
1999 11
2000 12
2001 13
2002 14
2003 15
2004 16
2005 17
2006 18 Graduated High School
2007 19
2008 20
2009 21
2010 22 Graduated College
2011 23
2012 24
2013 25
2014 26
2015 27
2016 28
2017 29 Ohio Early Childhood Teaching License